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Original poster

To not want to shut my dog away?

463 replies

NotthespecialONE · 30/01/2016 14:34

Bit of background - DD has had a bit of a rough time at school lately, one girl has gone out of her way to exclude my daughter from the group of girls she's friends with - generally making my dds life very unpleasant at school.
Also she has found it very hard when a new sibling came along a few months ago, she was very jealous and frustrated and her behaviour deteriorated at home.

On the recommendation of her school we involved SS to get her some help, they put in place a wishes and feelings programme for my dd where they allocated her a worker to see her twice a week, one visit at home and one outside of the home environment - first week of visits started this past week.
Lady called me to arrange a day and time for first home visit and asked if I have a dog, I said yes I do and she said the dog would have to be out of the way while she was round as she got bitten by a dog when she was a child and is petrified of them, while I don't doubt that must of been absolutely horrific for her I'm now in a dilemma cos I have no idea how I'm supposed to shut my dog away and to be honest I don't want to have to shut my dog away.
On the first visit I put my dog with my ds in his bedroom but at times I could hear my dog scratching and whining at the door to get out! He's never been shut away anywhere so it must of been very confusing for him! Second home visit is arranged for this Tuesday, ds has a football match after school so won't be home to have the dog in his bedroom, I don't want to shut my dog away in any room on his own.
I want my dd to continue on the programme as she has really enjoyed the first week and hopefully it's going to really beneficial for her but what am I going to do with my dog on her visits?

OP posts:
ShmooBooMoo · 30/01/2016 17:19

Maryz: lots of families have pets (and they can be therapeutic for children). Most people have a room where they could put a dog for an hour. Most people don't have a way of completely silencing their dog. This SW shouldn't be in her position if her phobia is this severe. Sounds like the woman can't focus on her job - a very important one - for fear a dog is going to spring from behind the sofa or something. You would think a professional person would tackle their phobia rather than let it continue and impact all aspects of their life (and the lives of others!)

tabulahrasa · 30/01/2016 17:20

crate training in a weekend, though I'd be surprised if it takes as long as that if he's had one before.

ShmooBooMoo · 30/01/2016 17:22

Headofthehive55:

I agree that some children are more sensitive than others, but it is well-established that adults pass on their fears to their children. If this SW has a child and they pass a dog on the street, SW's fear is going to transmit to the child and the child is going to believe there really is something to fear. Behaviours are learned.

Maryz · 30/01/2016 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShmooBooMoo · 30/01/2016 17:23

Also, Head: you dislike dogs but are you terrified of them to the extent you can't even bear to hear one? Dislike and abject terror are very different.

Branleuse · 30/01/2016 17:24

if these visits are going to be twice a week, then doggy needs to be in a crate in the bedroom so he cant scratch the doors and leap up at them. Leave him with a kong toy or make sure hes walked and tired out before the visit.

Ive had dogs for years, and its pretty standard to have to shut them away when a health professional visits. You cant do anything about the noise, but hopefully if dog is crated AND in another room, then the SW will be reassured.

The most important thing is your dd gets the help she needs and deserves. The dog will have to put up with it

Muskateersmummy · 30/01/2016 17:24

I appreciate wanting to keep the routine but would it not be worth it even temporarily whilst you do some crate training? Even if it was for a couple of weeks?

You are going to need to find some sort of compromise OP x

OttiliaVonBCup · 30/01/2016 17:25

All this talk about the "helping" OPs DD is bordering on nonsense.

Oh she's there to help. No, she's there to do her job, a job she's paid to do.Her phobia is affecting her job performance.

And it seems OP is rightfully worried about how the SW phobia affects the session, so no, she's not putting the dog ahead of her daughter's needs.

having said that, I would suggest buying a kong and shutting the dog for increasing periods of time, there is still time until Tuesday, in the name of a compromise.

SarfEast1cated · 30/01/2016 17:27

To be honest Not the crate as a 'fun place with a bone and toys' could be a really good thing. When you baby starts crawling, your dog knowing he has a 'safe place' could be a real boon. For this session could the dogwalker just take the dog to his house for an hour?

