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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my baby is absolutely not too old to be breastfeeding

309 replies

NoCapes · 29/01/2016 21:15

I know what you're thinking, this is going to be about somebody breastfeeding a toddler or pre-schooler and there will be a bit of a debate ...
Well, my baby is 12 fucking weeks old! Hmm

Having tea and a scone in M&S cafe this afternoon when an older lady walking past, not realising he was feeding, stopped to coo at him and when she realised he was fucking about and absolutely not feeding feeding she looked disgusted, tutted and walked away saying to her husband (presumably) that "that baby was far too old to be doing that I mean, really!" Causing a few people around to look over and see what I was doing to my baby

I was shocked and alone at the time (mum was in the queue) and I didn't say anything, just sunk into my chair a little bit
Telling DP when I got in and I'm actually ashamed to say that I had a little cry, and now I'm annoyed that I was upset about it
Stupid woman

AIBU to think - what the fuckity fuck, he is absolutely no where near 'too old' and to be really fucking annoyed with myself that I didn't say anything and that I let her upset me?

OP posts:
FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 21:23

Ridemesideways
Yes it is wrong in my eyes. Its not necessary at that age. The child should have enough vitamins from a healthy balanced diet. This is not about your child. Its about you and your comforting needs. Sorry to be harsh but its true.
Whilst im all for BF and also BF babies in public at this age its not necessary.
Just out of interest do you do this in front of your family, friends and in public? Wondering what their true reaction to this is.

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 21:24

Ridemesideways
Yes it is wrong in my eyes. Its not necessary at that age. The child should have enough vitamins from a healthy balanced diet. This is not about your child. Its about you and your comforting needs. Sorry to be harsh but its true.

Booboostwo · 30/01/2016 21:37

FlatontheHill it's feeding milk not smoking! It is a necessary part of a healthy diet which can only be partialy substituted for by other dairy products (maternal milk has antibodies that are not found in any other species milk). There is something even more wrong with your thinking if you are disturbed at the idea that mothers may have a need to comfort children. Should we drop hugs and kisses on the grounds that they indulge the parent's comforting needs as well? Clearly all these parents attempting to comfort through hugs, kisses and beast feeding are doing something wrong aren't they and we'd be much better off with parents who have no sympathy for their DCs suffering.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 21:45

Boob
Are you joking. Going over the top maybe?
At nearly 3 years old a child does not need breast milk.
And if a child at nearly 3 years old needs a breast stuck in its mouth to comfort it then yes that is not normal. It might be on MN but in real life it is not.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 21:50

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide....

To be fair minipirate is 8 and If i thought it would help him i'd still breastfeed. you can't blame people.

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit · 30/01/2016 21:52

FlatOnTheHill

The UK has the worst BF record in the world.

You don't think it's normal simply because you're not used to seeing it.

But if you look at the whole world, and what people have done for centuries, then you are the one with the attitude that isn't the "norm".

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 22:00

PirateJones
Minipirate is 8 and if it helped him you would still breast feed Confused Do you live in Africa? Where there is terrible famine. Its ridiculous.
I breast fed my DS for a few months only. Purely because I considered he had received all what i thought necessary and I wanted my body back. If people want to B F thats fine but I think at a certain age enough is enough.
Im sure most husbands must get sick of it.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 22:05

This reply has been deleted

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FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 22:10

Dixie
The poster im talking about. Her child almost 3.
Wonder if she BF when out or with friends and family around.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iggi999 · 30/01/2016 22:21

Flatonthehill you are part of the problem. My youngest is rolling on towards four and feeds every couple of days. He might not "need" it but he won't drink any other milk. He also doesn't need to watch Mr Tumble or go to softplays or have a bike, but he likes to and so he does.
You don't set out to feed so long, they just don't stop and you just keep going.

5madthings · 30/01/2016 22:21

Two of my kids fed til three,one was nearly four actually when he stopped. He did occasionally feed in public at three, one time when he was upset having been examined at a hospital app for example but generally by three it was an early morning and bedtime thing or occasionally during the day if he was very upset for some reason.

Family members didn't say anything,my mil was a bit funny about bfeeding in public when I had ds1 but when she saw I wasn't bothered she got over it.

I have spent over ten years bfeeding the madthings, dh has not been bothered, his attitude has always been if it works and I am happy then whatever. Due Dc6 at easter and he said the other day he hopes bfeeding goes smoothly. And if not we are lucky enough to live in the UK and have a safe alternative should I decide it's not working. Basically when it comes to pregnancy, birth, feeding etc he has always supported my choices what with it being my bod and all.

Op sorry you had this experience, I did have the odd comment over my years of bfeeding but generally I think most people don't notice e or if they do notice they don't care.

LauraMipsum · 30/01/2016 22:22

It's obviously a M&S thing. The only public BFing issue I ever had was in the M&S cafe when a teenage boy was VERY unsubtly filming me on his phone!!

LauraMipsum · 30/01/2016 22:22

It's obviously a M&S thing. The only public BFing issue I ever had was in the M&S cafe when a teenage boy was VERY unsubtly filming me on his phone!!

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 22:25

Iggi
So he feeds every couple of days. Its a habit then? Does he try and do this when out? Would you feed him when out or with friends and family around. Baring in mind his age here.

dangerrabbit · 30/01/2016 22:26

I opened this thread expecting it to be about someone breastfeeding a 3 year old.

12 weeks? Wtf?! YANBU!!!

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 22:27

5MadThings
DC6 ! Wow, congratulations Thanks

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 22:29

Dangerrabbit
It has gone onto 3 year olds!! Theres a picture of one feeding up thread.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 22:32

Dixie
Would you feed a three year old in a restaurant at the table?
Or would you feel the need to go somewhere where no one could see you?

LauraMipsum · 30/01/2016 22:36

It's a beautiful picture upthread. Lots of admiration for all those on here who are feeding toddlers & older ones. I wish I'd managed to keep going.

.....and since when was comforting or feeding an infant based strictly on their needs rather than what they want? My DD doesn't need her cuddly Jellytot rabbit that she's had since she was born but I'd be an arse of the highest order if I took it off her. Confused

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/01/2016 22:37

Why would she feel the need to hide?