At the pool - other adult behavior

[CousCousDefinitely]

I was at our local leisure centre today. It's a private hotel one, if it makes a difference, so it's users would be a combination of members, hotel guests and you can also pay for a day pass. I'm a member.
It was busy as it is normally on a Saturday afternoon. There were two guys I hadn't seen before in the lanes section (where you can do serious swimming, up one side and down the other). I wanted to do 50 or so lengths but it was tricky as it was me and them in the section and they were doing handstands, diving in (under the no diving sign) and generally getting in the way. I get this with children sometimes but not usually adults in their 30s or 40s.
Im laid back so I just sort of went around them as best I could. They were swimming under me and making me nervous. So after about 20 lengths I gave up.
I went into the steamroom and they arrived in about 10 minutes after and stared at me up and down in a pervy uncomfortable way.
So they it clicked that the pool annoyance was probably on purpose.
I left and was pissed off that it made me felt so uncomfortable.
I was pissed off that I couldn't do anything to stop them staring, that they'd intrrupted my swim and that I couldnt complain to the lifeguard while I was there as it would have been awkward, or as I was leaving as I didn't want to appear racist. The two guys were speaking Arabic to each other which is pretty uncommon in my town.
My dh went to the pool after I got home, for his turn at a bit of child free peace and I described them to him. He came back and said they were in the hot tub (this was 2 hours after me) so they'd probably got a day pass and stayed to piss off more people.
Was I unreasonable to just leave and say nothing and if so, what should I have done or said? Either to them or to the lifeguard. I feel like such a chicken.

For all those who seem to get their information on how women are treated in Islam, I have been married to a Muslim man for 20+ years, and never once has he asked me to cover my hair, be subserviant, etc. That's all bollocks. Islam is about peace and equality.

And are we really pretending that white British men don't rape, abuse and even murder their partners? That must be why DV units are being closed then.

Firstly, I believe you, and it sounds like a really unpleasant experience.

Complaining about people not following the centre rules is not racist.
If you refused to go to a swimming pool because there were 'Arabic' or 'Muslim' -looking men in there and you assumed they were sexual predators and reported them as such, then that would be racist.

Personally, I don't think their ethnicity/religion/immigration status is relevant - there are plenty of pervy and rude White British men around..

OP I agree with the point you make that no woman should be leered at by men and men have no right to make any woman feel uncomfortable. You should have reported that and I would have.

However, I do not agree with the clear prejudice towards Muslims in your post. You had no way of knowing that these men were Muslim, even assuming that you were correct about them speaking Arabic. Many Arabic speakers are followers of other faiths, particularly Christianity.

The way these men behaved was wrong, I agree, but you are VERY UNREASONABLE to assume that they are Muslim and this is the reason for their behaviour. That assertion is Islamophobic. I have been leered at by many white, British men. Men can be sexist no matter where they are from. Religion and culture has very little to do with it. And yes I find your prejudice VERY offensive.

It goes on in all cultures of course non, covering your hair and in some cases everything doesn't thankfully.

FFS Anthony so there is no rape, sexual violence, sexism, abuse of women in 'western Europe' then?

stop pretending the patriarchal oppression of women is some newly imported thing

I totally support what Anthony says. Are you for real ghostly

Vintage for some one who didn't want an argument you seem to be singling me out for a healthy dose of goad!

yes I can assure you I am very real thank you

Exactly ZZZZZ - honestly you'd think people coming from 'Arab' countries was some new thing - not something that has been happening for centuries

Anthony - I guess I'd better divorce my husband then, if you are right and our cultures don't mix. What shall we do with the kids, as they are half and half - split then down the middle.

Ignorance must be bliss.

What is imported ghosty is the institutionalised cultural acceptance that women are second class citizens with about as much worth as a lame donkey.

I'm not for a,minute suggesting that Europe (or specifically the UK) is some sort of feminist utopia but i doubt you will find many ethnically white British people who think it is acceptable for women to be groped (cologne and other cities) or for gangs of men to prey on vulnerable girls (Rochdale etc) or even to require women to obey the male head of their family. I certainly know no one who holds those beliefs.

Integration in any land little by little is wonderful. On mass not good.

Please refrain from using that stupid word to stop others having a view Ghosty.

yes Non I mean - after all these years it's obviously not worked - I think you should definitely let the children be adopted by some lovely white Christian folk - best save their souls while you can - I mean it's not like Christianity has any history of oppression, anti women sentiment or child abuse now

Honestly people are dim xxx

the institutionalised cultural acceptance that women are second class citizens yeah because we never had that before!

Sure there are individual cases where where integration has worked so well that there are children! However, the majority of immigrants from N Africa and Middle East and Pakistan etc have no desire to integrate, and so they don't.

wow ghosty, what a bitter statement.

ghosty you may live and move in circles where women are not allowed to do anything without permission from the male head of their family, but that is not and never has been my experience.

Ghosty you seem overly exercised by this thread! Best go and have a cup of tea or something and give your superior intellect a rest!

Calling people dim because they don't agree with you is a sure sign that your argument is pretty weak.

No I don;t but I have worked with 'Western' women who have been - I also work with many Muslim women who never have been

I'm sure there are some western women who are oppressed by their husbands and some western men who are oppressed by their wives. However that is not the cultural norm. Unfortunately the same can't be Sade for N Africa or Middle East Pakistan etc.

No I actually said people who think relationships like non's don't exist are dim - try to keep up :)

But if it helps to focus on individual words I post do carry on :)

I disagree that it means everything else I post is invalid but if it helps you win go ahead! It obviously matters

It's not the cultural norm in many Asian, Arabic or Muslim countries either - broadly Muslim countries have elected more female heads of state than the west for starters

There are massive issues for women - especially FGM in Christian African countries as well

Doesn't matter to me at all ghosty, I care not about "winning" an argument on mumsnet, and I like to see a few passive agreessive smileys, always makes my day.