To ask how you deal with someone who doesn't like you?

[KittenLoverTheFirst]

There is a mum from DD's year at school who used to talk to me but suddenly started blanking me, and clearly doesn't like me. No idea why, and I did text her to ask but she didn't reply so hey ho.

The only thing bothering me is that I have to walk past her each day on the school run, sometimes twice a day or more if I see her on each school run. She walks past me and I've just been saying hello or smiling but she blanks me.

Am I best off just blanking her back? And this is a silly question but where do you actually look if you are walking past someone that you are ignoring. Do you look straight ahead? Or look at them and just look straight through them? I don't want it to look like she intimidates me.

What do I do?

Okay - you are totally kidding yourself if you honestly think you are pissing people off. However I have to thank some of you for making me laugh at the fact that quite a few you who think I'm unpleasant for ignoring people seem to deliberately want to piss people off! Nice!

I think we all have days where we can't be bothered. People who see us everyday don't always see us at our best. I get that. I'm sure I might be a bit offish or I just might be lost in thought and it might be misinterpreted. However, I feel a bit antisocial if I don't make a bit if an effort if people do so with me. The vast majority of our relationships come to nothing so I suppose from that premise I could ignore pretty much everyone but I'd drive myself.mad living inside my own head and intended or not I would probably offend people too

I'm the opposite, I grin inanely at every stranger walking past just to let them know I'm a cheerful happy person. I completely fail to grasp the concept of "blanking" someone, it's not in my nature to be hostile.

Unfortunately that attitude makes me rather good at spotting when I am being actively blanked - and yet, I'm getting old and no longer give a fuck. They always come around to my charm anyway.

I'm very social awkward/anxious and find it really uncomfortable to say hello to people I only vaguely know who I may see twice a day, do you say it every time you see them, when you catch their eye or pretend you've not seen them as it feels weird, they may not want to talk to me or I'm especially anti-social and spectacularly bad at small talk so have a mind blank and might say something stupid. I'm also very aware that, outwardly, I don't "fit in". When I have been spoken to it feels like they are doing "charity work" and aren't actually interested in anything but appearing to be nice. One mum approached me from the back while walking home and asked me a question - she seemed to know something about me but I didn't recognise her, she didn't explain or introduce herself and then made a big effort to cross the road to get away. It's now very awkward. I'm hoping to start full time work so I don't need to do school runs much - breakfast and after school clubs. I'm not so bad at work as the social rules are more familiar and there's something automatically available to talk about, less chance of brain melt thinking of interesting questions.

Maybe that gives insight into one "unfriendly" person's odd perspective. And I am aware I may not come across as the social anxious, depressed mum suffering with chronic severe pain and rock bottom self esteem that I really am. It would be nice to feel more like the friendlier, socially comfortable people most posters seem to be. Keep ignoring us but don't think too badly, although the OP's situation isn't the same if she was previously friendly.

I'd probably want to say a passing hi, but not too cheerily. Realistically I'd probably just ignore. I'm pretty socially anxious at times. I find it embarrassing when you see someone but they don't see you; in those cases I'd just pretend I hadn't seen them. Then they notice me but I've already committed to not noticing! Silly really. I say hello to my neighbours and a man who works nearby - if there's ever need to say more than hello it feels really awkward. I might try to find out their names, which would make it easier.

Livia, I'm with you here. I had someone who'd blow hot and cold with talking to me. Eventually I got fed up as she was opinionated, critical and I was feeling fragile. I made it clear from very short responses that I wasn't interested and then chose to ignore her.

Since then I've had the whole lot of loud comments to her friends as I pass, her talking behind my back etc. It's now got to the stage where if I see her in the street with anyone I get the "tinkly laugh and loud hello". I smile backsay hello, then ignore her at school.

Does this make me think she's a nice person? No. Am I pleased I stopped talking to her? Very!

For the original poster, I'd suggest for you to just give the person some space. Stay polite, smile and make eye contact if they want to and they may start talking again.

My dad is very chatty to everyone, the checkout person, milkman, person at the bus stop etc. He used to see a woman out and about who worked at his local pub and he'd wave , nod or say hello and she would look the other way. he told me he was worried she thought he was a dodgy old man!! He approached her in the pub and said what had happened and that he didn't mean to bother her etc. She was mortified he thought that and said she had social awkwardness that meant she was fine in the pub setting as waitress/barmaid but found it awkward when she was herself. Since then she smiles and waves. I guess I'm saying it's not you op, it's her.