Iusedtobecarmen · 30/01/2016 17:28

I agree that dogs should adapt to all situations. I leave my dog sometimes and of course when I go out.
I dont think this thread realky is about dog training though is it? Its about a sw with such an extreme phobia she cant hear a dog. Doesnt anyone agree it's not the ops problem?

gamerchick · 30/01/2016 17:28

I was wondering the same thing as maryz your experience carmen? How did you manage to get the perfect early intervention for your child by picking and choosing/demanding? I'm really all ears because we're obviously missing a trick here since these services are gold and not easy to secure.

ShmooBooMoo · 30/01/2016 17:29

Iusedtobecarmen: I totally agree with you!

Maryz · 30/01/2016 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hellochicken · 30/01/2016 17:30

I'm baffled by some of replies, having said that lots of people get dog bites but don't end up with as bad a phobia as this lady. Maybe she does need some help with it.

I do home visits and I'd say 95% of people put the dog out of sight/don't come into contact with me, before they answer the door to me. I don't ask for this, they just are imo reasonable/polite. The remaining people have to be asked, and seem miffed even thought the dog might be trying to jump up on me WHILST I AM PHYSICALLY EXAMINING someone.
They have rang and asked me to visit, I am only there for around 20 mins, but they still can't see it isn't appropriate.

Anyway in response to OP could you ask if she is free to make future appointments on the mornings when you have the dog walker?

Nottodaythankyouorever · 30/01/2016 17:30

I was wondering the same thing as maryz your experience carmen? How did you manage to get the perfect early intervention for your child by picking and choosing/demanding? I'm really all ears because we're obviously missing a trick here since these services are gold and not easy to secure.

I was wondering the same tbh. Any tips would be welcome

tabulahrasa · 30/01/2016 17:32

" Its about a sw with such an extreme phobia she cant hear a dog. Doesnt anyone agree it's not the ops problem?"

It is the OP's problem though because it's a hell of a lot easier to either train the dog or get someone to take it out for an hour than it is to pick and choose SW's.

If you're getting support for a child - you grab it, because you won't be offered it again.

Maryz · 30/01/2016 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJayy · 30/01/2016 17:33

Well if the was so worried about the sessions she would have contacted social services to say the worker wasnt right for her dd why didnt she do that because a cowering anxious person isnt going to do her child who has issues and her own anxiety any good.

honkinghaddock · 30/01/2016 17:33

Is this a sw or support worker? Twice a week seems a lot for a sw.

Muskateersmummy · 30/01/2016 17:36

could you ask if she is free to make future appointments on the mornings when you have the dog walker?

This seems a sensible solution

Muskateersmummy · 30/01/2016 17:37

Anyway in response to OP could you ask if she is free to make future appointments on the mornings when you have the dog walker?

This seems like a sensible option

ThirtyNineWeeks · 30/01/2016 17:37

I don't have a phobia regarding dogs, but let me tell you, if I was working in the community in any capacity, and a dog was scratching and barking throughout my efforts to work with an emotionally unbalanced child I would be fucking livid. And to be quite frank, OP, if it meant selling the fucking mutt just so your daughter's needs can be properly attended to by this professional, I would do it.

What planet are you on when you're wringing your hands over a dog when your dd is suffering?

Original poster
NotthespecialONE · 30/01/2016 17:38

Maryz - there would be no putting up with my dog! My dog isn't a high needs/energy dog that would be jumping up or yapping at her feet! He would quite happily leave her alone and sleep in his bed, he wouldn't bat an eyelid with her being here! The only reason he is whining is because he is being put in a situation he isn't used to and obviously isn't going to adapt to it immediately!

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 30/01/2016 17:39

It sounds like a family support worker of some sort.

RhiWrites · 30/01/2016 17:40

Add extra dog walking. Pay your son or one of his friends to take the dog with them to the park.

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