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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be having a bit of a sense of humour failure over this?

330 replies

Ellybellyboo · 31/01/2016 11:11

Sorry, this might be a bit long winded

I like 'creative' stuff - sewing, drawing, photography, etc - general art-ery fart-ery. The attic of our house had been converted to a huge room when we moved here so I use it as a kind of studio.

A few weeks ago I had a big birthday and DH arranged a surprise birthday party. I had been really clear that I absolutely did not want a party, I'm quite introverted and just didn't want a big hoo-ha.

He arranged one anyway. I was a bit miffed but grinned and bared it, and actually had an OK night.

In the weeks since, I've discovered that some of our friends had been up in my studio and played some oh so hilarious practical jokes. There was absolutely no need for them to go up there, there's no toilet or anything up there and the door at the bottom of the stairs was shut.

Nothing has been broken or damaged, but silly stuff like a cock and balls drawn onto every page of a sketch book, a huge quilt I've been making and had pinned out ready to be quilted has had all the pins removed, all my drawers and storage had been rearranged.

A couple of years ago I saved up and bought myself a DSLR camera. It wasn't cheap so I'm a bit precious about it. Yesterday we went out for a day out so thought I'd take my camera. Turned it on to find about a million photos of bare arses and I'm not very happy about it

It just feels a bit disrespectful, they shouldn't have been upstairs in the first place and I don't like that they've been messing with my stuff. The more time goes on and the more of this shit I find, the less impressed I am. The whole camera thing is the final straw and I'm having a bit of a sense of humour failure

OP posts:
laurierf · 31/01/2016 15:59

Actually five times as long to construct it probably!

pudcat · 31/01/2016 16:07

I hope you don't have kids OP because these kind of things happen every day in our house Not here they didn't. If anyone had touched my work there would be trouble. Are these sort of children who go on to trash houses at parties?
OP the guests have shown no respect for you and I would give then a wide berth.

rookiemere · 31/01/2016 16:15

Well DS is 9 and from the age of probably around 4 I'd have totally gone through him if he had done something destructive like this - not that he ever has, and below 4 I'd have made sure the door was shut on anything precious.

So I can see where the adults come from that think this is harmless fun if people wouldn't reprimand their DCs for damaging things.

I'd refuse to see them again and certainly wouldn't let them in my house, if your DH wants to see them well I'd be a bit sniffy about it as well.

Original poster
Ellybellyboo · 31/01/2016 16:15

Yes, I do have kids. 2 of them.

Accidents happen, but never anything like this.

And stuff got broken at the party - some glasses, a vase got knocked over and smashed, a bottle of wine got spilt, food dropped on the carpets, etc, etc, it happens, we cleared up, it was fine, all accidental, no one minds.

Going up there and pissing about with my stuff isn't accidental, and my kids know better

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 31/01/2016 16:16

It didn't happen in my house, either! The children wouldn't have done anything spiteful and mean like that. It's not just fiddling with something or doodling while you're on the phone. It's taking every bloody pin out, knowing that the poor OP will have to put them all back in again. It's ruining a sketch book. They had no right to even be in the room and everything they did was to spite the OP. Horrible.

peggyundercrackers · 31/01/2016 16:16

Going up there and pissing about with my stuff isn't accidental, and my kids know better

you sound a joy...

Veritat · 31/01/2016 16:18

Peggy, do you seriously think OP should have been joyous about her stuff being vandalised and several hours' worth of work undone? Or that it was accidental?

Plateofcrumbs · 31/01/2016 16:21

I'd hate to live in your house peggy if ruining other people's stuff is a daily occurrence! Sound horrendous.

CrockedPot · 31/01/2016 16:22

It's about respect, really.
Nothing to do with 'you sound a joy', which sounds like an utter piss take. You have stuff you love, and take care of, and your so called friends have ridden rough shod all over it. I would never deliberately piss off my friends like that, and would expect the same consideration for mine. Get new mates.

Veritat · 31/01/2016 16:22

I hope you don't have kids OP because these kind of things happen every day in our house.

Fortunately my children don't go in for spitefully vandalising other people's work. And even if badly brought-up children do this, it hardly excuses adults.

