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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To complain about this TA?

208 replies

angryschoolmum · 26/01/2016 16:15

I have name changed for this post due to ranting at a few people who I think are on here already.
My DD is 5, she left school today weeping due to the comments of a TA. She said that the TA had told the group 2 minutes left and so she rushed the last of her work. Then the TA said "this is awful" about her work.

I know sometimes 5 year olds tell few lies/fibs re school and what happens. When DD does this and I say I'll ask a teacher she will always backtrack and end up confessing she exaggerated/made it up. When I said I'd call school tonight she said "please do, I don't want to see Mrs XXX again".

WIBU to complain to the head as I don't think awful is a word to tell a five year old about their work? If she'd said something like "it's not your best", "we'll redo it tomorrow" or "I don't think you tried hard with this", surely that would be better at this age.

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 26/01/2016 17:18

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CeeceeBloomingdale · 26/01/2016 17:18

If she's so advanced I'd let her give the TA an ear bashing, perhaps in the form of a thesis on how damaging it is to her and how it will affect her A levels in May

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 26/01/2016 17:18

Rightiho...

SoporificHobnob · 26/01/2016 17:19

OP I think that you should be pleased that the school has such a dedicated TA who stays beyond 4pm and who is so committed to making sure that your DD achieves the best she can at all times. Let it go, her education is clearly in very good hands. What work was it? I'm assuming it was something like writing a story since Year 5 maths is going to be far too difficult for even the brightest year 1 child.

MagicalMrsMistoffelees · 26/01/2016 17:19

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LilacSpunkMonkey · 26/01/2016 17:21

All kidding aside, I actually am a TA, recently with Y1 co-incidentally, and on Children in Need day our children worked with - you guessed it - Y5!

But they were just making Pudsey masks to wear.

No children were told their work was awful in the process.

CaptainCrunch · 26/01/2016 17:40

..and the OP has gone strangely quiet... Wink

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 26/01/2016 17:43

Oh OP, OP, OP.......

You shouldn't have gone straight for the Dramatic Update. Tsk.

If only you'd waited till school drop off time tomorrow to have that "chat" with the teacher and the TA you'd have had us.

As it is...

Redlocks28 · 26/01/2016 17:44

Better luck next time, OP.

Goingtobeawesome · 26/01/2016 17:44

Hmmmmm

Stillunexpected · 26/01/2016 17:46

If only you'd waited till school drop off time tomorrow to have that "chat" with the teacher and the TA you'd have had us. - tut tut. Amateur trolling there. You posted at 4.15 pm, presumably from home or somewhere outside of school premises, then half an hour later you had taken on board advice from here, returned to school, had a chat with both the teacher and TA (both thoughtfully available and not in other meetings or gone home) and returned to post the update on here. Next time, think a bit harder about your timings! :-)

Sallystyle · 26/01/2016 17:49

Even if you are telling the truth you are being ridiculous.

Your work is awful isn't exactly kind but not something to run to the head about. I would hate to be a teacher for a TA with so many precious snowflakes around.

1AngelicFruitCake · 26/01/2016 19:48

Either

  1. Children do paired work with different classes but not the same work
Or
  1. They were very low ability Year 5 children paired with higher Year 1s.

I've never heard of a year 1 child being at year 5 level before so would love to n ow which it is...

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/01/2016 20:05

Sorry op I believed you until you said she was doing Year 5 work. So shes 5 years ahead of her self. It's either a lie or a stealth boast.

Original poster
angryschoolmum · 26/01/2016 20:14

Right.... OK.... my DD is with the year 5 set for reading, I don't presume her to be g&t, this is one small area that she is ahead in. They were writing about a book they had just read. I went quiet as after she got back from swimming with my mum I was seeing to her. The head called shortly after the TA and said the TA admitted her words were wrong to a primary school group and she will apologise tomorrow. All teachers and assistants stay until 5 at her school as it is in a deprived area and most children are there for breakfast and after school clubs.

The comments regarding me lying about DD being in a higher group are awful. Both my niece and nephew were free readers with the year 5/6's in year one, we have photographic memories as a trait in our family. We tend to read and learn quickly. It is not a boasting issue as it is sometimes a bad thing to think you know things but then have no common sense or logic behind ideas.

OP posts:
LilacSpunkMonkey · 26/01/2016 20:16

Photographic memories?!?

Oh come on....

theycallmemellojello · 26/01/2016 20:20

I don't know about practice in schools but I do know a four year old (well now he's give) assessed as having a reading age if 11. It happens.

Hulababy · 26/01/2016 20:20

StillStayingClassySanDiego - I work as a TA nowadays; left at 5pm today; was about 4:30 yesterday. I'm normally there till after 4 tbh - paid till 3:30 though.

Floggingmolly · 26/01/2016 20:24

There are plenty of free readers in Year 1, op. They just choose their own books to read; they're not put in with the Year 5's Confused. What's the actual point of that?

IguanaTail · 26/01/2016 20:24

You spoke to the teacher. You spoke to the TA. The headteacher called you and the TA is going to apologise. I think this is all a bit ridiculous. I actually hope it isn't true because it is such a waste of everyone's time. Maybe the TA would be better off spending time helping out the weaker ones rather than spending time looking at a 5 year old's analysis of a 9 year old's book. Hmm

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 26/01/2016 20:29

Hula, good for youSmile

I get to work early to get ahead with my preparation for the day and stay til 4.00 most days, hate staying any later. The TA's up the school don't and leave asap after the children.

OP, bit of a drip feed to be honest.

IguanaTail · 26/01/2016 20:31

Most TAs I know leave very soon after the end of the day because one of the attractions of the job (apart from the amazing money and the really pleasant parents..) is the fact that you can work the hours your own kids are in school (and not have all the after school crap and marking and preparation that teachers have).

SoporificHobnob · 26/01/2016 20:32

I'd question her comprehension skills, I mean many can read at a level ahead of their chronological age, both my DCs were an example of this but if you'd given them a year 5 text in year 1 neither of them would have had the same level of comprehension that an average year 5 child would have had - they wouldn't have been able to infer things from the text that a year 5 child would for example and some of the concepts and ideas would have gone right over their heads.

thelouisee · 26/01/2016 20:39

The trolling quality has deteriorated.

1AngelicFruitCake · 26/01/2016 20:44

I'm genuinely interested to hear how the school justify putting a Year 1 with Year 5s. I assume it is lower Year 5s and wonder what it does for their self esteem in working with a brighter year 1? Also the actual content of their books should differ. I really disagree with that policy

Anyway, as for the Ta - she was honest, apologised etc. What more do you want? Maybe your daughter was t trying as hard for once and therefore when told she had a few mins left just produced something not good enough. It's important that children realise adults aren't perfect and make mistakes and as long as they apologise then if it's not a big deal (which really this wasn't) then the child (and parent) needs to move on!