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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend some of the kids' Christmas money on a meal out?

339 replies

Happythistime · 27/01/2016 17:34

Can't decide whether this sits right with me or not.

We are thinking of taking the kids to the Rainforest Cafe at the weekend. It is super expensive due to its central London location and themed interior. I want us to go and not wince at the prices and I know the kids will love it so am toying with using a little bit of their Christmas money that they've received from relatives to go towards the bill.

I think that if Christmas money I had given to a child went towards a nice day out, be it a meal or a show or something similar I'd be happy with that. Usually we just put their gift money straight into savings as they have more toys than they need. A bit of me worries though that people would see it as me and DH profiting from their xmas presents. We would obviously pay the bulk of it and only put a bit of their money towards enabling us to go and enjoy it without feeling resentful at the prices. AIBU?

OP posts:
AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 28/01/2016 11:34

At this age you introduce them to new experiences that you think they'd like all the time

^^ this.

op your dh is over thinking it. can you do anything now and try and enjoy it? sitting the RFC looking tense and feeling guilty?

Your hardly clearing out their savings, THEY MIGHT LOVE IT.

There are so many other situations where this would be wrong, ie " grandma specifically gave them 100 towards x but we want to spend it on bla"

LaurieMarlow · 28/01/2016 11:43

Also, do they really need more 'stuff'? I highly doubt it. The majority of UK kids have far more toys than they know what to do with. So why would that be a better use of their money?

Any guilt is misplaced OP - just do it and enjoy Smile

GruntledOne · 28/01/2016 12:45

You're exactly on the same page as the OP. She know they will like a trip to the RFC.

That may be so, but I think there is a difference between a child using their money because they have chosen to do so, and it being taken by the parents for a family outing, however much they think their child might enjoy it. We have always worked on the basis that for family outings we pay, not least because if the children are going to pay then they should be consulted and there would be endless arguments. If we can't afford to go somewhere, we choose somewhere cheaper, we don't use the children's money.

Throwingshade · 28/01/2016 12:49

It's not sanctimonious to say you want money you've given for a kid to go to the kid, not subsidise a meal out.

I'd think it was a bloody cheek if it went on food for the parents as well as the kids.

harrasseddotcom · 28/01/2016 12:57

but they have not said that they would be using for food for themselves. In fact they specified about using £15 each per child which from the sound of things might not even cover the kids food. Its quite rude assuming that they would use it for themselves.

Canshopwillshop · 28/01/2016 12:58

I think it's fine. It's not like they are going to a 'grown-up' restaurants for their choosing - they are going somewhere they think their kids will love and the OP has already said they will be paying the bulk of it anyway.

Yes, the food is over-priced and not brilliant but kids don't care about that! My 2 absolutely loved it and still talked about it ages after. Go for it OP and have a lovely time.

Canshopwillshop · 28/01/2016 12:59

... Grown-up restaurant of their choosing!!

wornoutboots · 28/01/2016 14:13

well... why would you tell them?

my grandparents used to send me money.... they were told I'd bought "books" and were happy with that.

(in reality,t he books were my academic ones for uni, and the money went on food)

multivac · 28/01/2016 14:24

My dad lives abroad, and tends to send money for the kids at Christmas and birthdays. 'Do what you think is best with it', is the note that comes with it. And do you know... he means it.

In the past, it's been used for meals out; cinema trips; swimming and, most recently, posh pyjamas. All stuff they wouldn't have had otherwise. All stuff presented to them as 'from granddad'. All stuff they thanked him for.

All gifts.

GruntledOne · 28/01/2016 14:47

Multivac, that's fine, and clearly you are using the money for precisely the purpose your dad intends it . It just seems to me that if someone gives the children money directly, then it's theirs to decide what to do with, and it's wrong for the parents to assume they can use it even if it is for a family outing.

Gattabianca · 28/01/2016 14:54

You can't compare Wahaca (or any of the other "normal" child-friendly restaurants) to RAinforest Cafe. Yes, of course you will have much better food in Wahaca but it doesn't have elephants.
My 3yo loves fish tacos but he likes eating in the jungle more.
Also Wahaca is a chain, we eat there at home. When I'm in London I'd rather do stuff We can't do at home.

Blu · 28/01/2016 15:37

There's going to M&M World (oh the horror but kids LOVE it) and there's picking up a budget bag if M&Ms in Tesco.

