To not want to shut my dog away?

[NotthespecialONE]

Bit of background - DD has had a bit of a rough time at school lately, one girl has gone out of her way to exclude my daughter from the group of girls she's friends with - generally making my dds life very unpleasant at school.
Also she has found it very hard when a new sibling came along a few months ago, she was very jealous and frustrated and her behaviour deteriorated at home.

On the recommendation of her school we involved SS to get her some help, they put in place a wishes and feelings programme for my dd where they allocated her a worker to see her twice a week, one visit at home and one outside of the home environment - first week of visits started this past week.
Lady called me to arrange a day and time for first home visit and asked if I have a dog, I said yes I do and she said the dog would have to be out of the way while she was round as she got bitten by a dog when she was a child and is petrified of them, while I don't doubt that must of been absolutely horrific for her I'm now in a dilemma cos I have no idea how I'm supposed to shut my dog away and to be honest I don't want to have to shut my dog away.
On the first visit I put my dog with my ds in his bedroom but at times I could hear my dog scratching and whining at the door to get out! He's never been shut away anywhere so it must of been very confusing for him! Second home visit is arranged for this Tuesday, ds has a football match after school so won't be home to have the dog in his bedroom, I don't want to shut my dog away in any room on his own.
I want my dd to continue on the programme as she has really enjoyed the first week and hopefully it's going to really beneficial for her but what am I going to do with my dog on her visits?

When people don't want to change their toddler's routine to accommodate some adult extended family member's wish for all the extended family to be present at an 8pm restaurant meal birthday celebration 3 hours drive from home they are generally told by the MN majority not to be a martyr to their child... but apparently a dog's routine must not be changed to accommodate professional help for a troubled child...

Once properly crate trained, the crate wouldn't need to stay in the same place but given the urgency I would train where you intend to have the crate whilst she is there.

She's not scared of hearing a dog though is she? She's scared of it getting to her. One clawing and scratching upstairs would freak me right out too. I'd have to ask if it had really been put away or not and every time it started or someone ran upstairs I'd wonder if it was about to be released or jump on me. And I'd think "for fucks sake, you seriously can't put your dog in another room for a few measly hours while I do my job? Is this important to you or not?"

If someone had a severe allergy to peanuts or something, you wouldn't purposefully wipe them all over the couch before they got there. You'd probably double-check there were none around so they could get in, do the work, and leave.

Even if she could just "get therapy and get over it" (hah, yes, it's available and that easy for everyone) the big problem is that every single dog owner, without fail, loves their pet as though it was a person and is blind to anything wrong they do or could do. That means you can never rely on "oh but he's lovely and would never hurt you!" I was bitten fucking hard by one who was "just playing" and "had never done anything like that before".

So for all we know she could have developed the phobia while working with someone's precious bundle of fur who turned out not to be so well-controlled....

(Btw I know the peanut allergy isn't quite the right comparison, but I'm trying to point out the absurdity here when you've finally got some much-needed help!)

Lets make it clear. If I did need professional help for one of my.dc iid be grateful for the support. Thats providing she was actually supporting us and not leaning on.me for support with her dog phobia

That's an incredible leap of logic.

I would not expect anyone to ring me in advance to check about my dog. Thats bizarre. It is.

It really isn't bizarre at all. It happens a lot when people have problematic animals. OPs dog might not be vicious but clearly the SW has a phobia of dogs.

However, I cant lie, I do find it irritating when adults are petrified of pets. And I.dont warm to people who dont like dogs but thats just me. Most people I like and get on with are similar I suppose.

This explains your stance completely, can you not see that you don't have an objective perspective because of this?

As I said though, I would put a dog out the room out of courtesy.
If this wasn't enough and she was disturbed by the noise of the dog or worried the dog might escape then I wouldn't be happy

So fine, have a bitch when she's gone.

I would say sorry hes out of the way and cant get in dont worry but thats it. If she still was distracted then I wouod say perhaps it might be best if we rethink the situation.

So you would risk jeopardising your child's treatment because you think everyone should like dogs?

I would not pay a person to take the dog away (not necessary) and I would not implement special training just for this unusual, well unique situation. I would only retrain the dog if it would be beneficial generally.

Surely it is generally beneficial that a dog be able to be in a separate room without getting very distressed, if not for the visitors then for the dog.

Im more concerned you have a social worker for this issue.
I wish you had posted about this before.
Never get Social Services involved in your life unless it's a life or death situation.
You will never get rid of them and they are renowned liars.
Ask for copies of all their reports on you. Im not going over the top its a fact.

It is clear to me that Carmen a) prefers dogs to humans b) despises 'entitled' social workers c) has no children.

OP why did the school suggest a Social Worker? And what does the social worker do when at your house. Twice a week seems excessive.

Im not going over the top

Yes you are!!

She's a support worker Flat - SS referred us to an organisation that put this programme in place for DD.

is it actually social services or a family support worker?

Bubbles

You will never get rid of them and they are renowned liars.

ahh, I had a support worker for a year. It was really useful.

I hope it helps your dd

This SW is having an extreme reaction, and I'd actually be concerned that she is able to focus on her work if all she is thinking about is where the dog is. If the dog is locked up and silent, she's still going to be jumping at every perceived noise wondering if the dog is escaping or anywhere near her. Even sending the dog off with a dog walker will probably mean endless questions about what time the dog is returning, are they sure they're not back before she leaves, etc.

I'd be fine accommodating a guest/worker to my house by locking up my dogs, but I'd have little patience for the absolute paranoia about their whereabouts. A confirmation that the dog is confined should be the end of the subject.

The SW is going to be an important person in the OP's daughters life. I'd be genuinely worried that she would end up passing on the dog phobia to her. I actually told child health nurse visitor to never return to my house because she wouldn't stop going on that my dogs were going to 'maul' my newborn son. Some people just aren't suited to a career that involves going in to people's homes.

I still don't understand why the dog cannot have an extra walk from someone when the SW is there?

It really does sound like you are determined to make this as difficult as possible.

OP thats good then. You have it set out with support worker. Better than a social worker. Hopefully.

And who is going to give him an extra walk little? I could possibly have done it myself but I have to be present for the visits and from 4.30 to 6pm I'm busy with my baby and making the dcs dinner. Ds could possibly do it occasionally but he is involved in a lot of after school activities and I wouldn't particularly want my ds out in the cold for 90 minutes walking the dog. I would find it pretty hard to find someone to commit to walking my dog every week without fail for the foreseeable future.
I already have a plan in place so drop the extra walk crap!

Bubbles
I have had the misfortune to work with them in a professional capacity in the past. Essex County Council. The social workers are a disgrace. They are a law unto themselves. They are renowned liars and their reports are full of untruths and they constantly twist the truth. They make peoples lives a misery. I know ive seen it.

Littleftie
Who is the 'someone' who can take the dog for a walk?
You are not thinking straight

So sorry OP - I thought maybe you had some friends who might help.

I cannot imagine why that wouldn't be the case.

You are really defensive and aggressive so I am out.

I hope your DD gets the support she needs.

It's a sweet Cavalier, not a fighting Pitbull.

Littleleftie
The op is not getting aggressive. You are being over sensitive. Get a grip woman

Apologies if I came across as aggressive towards you little.
I do have friends but not any that could commit on a weekly basis of walking my dog at that time and on potentially different days of the week.

Punkrocker.
O.dont need shiw anyone any respect. Im a health professional myself. Id be embarrassed if I turned up at someones house and grilled them over where the dog was rather than concentrate who id been paid to support/care for. In actual fact id expect to be complained about in all honesty.