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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

This mum is totally unreasonable isn't she? Help me word a reply!

540 replies

WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 10:32

My son went to his friends house for a play and tea yesterday. They are both 5. They went to a local soft play.

I went to pick my son up and the husband was there, all good. Had a great time.

I text the mum to say thank you etc and I had this reply...

'No problem! They had a great time at soft play and then they had some dinner there. It came to £10.00. You can give me the money at the gates tomorrow. Have a nice evening! X'

Erm what the fuck? Is that normal? What do I do?

OP posts:
MrsGradyOldLady · 21/01/2016 16:01

Come on waitrose how long does the school run take...

MrsGradyOldLady · 21/01/2016 16:02

Sorry cross posted!

pictish · 21/01/2016 16:02

X posted, sorry. Glad it worked out well. God knows what she thought she was doing though!

Sonnet · 21/01/2016 16:02

Glad it is sorted amicably.

I apologise - I misunderstood and thought you had sent the second text hence my post about a storm in a tea cup and fanning the flames Smile

PaulAnkaTheDog · 21/01/2016 16:02

Hahahahahahaha! Are you for real waterrat?!

OlliMummy · 21/01/2016 16:02

Do we know that she definitely didn't offer money towards legoland etc.. It seems maybe that's being used as an excuse as to why op shouldn't pay.. I find it hard to believe she wouldn't offer anything for legoland, it seems that op would be too nice to accept money but that's not the other mums problem. She should return the favour yes, but it isn't a given, especially if she is on a budget herself. I wouldn't offer to take a child out for the day then expect my child to be taken somewhere in return, and even if the other mum said or I knew she couldn't afford to return the offer I wouldn't then say I wouldn't take their child! That's just petty, you do it to keep your own kids happy. Maybe I'm just too nice but still.. Rude to assume the other parent wil pay regardless of what you've done for their dc in the past.

Fifi10 · 21/01/2016 16:03

But she took the £10 anyway??? Thought the polite thing to do in her case (after admitting she was wrong) would be to graciously refuse.

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 16:04

I'm just now shitting myself that someone has shown her the page!

Don't worry HQ, we all make mistakes - clearly myself included!

OP posts:
RiverTam · 21/01/2016 16:04

Glad it's sirted from your point of view, but how bizarre! She's got shit going on in her life so she sends a snippy text to you? Weird.

Birdie85 · 21/01/2016 16:04

Gosh, I can't wait to find out what the other Mum has to say for herself!

Reminds me of the time a 'friend' tried sending me a bill for a BBQ and took the hump when I pointed out that the food and drink I provided actually equalled the amount that she was trying to bill me for so we were even but OF COURSE I'd pay more if it meant so much to her! ;)

PaulAnkaTheDog · 21/01/2016 16:04

Glad it ended well. still can't believe you have her the money though

MrsGradyOldLady · 21/01/2016 16:05

I'm glad you sorted it out but she accepted the money???

Birdie85 · 21/01/2016 16:06

Ah cross posted, glad all is good and that she saw the error of her ways. Well done for standing your ground!

LineyReborn · 21/01/2016 16:06

I reckon she needs to be able tell her husband or her DM or someone that she got the money - even if she then (rightly) spends it back on the OP.

Something isn't right in her world.

onecurrantbun1 · 21/01/2016 16:08

I'm so pleased you sorted it out. Think she couldn't really have not accepted the money without making an even bigger deal out of the whole thing. Coffee (and cake!) In the morning sounds like the way forward. Well done for keeping your cool and preserving the friendship OP.

pictish · 21/01/2016 16:09

I can't reconcile how her having stress with her family equated to being a cheeky, grasping cow to you...particularly as you have shelled out for her kid plenty before now. I think her excuse is shite.

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 16:09

Well I considered not giving her the money but thought it may have really blown up then. She's obviously having a shit time and I really don't want to make things worse for her by having drama at school too.

Really appreciate everyone's input today, thank you

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 21/01/2016 16:10

So in the end everyone acted all reasonable and friendly and... and... and...

How fucking unreasonable is that? Shock

heckythump01 · 21/01/2016 16:11

do you have a coppers/ small change jar...............pay with it counting one coin out at a time.......................................... say it was the only money in the house at such short notice as it was unexpected Grin

Sallystyle · 21/01/2016 16:11

I hate seeing people being dragged into texting things and ramping up the drama.

For some posters this is just fun and games waiting to see what happens next, and it seems that OP's often get drawn in and text things they wouldn't because they get swept along.

This could have been better solved and not made into a huge drama that it is now. The school run might be difficult in future and what have you actually achieved?

She acted badly but now it's this big drama while people sit waiting for the next instalment not really caring what difficulties it may cause you.

heckythump01 · 21/01/2016 16:12

Damn too late............. hehe

Sallystyle · 21/01/2016 16:12

Cross posted with the OP!

pictish · 21/01/2016 16:12

I don't know about anyone else, but I know when I have family stress the first thing I do is charge my kids' friends' parents for hosting playdates.

Or you know...not.

What a shit excuse.

BurningBridges · 21/01/2016 16:13

(can someone recap on the Facebook page for me - clearly this still has the potential to go to 20 pages!)

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 16:13

Maybe she is just a dick, but at least this way we are still friends and there is no bad feeling.

I do agree the 'excuse' seems a bit shit

OP posts: