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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be having a bit of a sense of humour failure over this?

330 replies

Ellybellyboo · 31/01/2016 11:11

Sorry, this might be a bit long winded

I like 'creative' stuff - sewing, drawing, photography, etc - general art-ery fart-ery. The attic of our house had been converted to a huge room when we moved here so I use it as a kind of studio.

A few weeks ago I had a big birthday and DH arranged a surprise birthday party. I had been really clear that I absolutely did not want a party, I'm quite introverted and just didn't want a big hoo-ha.

He arranged one anyway. I was a bit miffed but grinned and bared it, and actually had an OK night.

In the weeks since, I've discovered that some of our friends had been up in my studio and played some oh so hilarious practical jokes. There was absolutely no need for them to go up there, there's no toilet or anything up there and the door at the bottom of the stairs was shut.

Nothing has been broken or damaged, but silly stuff like a cock and balls drawn onto every page of a sketch book, a huge quilt I've been making and had pinned out ready to be quilted has had all the pins removed, all my drawers and storage had been rearranged.

A couple of years ago I saved up and bought myself a DSLR camera. It wasn't cheap so I'm a bit precious about it. Yesterday we went out for a day out so thought I'd take my camera. Turned it on to find about a million photos of bare arses and I'm not very happy about it

It just feels a bit disrespectful, they shouldn't have been upstairs in the first place and I don't like that they've been messing with my stuff. The more time goes on and the more of this shit I find, the less impressed I am. The whole camera thing is the final straw and I'm having a bit of a sense of humour failure

OP posts:

VoldysGoneMouldy · 01/02/2016 14:46

This is utterly horrible. I have a craft room (read: box room, with yarn in it) and often block out my projects in there. If anyone went in and damaged things like these people have, I'd have flipped.

I'm sorry they were so disrespectful OP.

HelpfulChap · 01/02/2016 14:50

No-one would do that a piece of my DWs work (even if they were that pathetically inclined) because they would know what my reaction would be.

Your DH needs to start laying the law down.

ouryve · 01/02/2016 14:52

I'd be stottin' mad. That's no way to treat someone else's house.

SonyaAtTheSamovar · 01/02/2016 14:54

I wouldn't send an email. They might find that funny in itself.

No I'd just put them out of my life. Although with them being your dh's friends it is a bit more tricky. I have stopped hosting one guy as he was obnoxious to me when drunk. I am good friends with his wife and my Dh still goes out with him occasionally but I just no longer invite him to ours.

I was going to say something then realised the moment had passed. So I just phased him out of home visits! Easy now although I was really upset at the time.

DinosaursRoar · 01/02/2016 15:01

email with less emotion, if they are trying to upset you, then this just gives them more satisfaction a simple "We have uncovered more of your 'hilarous' pranks today. Please can I have a list of all the things damaged, messed up or destroyed in my wife's studio during her birthday party by some/all of you, so I can put them right or replace items that can't be fixed as swiftly as possible." from your DH should be enough - they can draw their own conclusions as if you want to remain their friends after that.

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 01/02/2016 15:08

Just read through and am seething on your behalf OP. I'm usually regarded as having a good sense of humour and being up for a laugh, but this all comes across as vindictive and not funny in the slightest.

It's not only the interference with your stuff and your work, it's invading a space that wasn't part of the party and absenting themselves from the event for so long just to create havoc. They're nasty vandals.

Original poster

Ellybellyboo · 01/02/2016 15:19

I think the issue with them is, they genuinely don't see the harm in what they've done. They haven't actually broken or damaged anything and getting them to understand is a fools errand.

I've now spoken to DH and he's going to email them all.

OP posts:

Janeymoo50 · 01/02/2016 15:21

Now that is a "joke" that was taken far, too far. Poor you, I think it's awful. I might have chuckled at one rude picture (although would have been miffed at people in my studio) but they went overboard (no doubt after drink had been taken, not that I'm making excuses).

HSMMaCM · 01/02/2016 15:24

I would not find this funny. I would send them a bill for the most expensive loveliest sketch book I could find. I would also say that I lost money on a quilt I was commissioned to make for someone because it was delivered late due to having to re-pin it. I would also drop a comment about the damage to the lens on my camera.

Once they apologise profusely and offer to pay for the damage, you can decide if you want to let them off.

This is not acceptable behaviour at all.

NotNowBono · 01/02/2016 15:25

but they have damaged things. They ruined a sketchpad. They damaged your quilting project. They also destroyed hours of your precious spare time that you won't get back.

LagunaBubbles · 01/02/2016 15:35

I do despair of the lack of joie de vivre of the OP and if she wants to live out her days in an attic being antisocial and grumpy so be it

You might be older than the OP Constance but you're certainly not wiser if you haven't realised yet that everyone is different - what you see as being anti-social the OP sees (as I do) as a relaxing hobby. It must be really difficult for you functioning in life when you expect everyone to think like you.

