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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

This mum is totally unreasonable isn't she? Help me word a reply!

540 replies

WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 10:32

My son went to his friends house for a play and tea yesterday. They are both 5. They went to a local soft play.

I went to pick my son up and the husband was there, all good. Had a great time.

I text the mum to say thank you etc and I had this reply...

'No problem! They had a great time at soft play and then they had some dinner there. It came to £10.00. You can give me the money at the gates tomorrow. Have a nice evening! X'

Erm what the fuck? Is that normal? What do I do?

OP posts:
startingmylifeagain · 21/01/2016 13:51

Not placemarking at all.

Mybunnyisamummy · 21/01/2016 13:52

Definitely a cheque! 😂

Meht · 21/01/2016 13:52

Hi X, I'm glad they had a great time. I'm future please could you let me know if there will be costs as I have to really plan our spending at the movement. Thanks X

And add - I will also let you know costs before I take your son with us!

Wineandrosesagain · 21/01/2016 13:53

I second the cheque.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 21/01/2016 13:54

If your DCs are good friends, you are going to have to have some future interaction, possibly for some years.

If you carry on making this into a big deal, either all these interactions are going to be excruciatingly awkward for you and possibly the DC, or you run the risk they will sever the DCs friendships.

Yes, she's acted like a knob and yes she is in the wrong but the only person that will "punished" is your DC.

Is it worth it to you? My DC are older now, at the moment and over the years some of their mates' parents have been as bonkers as a box of frogs. A lot of times over the years I have smiled and nodded and later vented to DH Grin

My advice is, take the higher ground and think of your DCs friendships - which is more important, these, or point scoring? Do you really want your DC to lose a mate over this, even if mate's mother is a bit of a dick?

PurpleDaisies · 21/01/2016 13:54

I was joking Purple. I will give her a note and make sure the air is clear.

That's the problem with written messages-there was nothing at all to suggest your post about the pound coins was a joke.

Really glad you're going to talk to your friend-firm but fair is the way to go.

zzzzz · 21/01/2016 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleBizzz · 21/01/2016 13:55

Maybe she is struggling with money. Probably jealous that you can affirm to pay for her children to go out and you didn't ask for money. Ungrateful classless piece if shit she is.

waterrat · 21/01/2016 13:59

really the polite thing would have been to just give her the money and chalk to experience. you should not have got into an argument about it - very pointless and unnecessary.

GastonsPomPomWrath · 21/01/2016 14:00

All of this is why we do not do play dates Grin

rainbowstardrops · 21/01/2016 14:00

What a cheeky mare!

I'd have had to say something too and I would have had to say about the free Legoland trip. It's beyond rude and completely double standards.

I certainly would keep her at a distance now.

Original poster
WaitrosePigeon · 21/01/2016 14:00

I think my messages to her were straight to the point to be honest. I don't think she will get confused.

They aren't struggling for money. I can't go into why that it is but the aren't.

OP posts:
ChampaleSocialist · 21/01/2016 14:01

Does she offer to pay if you take her kid out?

Herrerarerra · 21/01/2016 14:01

I bet her poor husband had a right old ear bashing last night for not taking payment from you when you picked your son up from the soft play...

PaulAnkaTheDog · 21/01/2016 14:02

Please tell me you're joking Gaston??

d270r0 · 21/01/2016 14:03

She has obviously taken it for granted that you would pay for your child. She just assumed you would... fair enough really. But in future if you take out her kid for dinner etc. Make sure you bill her too! If thats the way she wants it done.

zzzzz · 21/01/2016 14:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wharm14 · 21/01/2016 14:03

Sod pound coins or a cheque, change a tenner into 2p's and tell her you had to raid your copper jar to pay her!

BasinHaircut · 21/01/2016 14:06

That's the point though sole, if she couldn't afford it, then she didn't need to take the OP's DS. She could have taken them to soft play and then fed at home to keep costs down. If OP shouldn't presume that the woman can afford to absorb the costs of taking someone else's DC to soft play and for a meal, then she equally shouldn't assume that the OP is ok to pay it after the fact. Especially as she had no say in whether the money was spent or not.

hippowithsuncreen · 21/01/2016 14:07

Like others have said If I take someone's child out I always pay. If someone offers to take my DC out I always offer to pay but no one has ever said yes. Sometimes they have sent spending money if a day out.

DownstairsMixUp · 21/01/2016 14:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ICanSeeForMiles · 21/01/2016 14:16

not placemarking at all

What a cheeky boot! Hand over the tenner, about turn and glide off in a serene bubble OP
then go home and punch a pillow, picturing her face

hippowithsuncreen · 21/01/2016 14:17

Did they eat at soft play?. What meal for a small child costs £8.50? Ours do £3 for a meal and a drink. Even a proper food place do kids meals for £3 to £5. DD ate at harvesters inc a larger size kids meal, a drink and pudding for around a fiver

OliviaDunham · 21/01/2016 14:20

Been watching with interest - and this post has just been put on The MN Facebook page!

BluePancakes · 21/01/2016 14:23

ChampaleSocialist Does she offer to pay if you take her kid out?

Nope. The OP has said she's taken this other woman's kid to legoland and out for meals!