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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want p&c spaces to be renamed "easy access" spaces?

401 replies

UndramaticPause · 23/01/2016 19:56

This has been triggered by other threads but also by life events as a person with disabilities and reduced mobility who doesn't fit blue badge criteria.

We all know and love the p&c warriors and I have had the misfortune to be accosted by them in carparks and have had photos of my car plastered on Facebook parking pages as I will use these spaces if they are close to the shops to alleviate fatigue and pain.

Aibu to think there must be a large amount of people like me or with temporary issues like a broken leg or recovering from surgery who could benefit from the rebrand?

OP posts:
Zinni · 25/01/2016 19:09

So the mum who is struggling to get a baby car-seat out, assemble a pram, attach car-seat to pram (without putting pram in path of traffic) and simultaneously keep hold of toddler should give up the P&C space to someone with crutches, who just wants a bit of extra space for ease and a shorter walk?

Transferring out of a car when you have severe SPD does not require an extra 1m margin. I have managed it in tight spaces (legs together) with help of a bag on seat. Or I would get out before DH parked!

Starbores · 25/01/2016 19:09

Yes you are right haddock I made an assumption based on that and having been through the bb process with a relative my local authority seems to have pretty relaxed criteria. Not sure if this has changed recently or not.

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/01/2016 19:14

Well you would surely A) pick a pram compatible with your lifestyle. rather than a flashy tank that took multiple hands and was a bastard to collapse/ assemble

b) use that thing called a brake that stops pram rolling into path of traffic.

c) pick another space at the back.back . or in a corner somewhere or that is by the walk way or whatever or has a space empty next to.it.

d) leave toddler in the car or put the toddler in the car first so toddler is restrained while you sort pram.

basically what ypu do anytime you go somewhere that isn't a supermarket or where a P&c space isn't free

Lurkedforever1 · 25/01/2016 19:17

star not a dig at you, or a 'dig' at anyone. An actual reply to all the incapable parents saying they need to be close to the door for the safety of their child.

Really, you need to wake up and realise being a parent is not on a par with living with disabilities/ mobility problems. There's no need to discuss which group may need the space more as it's blatantly obvious to anyone not self centred.

Thankyou sauvignon Grin

Starbores · 25/01/2016 19:21

It Giles you could choose d) have twins and only be able to lift and put one at a time in the car meaning the other is in the trolley or pram.

Lurked you need to wake up and realise that a car park isn't the safest place for a child do you really think that all accidents regarding children are due to lax parenting. the signs are blatantly obvious what the spaces are for.

Sirzy · 25/01/2016 19:21

I never get the taking the car seat out the car argument in these threads, leave the seat and take the baby out the seat! It's bad for the baby to spend too long in a car seat anyway. Thankfully the new generation of baby seats designed to last longer will hopefully see a stop to the idea of babies spending so long in seats out of the car.

honkinghaddock · 25/01/2016 19:22

If anyone has a wandering toddler why not stick reins on them. Instantly solves the problem.

Lurkedforever1 · 25/01/2016 19:22

zinni I'd volunteer to do so in that situation without hesitation. Perhaps if you put down the violin you might find it easier to cope?

Lurkedforever1 · 25/01/2016 19:26

star no, not safe for nt children with incapable parents. Keeping hold of kids in a car park till they can be trusted isn't difficult ffs. Maybe all the special snowflakes who struggle with that should take tips from all the people that can't drive/ afford a car and manage to get round.

FlamingoFandango · 25/01/2016 19:29

I think it's a great idea to just have generic easy access spaces.

Every local supermarket near us has about 20 P & C spaces and about 50 disabled spaces, most of which are unused.

A bit more flexibility would be hugely helpful.

hazeyjane · 25/01/2016 19:29

I don't think anyone has said that parents should hand over the space to someone on crutches - just maybe don't take it upon yourself to roll eyes/politely comment/have a go at...someone who parks in a P+c space using crutches - because, you know, they might be struggling a bit and it's kind to be kind.

fines for parking in a taxi bay are legally enforcable, parking in a p+c space aren't - unless you hobble up to a parent and whack them in the face with your crutch. Plus, parking in a taxi space like parking in a bus stop makes life hard for multiple road users, and hinders someones job.

Disclaimer - I have children, 3 of them, the oldest were 1 year apart, so yes - 2 non walking babies to juggle, and 2 toddlers and a baby when ds came along. Our youngest is 5 so parent and child spaces are still part of our remit, and I couldn't give a flying blee blah about someone using a p&c space because they need some extra room

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/01/2016 19:38

do you think people sit there and think "I'm going to ram that trolly as she's only taken one baby out of it"

or "it's ok its just food I can get it now"

Starbores · 25/01/2016 19:40

Lurked I don't even know where to start with your post so I think I won't bother. Posts like yours are best ignored.