LagunaBubbles · 01/02/2016 15:38

Elly is there something wrong with these people (apart from being stupid I mean), that they genuinely dont understand because "nothing is damaged". And I would disagree with that anyway, I think they have caused damage.

ouryve · 01/02/2016 15:56

Remind me never to invite ExConstance to any of the parties that I won't be having because I'd rather poke rusty teaspoons in my eyes.

Original poster

Ellybellyboo · 01/02/2016 16:09

No, I think it's just stupid and actually, when they're not drunk and doing stupid shit like this they're alright blokes

It's 'just paper'. 'Yeah, we took the pins out but we didn't damage the actual quilt' etc, etc, etc

They obviously haven't put 2 and 2 together and realised that if it took them ages to take the pins out it took me fucking ages to put them in. Twice!

DH has emailed them now so I look forward (not) to finding out what else they've done

OP posts:

middlings · 01/02/2016 16:15

I used to have some friends like that.

Note the use of the past tense. We all have busy lives and things have just drifted.

Complete pain OP. Hope it doesn't take too long to sort it all out.

ouryve · 01/02/2016 16:18

My secret, never carried out but definitely dreamed about revenge would go something like this.

I'd find a couple of tins - small tobacco tins, maybe, but they'd have to have lids that are really sticky, so that when they do open, half the contents jump out.

I'd fill the tins with pins, glitter and something noxious like white pepper.

I'd send them a tin each. With insufficient postage, of course, so they have to go and collect them.

vladthedisorganised · 01/02/2016 16:37

I was thinking similar ouryve.

Except my conversation went a little bit like: "You found the dog shit in your car?? Oh, how we laughed! Don't tell me you don't find that a little bit amusing? You are getting sooooo uptight in your old age - it's just a car FFS, it can be cleaned, can't it? Scratch? What scratch? Oh, the "STEVE IS A WANKER" one across the bonnet? Soz, I was a bit pissed but you've got to admit it was soooo funnneeeee - can't you see the funny side? It's not like it's damaged, a bit of T-Cut will sort that out in no time! Oh mate, I should take a photo, I really should, your face is such a picture...

Hm, it's not quite so funny when it's you on the receiving end, is it?"

In real life I would probably insist they don't come to my house again, though; and I like Dinosaurs' take on the email.

rookiemere · 01/02/2016 16:48

They sound a right pair of comedians OP, I'm freshly outraged on your behalf with the knitting needles.

I know people a bit like these. I give them a wide berth. I hope your DH's email was frank and to the point, not jocular as in "ho ho ho I do wonder what other jolly pranks you two have pulled ".

One drawing in the middle of the pad would have been mildly humorous as would a couple of jolly photos. But the extent that they've gone in my mind puts them in the bracket of people I could never trust if the chips were down and I'd keep well away from them.

Roussette · 01/02/2016 16:50

I wouldn't email. You say that the value is minimal, it's the disrespect of them. If you email they will all gang together and piss themselves laughing because bullies stick together.

Far more powerful just to ignore and cold shoulder them. Leave them wondering, although they'll know why and individually some of them may possibly feel uneasy and regret it.

Original poster

Ellybellyboo · 01/02/2016 16:59

Yes, I've got lots of revenge scenarios going round in my head.

In reality, if I retaliate they'll see it as a green light to do more of this shite and I don't have the time, energy or imagination to win.

I'm just going to let them get on with it, give them a wide berth and never invite them to my house again.

OP posts:

Roussette · 01/02/2016 17:02

Perfect Elly

CaptainCrunch · 01/02/2016 17:04

I think you're probably quite right to do exactly that Ellybellyboo. Whatever you did they wouldn't "get" the fact that they had behaved like irresponsible, nasty dicks. Avoiding them like the plague in future is definitely the best course of action.

One day these arseholes will "prank" the wrong person and will be shitting veneers for weeks when the victim knocks their teeth down the back of their throat.

girlywhirly · 01/02/2016 17:08

It will be interesting to find out in the future whether they lose friends over their stupid behaviour. I can't imagine that many people would just laugh off an invasion of their privacy and damage and continue to allow them into their homes. After all, if a DC's friend did the same we just wouldn't have them in again, would we?

originalmavis · 01/02/2016 17:11

Were they male or female? Just out of interest.

Original poster

Ellybellyboo · 01/02/2016 17:22

Both men.

They are both good friends with each other. DH met friend 1 through a hobby/volunteering they do, he has kids the same age as ours so we got to know his wife and kids. DH was introduced to friend 2 by friend 1, he got to know him, again we met his wife and kids, etc. hung out together, etc, etc, they've got to know our other friends

OP posts:

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