Dh leaves non swimming kids unattended....

[Piratespoo]

My dh has taken my ds4 (complete non swimmer) and dd8 (can swim about 4 metres) swimming several times. My dd came back last time and said daddy had left them on their own while he went on the slides that they were too young for and just left them alone. I asked him if that was correct and he said yes, but they were fine in the little pool and it was just a few times. I said it isn't on, it isn't safe and he must not do it again. He begrudgingly agreed.

Today he has taken them again, and apparently he let them on their own about 5 times, went to the toilet and left them in the pool on their own while he went, and when I asked him it was correct, he said ," they are fine! I leave them in their own in one side of the pool and I am the other side and they are fine!" I got a bit cross and said it isn't fine and how can he not see it is dangerous and he got really cross and said he wasn't prepared to discuss it. I then said he isn't taking them again.

He then said to my dd that he was annoyed with her for "telling tales". She was upset at that and I had to say that daddy was wrong and he shouldn't have done it.

I am so angry that he won't see it. He will never admit to being wrong though.

My ds is very likely to decide to get out and run around the edge which he does frequently, if he were to fall, crack his head and fall dazed or unconscious into the water, no one would be watching...that is my thought...

Does your DH have any redeeming features? Because the more you say, the less and less impressive he sounds.

My dad used to do this with me and my brother. One time when I was about 4 I fell over and went under the water. I couldn't get back up again as I couldn't get a grip on the tiled floor of the pool. My feet kept sliding out as I scrabbled to stand up. I was terrified. I remember sticking my hand up out of the water and frantically waving it to get help. The pain of trying to hold my breath was awful. And then I couldn't hold it and more and I gasped and then nothing. I was dead.

Then I was coughing up water on the side of the pool as the life guard who'd pulled me out tried desperately to revive me. That was 40 years ago and the memory is still as vivid as the day it happened. Your DH is playing roulette with his childrens' lives.

YANBU

He left his non swimming children unattended in the pool so he could go down the slide? How fucking old is he?? I really try to keep my nose out of other people parenting but this topic is close to home as a friends daughter drowned in their pool, she survived but was in a coma for the next ten year before yet another bout of pneumonia took her.

See this link and especially the video. Not my friends story but another showing children should be watched around water.

www.today.com/parents/drowning-silent-nightmare-day-pool-t23881

He led his children to go on the slides, what is he a fucking teenager? Excitement get the best of him. I'd be furious and I would ensure he didn't take them again. And for making your daughter feel guilty. Horrible. What's going on in her little head?

I am now effectively terrified of water. I'm so glad you survived, hedgehog.

The swimming thing is bad enough (really really bad), but the telling your DD off for taking to you about something bothering her - well that is appalling too.

I'm sorry you are married to such a dick :(

You haven't answered the question of is this twattish behaviour normal or not... That in itself speaks volumes.

I'm so paranoid about drowning I don't allow dd nearly 6 out of reach let alone sight! She has arm bands but it only takes a second.

If dp had done what yours had, I'd consider leaving him.

What an absolute duck
I'm afraid my h is similar. I found his cavalier attitude to safety attractive til i had kids
I chose not to separate til kids are older as then i have more control over situations
Its a bit crap

I'd phone the pool and ask them to tighten procedures if he is ever going again

I would be hopping mad at both the behaviour and telling off for telling tales.

The thing that stood out for me is not only the safety aspect, but surely taking your kids out swimming should be a fun thing for them all to do together, not him buggering off and leaving them while he had separate fun.

I'm not sure I could stay in a relationship with someone so irresponsible.

he is a complete and utter idiotic bastard who shows so little care for his children that he can not be responible enough to put aside his own fun for their safety.

Also betting there is a back story given that he told the 8 year old off for lying.

:)
Duck????
Quite obviously i meant 'dick'

Leaving your non- or poorly-swimming kids alone in a swimming pool whilst you 'go on the slides' is fucktardardly bastardful on every level. There's absolutely no way it can be justified in any possible way.

My ds is very likely to decide to get out and run around the edge which he does frequently, if he were to fall, crack his head and fall dazed or unconscious into the water, no one would be watching...that is my thought...

Or falls into the big pool out of his depth.

I'd be very concerned that he has told your daughter off ' for telling tales'. That one needs to be knocked on the head very firmly. They need to be able to tell us anything at all.

I would be furious with him and would never let him take them again.

Totally unacceptable behaviour. Your DH is neglectful. Can you ring the swimming pool and tell them what he's doing. Maybe they could step in

I couldn't be with someone who was so staggeringly selfish that he would risk his children's lives because he wanted to go on a slide. A fucking slide, unbelievable. I imagine that such a thick, selfish twat is a crap husband and father in all other respects as well.

What XiCi said! It'd be a reason to divorce if this was my DH.

Wow. Just wow.

Reading your op made my blood run cold.

I was a very good obediant child. We visited relatives with a pool when I was 3. My dad sat me on the side and told me not to move. The adults were talking about something when my dad's cousin realised I was in the water. I don't know how I got in the water. I remember being in the water. I was lifted out by my hair and fortunately was fine. It could have been different.
I don't like letting my DD out of sight in the pool for more than a moment. She can swim pretty well but she's 9 and stuff happens.

This would really worry me, not just because of the swimming, that is easily avoided by not letting him take them swimming again, but mainly because he puts his own wants above the safety of his children and he seems incapable of assessing risk. You must be doing all the work in terms of keeping them safe.

When I used to take me kids swimming, I longed to go for a swim, but I knew that when I was supervising them, that wasn't an option.