To have another child and be done with it

[greenkitee]

I need to have a section with any other baby I have, I don't particularly like the thought of this and would love to avoid it but unfortunately cannot avoid it.

But I would like to start toning up my belly, should I just have another baby and tone up after? Or tone up for nothing as will need a section anyway

I'm currently on JSA, but I do work 16 hour so will be able to save from my work.

Should I just get child baring over and done with?

He doesn't sound like he's trying at all. Parents don't use the term 'babysit' only those who are it the child's parent, babysits.

Completely agree

not the child's parent

New phone and the letters seem to be in a different place!

No not everyone on benefits is lazy. Just these two.

He does a course consisting of a whole 12 hours a week, that's so consuming it means he can't work, can't look after his own child and apparently can't even look for a job.

Meanwhile, the OP contemplates having another child, when they can't support the one they've already got, because she doesn't want to fuck her stomach muscles up a couple of years down the line (but I'm being harsh, I think the OP needs to step back and think seriously about her future, alone or with DP. She won't, though).

But who cares? As someone up thread said, they can just pluck some more money off the magic money tree.

As for me, I'm not engaging with you anymore catsmeow.

I'm just trying to think of night job OP's DH could do - stacking shelves in supermarkets? McDonalds? Pub/bar work? I guess it depends where she lives.

Also, you haven't really answered the earlier question which was why do you want to have another child with a man who tells you you're overweight and can't be arsed to do any childcare for the 156 hours a week where he's not doing his course?

OP has already sneered at a job in McDonalds for the radio man, on page one.
They aren't trying very hard, are they?

Ziggy they're trying to get careers they enjoy. It's better to spend a little time to get qualifications now than get a shit job with no future.

Long term planning

Careers they enjoy? We can't all lounge around on benefits waiting for careers we enjoy to be handed to us, especially when there are children to support. Do you think most of us have the luxury of only doing what we enjoy?

Especially when the careers they think would like are quite ridiculous and highly unlikely to amount to anything at all.

they're trying to get careers they enjoy

Everyone wants careers they enjoy. However in the real world people have to work in jobs they don't enjoy in the mean time.

Let's face it radio jobs aren't exactly 2 a penny are they?

Long term planning is all fine and dandy and most people have them however the bills need paying now. DC need things now.

TheCats, why then would the op be considering another baby? If getting their feet onto the ladder of a rewarding career is so vital, why would she be considering another baby, not least by a man who calls her podgy and seems to think household chores including childcare is her responsibility.

they're trying to get careers they enjoy

That massively disingenuous towards the thousands of people in this country working their backsides off in dull, repetitive, soul destroying jobs just to keep a roof over their heads and put food on the table.

Not to mention that neither of them are actually getting any useful qualifications, so thats a moot point anyway.

They're not waiting for it to be handed to them. OP wanted to know whether it was better to start a career now or have her children and then start.

Right so people's argument is "I had to do a crap job I don't enjoy so you should too.". Bitterness. Right-o

You're talking rubbish. What career is she starting? What mythical qualifications are they getting, what long term planning?
In short, what the hell are you waffling about?

Ziggy myself and others are encouraging her to get qualifications. Her partner is attending a course to see if he can get s career he would enjoy.

Pike so I'm not allowed to debate without you following around being a GF? Right.

I'm done with this thread, catsmeow has it exactly on point. I only want another child, so in my head I was thibking I should have it now then go back to work. I don't want to study, I have no qualifications anyway so I wouldn't get into college.
Sitting on benefits NOT doing a course is lazy and waiting for things to be handed to him but he is trying, not to mention he just had a part time job over Christmas ffs.
And actually there isn't even a McDonalds in my city, so even if that was his desire its not available. Job centre have told us not to apply for jobs that are more than half hour from us

I already have a back breaking 16 hour job so I wouldn't class myself as lazy, a start is better than doing nothing surely?

I think I'll email Thai thread over to the good old Daily Mail. They will love it.

I am interested in why you think it's a good idea to have another baby with a man who belittles you and doesn't help out?

"I had to do a crap job I don't enjoy so you should too.". Bitterness. Right-o

Seriously, enough with the 'everyone is bitter stance.

It's called the difference between having a dream and reality.

What if they get these magical qualifications but can't get a job? Then what? Sit in wait until one comes along?

No one is saying don't get qualified etc but they need to work whilst doing it, not hang around for the dream opportunities to come their way.

Green ignore the smug people on here. Message me if you want some helpful non judgemental advice. I'm the same age as you with a young DS so it might help X