It isn't a child friendly restaurant where Mum and Dad can also enjoy a nice meal the OP wants, it's the RFC experience!

Hulababy · 28/01/2016 17:20

I'd either put it into their savings

-

No, no, no!!!
How many 3 and 6 year olds see savings as a Christmas or birthday treat!
Going somewhere nice is a treat, never seeing the money for years is not a treat.

This is why I would never give cash as a gift.

Cel982 · 28/01/2016 17:30

That may be so, but I think there is a difference between a child using their money because they have chosen to do so, and it being taken by the parents for a family outing

The younger child is THREE! They barely understand what money is at that age, of course the parents are going to decide what it's spent on.

Also yy to Gattabianca on the RFC experience vs. other child-friendly restaurants. It's got indoor thunderstorms, for goodness sake. They'll adore it.

SoThatHappened · 28/01/2016 17:34

Posters comparing it to a weekly shop or a baked potato in a cafe are being frigging ridiculous.

Laurie Marlow Have you read the menu there? I was comparing it to that, I was being literal. All you can get for children there is nuggets, a baked potato, some bland pastas or a hamburger. £15.95 for the pleasure of that and a froot shoot and a scoop of ice cream.

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated · 28/01/2016 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Harverina · 28/01/2016 17:55

I would. The gift off money for children so young to for parents to decide how it is spent. What difference does it make whether it is spent on toys, clothes or a family day out including the meal. Your children will benefit from the weekend away. The money is contributing toward that experience.

Putting it in savings is good for he future but doesn't make up for experiences as a child. That is far more important

yomellamoHelly · 28/01/2016 18:03

Do it. Don't think any sane person would go without dc, so it's obviously a treat for them. (And my dc love it though we've only done it a couple of times as they're always super-busy and you have to queue to get in.)

OnlyLovers · 28/01/2016 18:25

Dishoom on Carnaby St (OK, there are about 3 branches but it's not a chain) How do you figure that? What's your definition of a chain? Confused

Anyway, Dishoom is rather nice IMO and who the hell cares if it's a chain or not?

People bitching about the OP's choice of restaurant, going on about the food etc are rather missing the point. The idea was not just a meal out for the kids but a trip/experience, and going somewhere like the Rainforest Cafe is just that.

I'm still finding it utterly bizarre that people are throwing up their hands in horror at the idea of using kids' present money to take kids out for a day. I'd like to see the parenting/present-receiving rulebook that stipulates what money sent as a present may and may not be used for.

Buxtonstill · 28/01/2016 18:28

ABSOLUTE rip off. Pasta, jelly and a drink from the kids menu £12. A litre bottle of sparkling or still water £6. Six BLOODY pounds. They would not get my custom out of principal. They are taking the piss.

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated · 28/01/2016 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

XiCi · 28/01/2016 19:06

FFS I'm sure the OP is aware that there are better places to eat in London than the Rainforest Cafe, that's not what she asked. She's chosen the RC as it's something she thinks her kids will like, not to eat a Michelin starred meal. Let's face it, most 3 yr olds are bored shitless in restaurants so somewhere like the RC is ideal at that age to keep them amused while they eat. I dont believe there are many 3 yr olds who would rather go to a nice Japanese restaurant or tapas bar than the RC.
OP, I've not been to the London one but have been to the Dubai one and Dd loved it. Yes the food isn't the best but it's certainly edible and we enjoyed it because Dd loved it so much. I'd use the money off vouchers linked to in the thread for the food and let them take some of their Xmas money for the gift shop

TeddTess · 28/01/2016 19:09

of course YANBU
you're taking them on a day out, to a kid themed restaurant. it's not like you've chosen your favourite restaurant and are using their christmas money whilst they only eat from the bread basket.

much better use of treat money than more toys/lego!

Notso · 28/01/2016 19:46

Can someone explain the experience part of it?
I've never been and looking at the website it looks like a naff play barn cafe with a gift shop. What makes it worth forking out for?

DramaQueenofHighCs · 28/01/2016 20:01

Also part of what I object to is that they say they have a wide range of "Kid Friendly" food - So explain to me why things like chicken nuggets etc are "friendly" foods? What they mean is 'sterotypical kiddie junk food with some healthier sterotypical food thrown in for good measure!'.
To be fair I think it looks a good place on the website and a great 'experience'...but I'm sorry the prices still seem extortionate!

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