In thinking that i cannot ignore my brother calling my 4yr old ds a prick?

[AfroPuffs]

Will try to be brief but I've been a combination of livid, tearful, disappointed, hurt for hours now and i cannot get to sleep!

So usual sunday dinner at parents, my brother is very early twenties and usually lovely!

My 4yr old ds is also lovely but can get over-excited, get a bit OTT and on occasion is spirited, stubborn argumentative. Usual 4yr old stuff which is usually managed by removal of toys/tablet/activity etc.

My ds and my bro have a good relationship and there is a lot of banter between them i suppose...play-fighting, tickling, calling each other funny/silly names in jest.

This happened today as normal, but when me and ds were getting into brothers car to get a ride home, my brother very suddenly took offence to being called a silly name. My ds had a little bag of sweeties that his gran had given to him and in anger my brother snatched it away and was winding ds up, who was crying about his sweeties at this point.

My ds was screaming and crying and i tried to just get him in the car/calm him down. I also told my brother then to stop because its winding him up etc. As ds went to get in the car he shoved my brother and my brother then yanked off ds' woolly hat from behind and called him a prick.

G'parents had come out to the drive by this point and my mum just got my brother inside, while he yelled about my parenting skills and called me a cunt. My mum closed the front door and so i just left with ds.

My mum texted me later to check if we got home ok and said 'i dont know why you didnt let me give you a lift home". I replied that i was trying to get my ds as far away as poss from the bully! She hasnt responded and i suppose will take my brothers side as usual.

Am i wrong to be upset about this? They seem to be ignoring the whole thing and im just so upset. How can you call 4yr old a prick?! I get that my ds can get a bit carried away...but if the banter is fine with you at 2pm, then why be offended at 7pm?!

I just give up.

With your dad I wouldn't read too much into it. It's just wording, he said sorry for what happened but I wouldn't bring your parents into it now. Your brother is accountable for his own actions.

CountryRoadTakeMeHome I haven't looked at this thread since last night but the op had already been accused of starting this similar thread several times, and I imagine she probably has a few more times by now plus yours. Op has stated several times she knows nothing of the previous thread!

I'd also not read too much into what your dad said. It's good that he raised the event as ignoring it would've caused resentment.

Wait to hear from your mum and bro

Shebird while loading the car up with shopping a few weeks back I heard (I assume) a grandmother telling toddler to 'get in the fucking car before I smack you in the mouth' but as a joke (her, her daughter and the kids all laughing)

Thanks buttons, I know youre right but i was looking for a bit of support from them and recognition that im NOT to blame and my DS isnt to blame either. Maybe its silly to want or need that validation from them.

And yes its getting a bit tiresome re the "similar thread" accusation. I really have better things to do than create the same thread each week or whatever and I've been accused about 5 times now. This is my life and what's happening in it right now....its upsetting enough without being pretty much called a liar.

I do wish the amateur(and I use the word advisedly, please please don't give up your day jobs) miss marples would pack it in. If you think a thread isn't genuine, report it, instead of making snide, passive aggressive digs at someone who has had an upsetting experience and is looking for support.

Is the scenario described by OP really (immature man lashing out at small child) so outrageous and out there, that it cannot possibly happen more than once?

Sorry you've had to put up with so much nonsense on here Afro. Your DS sounds like a lovely wee boy - hope you're ok

OP, I think you're dealing with it brilliantly. It sounds to me like the response from your dad was about as supportive as it's going to get. I suspect they have been letting your brother get away with bad behaviour for all of not most of his life, and if that's right, they're just not going to say that he's in the wrong and you and your son are in the right. That's sad but I think you need to step back and find your support from others - maybe friends and MN! If it's any consolation at least your dad didn't specifically blame you or tell you to apologise. He might prefer to stay neutral to avoid making things worse - even if he thinks deep down that your brother was wrong and should apologise.

Thanks flippin and emma.

Yes dad never wants to rock the boat, but I guess his comments this evening were better than nothing! Its not him that should be apologising anyway to be fair.

A bit of distance is the way forward. I will give Sundays a miss for now and see what happens...doubt brother will apologise but until he does I wont be around him and DS will be kept away too, until such time as things are repaired and i feel sure that DS isnt going to be mistreated. Sad to say that, but DS comes first.