Hazey my original post was regarding people who don't need the extra space but use them anyway then it just turned into a competition of who has it hardest.

It's clear that the issue will never be resolved until supermarkets or the government bring in legislation to protect p&c spaces and police this or provide easy access spaces for anyone who thinks they need them.

My main issue is that these are provided for parents; some people with a disability but without a bb feel that their need is greater, what if the next disabled without a bb has a more severe disability than the first and therefore feels their need is greater?

Without professionals assessing people like they do for bb it's impossible to tell therefore I think people should park where their supposed to.

Starbores · 25/01/2016 19:41

No I don't Giles I'm not neurotic but when you get people speeding around the car park I don't feel safe leaving a baby unattended in a pram or trolley...if that makes me a special snowflake so be it.

I'll continue to put the safety of my children ahead of making someone else's life a little easier.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 25/01/2016 19:45

Zinnia I will swap you your utter hardship of getting a baby out of a car and into a pram Hmm for physically hanging on to a 5 foot tall plus 9 year old who is determined to run into traffic.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 25/01/2016 19:45

And I have gone through the sheer vulnerability Hmm of having a baby in a pram

honkinghaddock · 25/01/2016 19:47

I had a baby and now I have disabled child so I think I have enough experience to know where the greater need lies.

TheFairyCaravan · 25/01/2016 19:48

Transferring out of a car when you have severe SPD does not require an extra 1m margin. I have managed it in tight spaces (legs together) with help of a bag on seat.

Are you calling me a liar Zinni? Just because you could get out of the car with SPD in a normal car parking space doesn't mean everyone else can. Bear in mind a lot of women, me included, were in a wheelchair with SPD. I was bed bound from 26 weeks of pregnancy.

I have had very severe SPD for 20 years, a plastic bag on a car seat is fuck all use to me when it comes to getting out of the car. I use one of these. I need the door fully open because I can not weight bear without my crutches, and I need the assistance of another person to help me out of the car.

There are many women in this situation in pregnancy. I'm a member of a lot of online SPD support groups. We recommend that women use P&C spaces rather than struggle in normal spaces. I'd bet too, that if you complained to a supermarket that someone with mobility issues was using a P&C space they wouldn't care lass!

hazeyjane · 25/01/2016 19:53

then it just turned into a competition of who has it hardest. - no, I think this is your take on it, but I don't think that happened at all.

what if the next disabled without a bb has a more severe disability than the first and therefore feels their need is greater?

Some examples.......

If I get on a bus with ds in his sn buggy, and someone is on there in a wheelchair and we can't both fit, I get off because the person in the wheelchair was there first.

If someone gets on a bus with a baby in a buggy, and we are there with ds in his sn buggy, then I help the person fold their buggy, so they can fit on the bus with me.

If I am stood waiting for the loo and a person comes in behind me, with a child jiggling about nearly peeing themselves, I let them go first

If we see someone parking in a p+c space without a child and all the disabled badges are full we find a normal space and crack on as best we can without giving the people that parked in the p+c spaces and bb spaces a second thought.

This is called getting on with it in a society with lots of people with different needs. It isn't a competition and it doesn't require any judging of whether someone has more right to something than someone else - just being kind and sensible.

Sirzy · 25/01/2016 19:56

Brilliant post hazey

Starbores · 25/01/2016 19:58

thats a good post hazey but if you read back then it definitely has turned into a competition and this is what happens with the spaces which is why I think they should be used by those they are provided for.

I agree there should also be easy access spaces for those who need them but p&c spaces are for the safety of children to me this takes priority over making someone's day easier regardless of the reason.

Sirzy · 25/01/2016 20:02

It's not a competition, it's simply a case of if a p and c space is free great, if not park elsewhere and get on with it.

You are the only one trying to turn it into some sort of competition thing.

hazeyjane · 25/01/2016 20:03

There have been several people who have said that trying to keep an older child with severe disabilities safe in a car park is harder than keeping babies/young children safe in a car park, and that carrying a disabled older child is heavier than carrying 2 babies - I don't really think that is competitive, I would have thought those things were just obvious!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 25/01/2016 20:03

It's not a competition. People are merely pretty shocked that others are comparing having a baby to having a disability

Starbores · 25/01/2016 20:05

I'm really not sirzy I stated in one of my first posts on this thread that I personally struggle with carrying 2 non walking babies across a busy car park and was immediately told I'm precious, it's harder to carry a 6 year old and more recently that I'm a special flower.