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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

This mum is totally unreasonable isn't she? Help me word a reply!

540 replies

WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 10:32

My son went to his friends house for a play and tea yesterday. They are both 5. They went to a local soft play.

I went to pick my son up and the husband was there, all good. Had a great time.

I text the mum to say thank you etc and I had this reply...

'No problem! They had a great time at soft play and then they had some dinner there. It came to £10.00. You can give me the money at the gates tomorrow. Have a nice evening! X'

Erm what the fuck? Is that normal? What do I do?

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 21/01/2016 14:55

Good luck op! Be classy.....

Jw35 · 21/01/2016 14:58

Place marking

Cheeky cow!

Sonnet · 21/01/2016 14:58

Gosh - storm in a tea cup AND put on to FB!

So this is why the "school gates" get a bad name.

You should have just paid up and chalked it down to experience. Think twice before paying for her child again by all means but you really have made school gate life more difficult than it needs to be.

SlightlyJaded · 21/01/2016 14:58

Just one more word of advice OP.

If you don't get a response before you see her, approach her first. If you avoid her in any way, it makes you look weak and wrong (you are neither) and is harder to come back from.

I would brazen it out and stroll up to her with a big smile and 'hi' and immediately come out with something like:

"Well that was a bit awkward wasn't it! Here's the money - he had a lovely time, thanks. You'll have to excuse me for not expecting to be asked for money, as I thought we'd set a precedent of 'my trip, my treat' with Legoland and meals out and stuff. Let's just agree how we want to do this going forward and move on"

And then don't ever take her DS anywhere that costs more than 10p

Ohfourfoxache · 21/01/2016 14:58

Christ, what's on FB? Shock

Member251061 · 21/01/2016 14:58

My daughter was asked (aged 7) to go out to build a bear for her best friends birthday. It wasn't a party, just a treat. Her mum told me before that my daughter would need £30 to buy her own bear. As I'd already agreed to letting my dd go, I really felt I had no choice but to pay. I would never ask a parent to pay-if you offer I wouldn't accept either. The decision to take another child along is yours. If you can't afford it-just go to the park or play at home.

hellsbellsmelons · 21/01/2016 15:02

Oh good grief - I need to know what it says on facebook.
I'm wondering how she could make herself look good in all of this?

LineyReborn · 21/01/2016 15:03

What if it's the husband being the tightwad?

cedricsneer · 21/01/2016 15:03

The mumsnet fb page has linked to this thread.

cedricsneer · 21/01/2016 15:04

I think that is what she means by it being on fb. Tbh i think it would be good if she read this! I think you have been very reasonable.

LineyReborn · 21/01/2016 15:04

Oh well, what could possibly go wrong??

WickedWax · 21/01/2016 15:05

On the plus side, if she reads this she might give her head a wobble and realise how unreasonable she is.

There's no way she could spin this to make herself look good or in the right.

waterrat · 21/01/2016 15:06

honestly OP you have behaved badly after being egged on by mumsnet. It really really wasnt a big deal. She asked for a small amount of money and while you weren't keen on how she did it, if this happened to me I would have just said oh gosh yes, sorry not to have thought of it before and paid.

Seems really mean and unkind to the kids involved to make a fuss of it.

PrivatePike · 21/01/2016 15:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rampantrose · 21/01/2016 15:12

I would not of paid if I had not expected it. If my ds has a play date I will always pay for the other child and even mum if they can't afford it and vice versa. If she had said before hand she was taking the children to anywhere that costs she should of asked if that was OK as she would need you to cover costs.

VagueIdeas · 21/01/2016 15:12

Mumsnet put it on FB as one of the discussions of the day.

Which is a bit thoughtless of MN, given the identifying information, I think.

evilcherub · 21/01/2016 15:13

waterrat. Are you the other mum by any chance ;) OP has behaved perfectly reasonably. The other mum's behaviour on the other hand is disgraceful.

Proginoskes · 21/01/2016 15:14

Facebook OMG. Screenshots are a must!!

Littlemissamy · 21/01/2016 15:16

Shamelessly just commenting so I can carry on reading! Well done on the replies OP, she sounds like a right bitch.

ReggaeShark · 21/01/2016 15:18

I agree with Vague. I will think twice before starting a thread on here now.

hellsbellsmelons · 21/01/2016 15:19

Oh dear MNHQ - what were you thinking????

Ludoole · 21/01/2016 15:20

I didnt even know mumsnet had a facebook page Confused

AndYourBirdCanSing · 21/01/2016 15:23

Bloody hell, how rude is she!

How on earth has the OP behaved badly?!

DakotaFanny · 21/01/2016 15:23

I agree, not cool MN

ChopsticksandChilliCrab · 21/01/2016 15:23

I would have been seething, like you OP. I hope you just hand over the ten pounds but don't say anything. Then don't do playdates with this boy for a long while. Only restart if the boys want to get together and make sure money is sorted out before the meet-up.