AIBU to not breastfeed?

[Stephieee]

DD is yet to arrive, but I never breastfed with DS and my goodness, I was made to feel terrible about it! I've told people that I'm not going to, this time around, but their views haven't changed :(

thirtynine there's nothing wrong with choosing to ff when bf is painful for you, or for any reason!

I'm a much happier person now I'm not in pain

ThirtyNine this isn't giving up.

Stop beating yourself up and embrace what you have done, which is amazing.

Are you OK?

As long as you're planning to feed your child by another suitable means (eg: bottles of formula) YANBU not to breastfeed.

Thanks so much for responding. The most incredible thing has happened. I found some nipple shields from two years ago and I'm actually feeding almost pain-free. It is such a miraculous result I am now doubting that the baby is actually feeding - could he be simply using the tip of the shield as a dummy? Surely he would be screaming with frustration if he wasn't getting at the milk? I just laid him down and he puked a scintilla of milk so he must be getting, right?

This is an amazing, amazing result. Please tell me it's not some cruel hoax...

I'm very pro choice on feeding - do whatever works, bf should be supported and ff is great if it works for mum and baby, I ff my dd.

However it isn't true that ff has no consequences. My partner has Crohn's disease and his consultant suggested that bf is better for babies/ff is more likely to result in digestive problems like crohns than bf. I did read some research on it once. By chance I saw some story in the press earlier this week saying bf more would save lots of money and some lives to cancer as it reduces mums risk of breast cancer and ovarian cancer and it reduces babies risk of cancer. Obviously this is at a population level, but to say ff has no consequences is like putting your head in the sand.

news.sky.com/story/1631785/breastfeeding-could-cut-child-deaths-study

So if my DC2 is poorly when born and in NICU/SCBU, then people would advise me not to bother expressing colostrum for them? That formula is just as good and it would be a waste of my time to express?

Culture
They have to promote bf. If for some reason you ff your sick child it would not be a problem? You might be great ful for formula of you could not bf in that scenario.

My DS was sick when he was born and did have formula when I was also too poorly to try and feed him. Formula is a great invention as a safe food for babies. But if it's just as good as breastmilk why did the midwives want me to hand express colostrum as soon as I could? Why did they want me to express as much as I could so they could give that milk to him too? It would have been much easier for everyone if he had just been given 100% formula.

wonders what the anti-BFs would do if formula hadn't been invented yet/weren't in such plentiful supply

well my babies would probably be dead.

no man out of feeding or expressing ever resulted in a full meal fir dd1. and as for dd2, well I'm. not sure I even had any milk.

so, I am grateful fir formula which transformed all our lives in my house. it's fab stuff.

Culture - formula is not just as good as breastmilk, that's why the hospital wanted you to express for your DC in NICU. Those on here who say it is are just trying to justify their choices to formula feed. In fact, breastmilk is even more important to those babies who end up in NICU (as their little bodies are even more delicate) - if you can't express, the milk bank can give you donated milk. As I said before, if you choose to formula feed then fine, that is your choice, but own your decision. Don't go around bashing breastmilk and making up lies about it (saying formula is just as good as it) just to defend your choice.

This is not about making mothers feel bad or guilty for their feeding choices, it is just stating a fact. The insults to breastfeeders on this thread are shocking - I have not seen one post from a person promoting breastmilk that insults a mother who feeds formula. And a statement of fact is not an insult!

Yy coconut.

Women have a choice and that's great, as long as a child is fed safely then BF or FF is down to them. No different to choosing weaning diet, vaccinations etc.

When my oldest was at pre school there was an over zealous BF mother on the committee, she'd have driven every new mother to formula given the BF lectures she dished out and it's health claims. Both she, dad and the older children were all over weight so the BF health elements didn't last long. Healthy eating is more than just milk.

As for donor milk, there's not a chance I'd take that over formula.

Formula IS donor milk - donated by a bunch of cows from their cow breasts.
Donor milk is human milk, donated by a bunch of women from their breasts.

Why would you take donor animal milk over donor human milk?

Not having a go, I'm genuinely curious

Wrt donor breast milk, surely there isn't a huge supply, I thought it was mainly reserved for poorly and premature babies.

Cows milk is a normal part of most of our diets as are lots of other animal products so I don't think people mind that it's cows milk, it would be introduced as part of food at 6 months anyway.

I would not take human donor milk either. Cross contamination can occur with anything. And that includes donor milk. I would have formula over that any day.

I didn't drive back then. donor milk would have meant constantly forking out in taxis 10 pound a time to the hospital and back, the constant worry I'd make a.mistake storing it or drop the last bottle and be unable to get any more til the following day etc

wouldn't take that over a 20 min walk to town where I could have my pick of formulas.

I couldn't see how the hospital could ensure dd2 got dairy free bm.

besides, I'd not take my child into.that cess pit unless they were actually ill

hospitals are not for well children..its not safe

Hi everyone - huge huge apologies for the delay from us here. We did check the OP out behind the scenes, and we do have concerns the thread was started to goad.

Would you all like the thread to stay up to continue the discussion?

My baby was in NICU and no one asked me to express colostrum.

I did bf him and express once he was out of NICU but no one asked me to. And he was very very ill

Personally Becca, I don't think GF threads should be left to stand as it only encourages them. And it's not as if there aren't any more breastfeeding vs formula threads if people are googling for reference.....!

But others may feel differently

Becca I think this threads interesting to be honest

I think this thread has been awful. I agree with Thomas. It's not like there isn't a bajillion other threads exactly the same. O P is long gone anyway.

Really? I find it interesting reading people's honest opinions even if they're a bit rude

Definitely remove the thread. It's become pretty nasty and unpleasant to read.