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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want p&c spaces to be renamed "easy access" spaces?

401 replies

UndramaticPause · 23/01/2016 19:56

This has been triggered by other threads but also by life events as a person with disabilities and reduced mobility who doesn't fit blue badge criteria.

We all know and love the p&c warriors and I have had the misfortune to be accosted by them in carparks and have had photos of my car plastered on Facebook parking pages as I will use these spaces if they are close to the shops to alleviate fatigue and pain.

Aibu to think there must be a large amount of people like me or with temporary issues like a broken leg or recovering from surgery who could benefit from the rebrand?

OP posts:
honkinghaddock · 26/01/2016 13:29

Yes, if ds once ds knows he is safe and is going home that usually helps calm him down. Lingering is the worst thing to do when he is upset.

ShimmerandShine · 26/01/2016 13:32

I have to say in recent years she has a lot less but I know the triggers. There are things I wouldn't do if I knew it was too much for her. I will just leave everything and go wherever we are, and we do this to my dad. Doesn't matter what we are doing eating, a show whatever my dad will walk out, then that is that. It's his coping mechanism and from age 6 - 8 dd has picked it up more. I know now when it is time to leave as she has co morbid adhd.

honkinghaddock · 26/01/2016 13:33

When a child/ adult has severe learning difficulties as well it is very difficult for them to learn to make adjustments.

honkinghaddock · 26/01/2016 13:36

Asd and asd with sld are different and have different difficulties.

ShimmerandShine · 26/01/2016 13:38

You might be surprised honking. I know it is harder but having seen the people within the autistic severe learning diabilities care home they often can find little bits that they do their own way. It can be hard feeling like that when you are in the thick of it.

honkinghaddock · 26/01/2016 13:45

Ds is beginning to find ways of calming himself at home and school but outside of the house he isn't able to and of course it is not the safe environment of those places. And of course you get all the stares and face pulling when they hurt you or themselves.

ShimmerandShine · 26/01/2016 13:52

mine is the other way round but she has to share a room with multiple people and we live in a bit of a mad house. I expect she finds it easier at school now as it is quieter! I suppose the car reminds her of the house so she likes it more open. I have found autistic children without siblings are the other way round.

I really don't care if people stare as I said my own dad gave me a black eye when he was like this. He has threw furniture around the garden, broke the table, bashed on the patio door making weird noises. My dd at one time was known everywhere for her meltdowns and as she has adhd to you will see her coming! Dd says she hates me and I am horrible and screams and screams and screams. I think her record is about 2 hours when she was 3 the neighbours just love us Grin

honkinghaddock · 26/01/2016 14:07

It must be harder having to manage other children as well. One of my friends has 4 and 3 are on the spectrum but with very different presentations. I'm in awe of how she copes.
The one thing mine doesn't do is scream !

ShimmerandShine · 26/01/2016 14:09

That is why I stand outside as can't really go home as will get in trouble. I remember once she did it as was screaming over and over, scratching me, trying to bite me, and knocked me over and I ripped my leggings. The neighbour was peeping through the blinds and I looked at him and smiled and he just moved the setting so the blinds closed with a moody look on his face! 4 years on...he will no longer speak or look at me!

Emeralli · 26/01/2016 15:01

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Samcro · 26/01/2016 15:03

Don't see why you need extra space for behavioural issues

wow......some people are so dense.

thelouisee · 26/01/2016 15:08

I hate these threads. There is always a select group of numpties who go to great pains to explain why parents of children with SN should just manage better and why they don't need spaces. That said, my favourite line is "you wouldn't park in a disabled space without a badge" as if the courtesy supermarket spaces are in any way comparable to ensuring access to disabled individuals. Shock

honkinghaddock · 26/01/2016 15:22

Don't worry emeralli my vulnerable older child will only attack adults because he thinks they may help him when he is distressed. He won't touch a baby because he knows they can't. He won't go near anyone with a sour face either.

Sirzy · 26/01/2016 15:28

I presume you have never tried to get a 'reluctant' child into a car if you don't understand why that would require being able to open the door fully!

Closeenough · 26/01/2016 16:09

This thread should be entitled "Why Blue Badge criteria need to be changed". P&C spaces are irrelevant really. As pointed out, they are for marketing reasons. There is no duty on supermarkets to provide them. It is more likely that they'd get rid of them completely rather than deal with the faff of changing them to 'Easy Access'.

And all these people who need to use P&C spaces, what about the majority of car parks that don't have them?

zeezeek · 26/01/2016 16:56

Personally I don't give a shit about P&C parking spaces and think that the people who get worked up about who is parking in them, make comments etc should grow the fuck up and either get a job or a hobby.

Lurkedforever1 · 26/01/2016 17:29

Personally my nomination for selfish fuckwittery is the suggestion people with disabilities etc should go at quiet times/ on-line shop/ be dependent on a lift/ find childcare etc, lest they inconvenience a precious grip lacking parent. That takes self centred ignorance to a whole new level.

SauvignonBlanche · 26/01/2016 17:31

Yes, that was surreal.

RufusTheReindeer · 26/01/2016 19:49

Actually i like emeralli criteria of needing to get equipment out

That pretty much covers it

manicinsomniac · 27/01/2016 00:51

In theory I like the easy access idea. But it wouldn't work. 'Easy access' needs would soon escalate in people's minds from 'I have a broken leg' to 'I feel sick' to 'I'm running late and only have 5 minutes' to 'It's convenient and I can't be bothered to look for another space.'

I'm really horrified by how difficult it is to get a bb though! I had no idea. My mum has one (afaik had no problem getting it either) just for osteoarthritis and obesity. She can get in and out of a car normally and can walk for up to 10 minutes if she has to (longer if she has something like a shopping trolley or is wandering verrrrry slowly. How that can be justified but some of the cases described here not be is beyond me. (not saying that my mum shouldn't have a bb, it makes her life possible as she lives alone a 25 minute walk from town up a huge hill and without busses. Just feel that a lot of people seem to be missing out unfairly.)

gandalf456 · 27/01/2016 09:45

I wouldn't have a problem with the broken leg scenario personally. I agree that the system is open to abuse but it's abused already. Unless it's a legal requirement or there are consequences it will be

cavkc123 · 27/01/2016 12:27

"Not sure why someone who is capable of trekking round a supermarket would need use of a P&C space near to the store. The marginal difference in walking distance would be small"

You could use this logic about disabled spaces which are always close to the entrance. I have a blue badge and trust me being able to park there makes a lot of difference, particularly when leaving the store with a trolley etc. That said I never park in p&c places.

I'm in my early 50's and drive a 4x4 and you would not belief the amount of abuse I get, even with my badge on the dashboard. People just assume that it's a middle aged woman with a large car and she doesn't know how to park properly!

LovelyFriend · 27/01/2016 12:32

HRWT

But "easy access" just seems a bit "crotchless knickers" to me , so YABU

hazeyjane · 27/01/2016 12:38

If I park in a crotchless knickers space, can I be fined if I am actually wearing my 'tuck them under my boobs big granny pants'?

LovelyFriend · 27/01/2016 12:40

I will of course shout at you across the carpark hazeyjane so everyone knows :)