OP, I hope your DH told his "friends" what arseholes they are?

TheExMotherInLaw · 31/01/2016 16:22

That is atrocious behaviour. I know how long it takes to pin a quilt.
They do need to be told, or they'll carry on doing it, and do irreversible damage another time. It must feel like being burgled.
This isn't a scenario where a sense of humour need apply.

chemenger · 31/01/2016 16:24

Yes Peggy I'm not sure which part of the sentence you are questioning, because all of it looks perfectly reasonable to me. Maybe you and Constance can get together to play some hilarious jokes on people. And my kids also know better that to interfere with craft projects, because they know that other people's things should be respected.

Hulababy · 31/01/2016 16:30

I can just imagine how cross you are.

Sketch pads are not cheap.
The unpicking of the quilt is unpleasant.
The rearranging of your personal stuff is not on.
The use of your expensive camera by dunk people is out of order. I've an expensive dslr and am equally quite precious of not - I'd be really cross f someone was messing about with or without asking and whilst probably drunk!

Fadingmemory · 31/01/2016 16:32

Utterly disrespectful and wrong. Yeah, ok with the sketchbook (but the general obsession with golf balls and gristle puzzles me). Tampering with your artwork is beyond the pale. FFS

Sallystyle · 31/01/2016 16:32

Jesus christ.. do some people really have children who do stuff like this on a regular basis? Shock

amarmai · 31/01/2016 16:33

maybe get a lock on the door for that area. yanbu,op. What's the deal with your dh and you ? Has he any reason to be resentful? wd he have been a part of this in some way? What does he think of the vandalism?

flippinada · 31/01/2016 16:37

I'm genuinely baffled that someone would bring kids up to think this kind of behaviour (vandalism, damaging other people's work /property) is ok. I suppose some people must though or wouldn't happen. I don't get it myself.

Kewcumber · 31/01/2016 16:37

you sound a joy...

Oh the irony

If DS deliberately messed about with something of mine I'd taken the time to do and I had to do it again, he would know about it and it wouldn't be joyful.

He isn;t a toddler and neither are these people. I thought people grew out of the "Oh I'm mad, me!" but apparently not.

Topseyt · 31/01/2016 16:38

ExConstance, what a totally stupid post.

Not wanting her studio invaded and her hard work on the quilt undone doesn't make OP a killjoy.

Also, I hate parties and always did. A surprise party would be my idea of hell. I will be fifty this summer and will be making it very clear that nothing like that is to be organised.

I wouldn't in the end have put the arse photos up on social media. I rarely use it anyway, only to message and communicate with my student DD1 and a few other family members I rarely otherwise see. It's the sort of thing I ruminate on and draw back from as they are vengeful ideas. It wouldn't get the point across. These arseholes would see it as furthering their joke anyway.

MaisyMooMoo · 31/01/2016 16:40

Anyone who thinks this behaviour is acceptable and funny are probably the type who sneak off and snoop in people's bedrooms at parties.

AnyFucker · 31/01/2016 16:40

if my kids did this to other people's property, I would consider my parenting had failed

Hulababy · 31/01/2016 16:41

I can honestly say that there is no way I'd want a surprise birthday and no, I'm not lying and wouldn't be secretly pleased about it. It's just not in my nature to want to be centre of attention. I prefer to celebrate my birthday with a small gathering of my choosing in a quieter manner.

I have no issue worth those who like the big party thigh but it's just not for me.

Fortunately my dh would know better.

And no damaging people's property, messing up and using others things, etc - not quite funny in the slightest.

Even my young teen would no better than to behave like that!

diddl · 31/01/2016 16:41

Well hopefully your husband couldn't have imagined that this would happen.

No need to throw him a party though as it sounds like this was for him!

Hulababy · 31/01/2016 16:46

I use my camera for work purposes - school with small children.
I would be furious about the photos - that kind of image being accidentally left of my camera could cost me my job!

GeekLove · 31/01/2016 16:46

I think you would be not overreacting in the slightest of you where to say tha tyou where horrified to find that your possessions were vandalised on FB (or any other social media you use) and that your next communication with the culprits is a bill for damsged items.