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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

This mum is totally unreasonable isn't she? Help me word a reply!

540 replies

WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 10:32

My son went to his friends house for a play and tea yesterday. They are both 5. They went to a local soft play.

I went to pick my son up and the husband was there, all good. Had a great time.

I text the mum to say thank you etc and I had this reply...

'No problem! They had a great time at soft play and then they had some dinner there. It came to £10.00. You can give me the money at the gates tomorrow. Have a nice evening! X'

Erm what the fuck? Is that normal? What do I do?

OP posts:
LineyReborn · 21/01/2016 16:14

To be fair, I never offer 'replies' that I wouldn't genuinely use myself in the same situation, and I'm fairly diplomatic when I'm not pissed.

And the OP did ask for help from MN with what to send.

emotionsecho · 21/01/2016 16:14

Waitrose it may be worth you having the thread taken down as the matter is resolved amicably and if someone else who knows the two of you sees it it may well 'unresolve' it.

MuttonDressedAsMutton · 21/01/2016 16:15

Agreed pictish. She's using that as an excuse having realised her behaviour was shitty and grabby. Oh well - I suppose it does beat owning up to being an unreasonable grabby ill-mannered grouch!

LineyReborn · 21/01/2016 16:15

I think given the FB thing, MNHQ would agree to remove it.

Queenbean · 21/01/2016 16:15

Hang on, so you didn't overreact and were reasonable, then you didn't bitch about her to all and sundry and instead spoke to her about your issue. Then she explained and apologised and it's all fine between you?

WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO MUMSNET. THIS IS NOT ON.

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 16:16

Good idea, I will ask MN. I'm sure they won't mind!

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 21/01/2016 16:16

Yay! I am glad it is resolved amicably and that she has apologised Thanks

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 16:17

Haha Queen, it's not right is it! I should have been more unreasonable!

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 21/01/2016 16:17

Do we know that she definitely didn't offer money towards legoland etc.

Yes.

zzzzz · 21/01/2016 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Leelu6 · 21/01/2016 16:18

Well done, OP. You did very well. You've made it clear that you're willing to be friends but you're not willing to be a pushover.

If she had any intention of taking advantage of your good nature, they have been firmly squashed.

Better to clear the air as well, as you say, rather than let resentment fester.

Queenbean · 21/01/2016 16:19

Yes. You should have dragged it out over several days, drip feeding, suggested she was on benefits / a bad mother / parks in parent and baby spaces etc etc, then told us you'd shown this thread to your dh and he would text her dh, then you're sure that the other mums are gossiping about it, then you'd been to the school gates and she'd been passive agressively nice.

Not this, damn it!

Grin
Sunnybitch · 21/01/2016 16:19

milkandtwosugars Grin

KBGApril · 21/01/2016 16:20

Well done OP, you challenged her behaviour and that takes guts.

LineyReborn · 21/01/2016 16:22

Maybe over coffee and dog walking tomorrow she will reveal her family's dark side of gambling and crack.

Leelu6 · 21/01/2016 16:23

MilkTwoSugarsThanks haha!

Leelu6 · 21/01/2016 16:24

Liney - or maybe she'll order her coffee first, and then look around faux-nonchalant, so that OP pays for both Grin

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 21/01/2016 16:24

Good ending. Stress can make people snipe at those around them. I think it's worked out for the best that op pulled the mum up on it, even with an excuse it is unacceptable and op has set precedent that she won't be taken for a mug. Well, not without comment anyway - she took the tenner?! I hope op gets a better explanation tomorrow morning, like a pp suggested that maybe there is someone in her life pressuring her over spending. I know when my parents got divorced that my mum got calllled to account for every penny she spent, even on school shoes and things. (Would have been better if I didn't know such things though, but that's a discussion for another thread "Leave Kids Out Of Your Divorce" maybe?)

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 21/01/2016 16:26

Oops, paragraphs! I'm on a phone...

hellsbellsmelons · 21/01/2016 16:27

Well I'm glad it's all sorted.
Hopefully you can both put the world to rights tomorrow.

MrsGradyOldLady · 21/01/2016 16:29

Yes it is a bit of a disappointing end. I definitely think you should stick t'nut on her tomorrow. After she's paid for the coffee AND cake though.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 21/01/2016 16:29

Difficult - with some friends we alternate - others pay their share. However in this case you've already treated so should be her turn!!

Is it a good friend? Do you do play dates often?

Sunnybitch · 21/01/2016 16:29

Can you imagine if tight wad friend starts a thread when she gets home tomorrow about 'aibu to think my friend is out of order because after she gave me the money back it cost me to take her dc out for the afternoon, I spent the exact same amount on her buying her cake and tea all morning and she didn't offer me a penny' Grin

bigbuttons · 21/01/2016 16:29

what? Have I understood correctly? She took the money?

bigbuttons · 21/01/2016 16:31

also if you gave the £10 then it is you who will be effectively buying the coffee tomorrow surely?

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