Dh leaves non swimming kids unattended....

[Piratespoo]

My dh has taken my ds4 (complete non swimmer) and dd8 (can swim about 4 metres) swimming several times. My dd came back last time and said daddy had left them on their own while he went on the slides that they were too young for and just left them alone. I asked him if that was correct and he said yes, but they were fine in the little pool and it was just a few times. I said it isn't on, it isn't safe and he must not do it again. He begrudgingly agreed.

Today he has taken them again, and apparently he let them on their own about 5 times, went to the toilet and left them in the pool on their own while he went, and when I asked him it was correct, he said ," they are fine! I leave them in their own in one side of the pool and I am the other side and they are fine!" I got a bit cross and said it isn't fine and how can he not see it is dangerous and he got really cross and said he wasn't prepared to discuss it. I then said he isn't taking them again.

He then said to my dd that he was annoyed with her for "telling tales". She was upset at that and I had to say that daddy was wrong and he shouldn't have done it.

I am so angry that he won't see it. He will never admit to being wrong though.

He is a complete twat. Your kids could have drowned.

Personally, I would be taking them from now, and coming up with a list of the totally shit jobs - weekly shop, hoovering, cleaning the kitchen floor, whatever you hate most - for him to do while you are splashing around in the pool with the kids. Do not let him get away with "strategic incompetence" where you end up taking this on in addition to everything else you do and he suddenly magically gets an extra 2 hours of free time a week.

Get prepared financially, practically and emotionally OP.

I'm sorry, but like AF, I know there will be a whole trail of misery through your relationship behind this one last act of irresponsibility.

I wish you strength and the absolute confidence to know that you deserve better and so do your dc.

unlucky - your DP ignored repeated warnings from lifeguards that he was putting his small child in danger over 3 years so he could have a fucking jacuzzi?!

What a revolting, useless cunt of a man.

Also doesn't deserve to call himself a father.'

Shocking.

Unbelievably irresponsible. Yanbu at all.

If it was my Dh, he wouldn't be taking the kids again.

He is a fucking arse.

My dad saved me from drowning in a pool with lifeguards.

www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/coma-survivor-kid-cally-simpson-5643500#F4mJFVVtzUjkd7bY.97

Callie is now home, but still gets very ill and is very badly brain-damaged. Her life will never be the same again.
Does he wish this on his own children?

My first thought was the same as Any Fucker's - way to ensure he well and truly gets out of ever doing this again. That task (like many others, I suspect) now falls to you because he's 'incapable'.

What a total child.

Not only would he not be taking them any where remotely risky again, but I'd be force feeding him stories of drowning kids until he regretted the day he met me!! I find it really hard to believe a grown adult could be such a twat!

I'd probably show the dick this thread too...

Not only would he not be taking them any where remotely risky again

You mean like their own home?

[[http://childdrowningalliance.org/#2787 Drowning is the leading cause of accidental death among children ages one to four.
Most are being supervised by their own parents at the time of death.]]

He's totally fucking irresponsible. I'd be furious and never let him take them swimming again.

He's an irresponsible twat.

And I'd actually call the pool management to let them know that their lifeguards are not picking up on this- of course it is absolutely your husband's responsibility to supervise his children, but the lifeguards shouldn't be allowing this, and I bet management would prefer to tighten procedures before a child drowns.

TheDowager - that link refers to America and personal swimming pools. The risk will not be the same in the UK where personal swimming pools are few and far between!

Not that I don't think this is ridiculously awful of the DH!

Pool safety was such a basic thing for us growing up in a pool rich country. Everyone knew someone with a tragedy or a near miss. I can't be more than an arm's length from my kids even at the duck ponds. It only takes a couple of minutes.

bath he really is convinced DD wasn't in any danger ...the life guards didn't realise he was watching her etc ... he does try and does care deeply about his DCs -just has no common sense/warped idea of what is safe...I do need to keep an eye on what he thinks is good idea ...
(eg He has a knife scar on his stomach ... as a child he was playing a 'dodge the knife' game with his older brothers and he didn't get out the way quick enough - needed surgery etc - lucky it wasn't a lot worse. When one DC asked him how he got the scar I heard what he told her. Instead of 'we were being really stupid -this is why you should never play with knives' - it came across as it was a really fun game that just went slightly wrong...ahhhhhhh)

He is a stupid, dangerous, foolhardy fucker, unlucky.

If I'd been one of the many lifeguards he ignored whilst he left his child to drown while he had a soak, I would have called the police.

No child should grow up in a home with a father who would out them in so much danger so regularly. That is a safeguarding issue.

Your poor child.

He left his kids unsupervised so that he could go down a slide, five times. I cannot believe that when he isn't putting his children's lives in danger that he is a decent human being.

Wrong on so many levels.

Children who can't swim shouldn't be left without an adult
An 8 year old shouldn't be told to lie/hide the truth, (that is the bit that is most wrong about this - she knows there's something wrong and is trying put it right and gets told off by him)
A 4 year old shouldn't really be left alone in a public place (swimming pool or not) although your 8 yo does sound very responsible.

Now you know he does this and you know he thinks nothing is wrong with him doing this and that you know despite it being highlighted to him it has not prevented him repeating it.

Logistically how are you going to prevent it happening again? How are you going to safeguard the children from the risk?

I don't know what to do, to be honest. He won't talk to me about it at the moment. I suppose I will have to say he can't take them anymore....they do like going and I don't but I suppose I will have to take them now...

Even your 8 year old knows it is wrong.

Of course he wont talk about it, he is a dickhead.