To not want to eat food that my mother has cooked?

[Cheeseoncrumpets]

I probably am being a bit unreasonable a bit, but to put it bluntly she is shit at cooking. Everything is either frozen or out of a packet, either overcooked or undercooked, unseasoned and served on a freezing cold plate. Her roast dinners are the absolute worst though, unseasoned cremated meat, frozen Yorkshire puddings, burned roast potatoes and veg that's been stewed for about two hours smothered in thick gloopy bisto gravy. I feel sick just thinking about it.

So, she's currently in a huff with me because I don't want to go around there and eat one of her Sunday roasts. To put it into context, we usually all go out as a family together for Sunday dinner. But today she's decided she can't be bothered today's and so instead of asking us first has gone out this morning and bought a piece of beef, some veg and has announced she will be making us all lunch instead. My heart sunk as I was looking forward to a hearty Sunday meal, cooked properly in a nice pub. So I declined and said "no thanks, you know Im not a big lover of Sunday dinner" and then got in the ear because she's bought everything in for us, and she's also enquired as to why I will eat a roast in the pub but not one of hers...

So now I'm stuck. She's not good with crticism anyway so I can't really say "sorry mum but your a shit cook" without it provoking WW3.

I know it's trivial, but am I really unreasonable to not want to eat her slop cooking eveer again?

Why dont you cook then op? you can cook dinner for everyone, you sound selfish and ungrateful.

A lot of baby boomers cook like this - I talked to one of my mums friends who doesn't, she blamed the fact that in the early years of post war rationing, meat was often 'questionable' quality, so people were encouraged to overcook it to be on the safe side, veg was also often on the turn, so worth cooking a lot to make it eadable. She also mentioned that it was common in the pre-NHS days for woman to have most of their teeth removed in their 20s, so many of the baby boomer's mums couldn't chew very well, mushy veg was therefore a good idea. (and woman apparently didn't take much meat anyway).

Their children learned to cook this way and have never questioned it.

My MIL is 70. Her broccoli and green beans liquefy when you look at them.

She thought the reason the chicken wasn't nice was it was a Sainsbos chicken not a Waitrose chicken (Waitrose being close to godly in her eyes). No MIL, it's your atrocious cooking and the gallon of Bisto chucked over it.

After 4 years of my food, even DH doesn't want to eat there any more

And yet my DM is 75 and perfectly good at cooking, doesn't cremate meat or obliterate veg and has a range beyond meat, 2 veg and wouldn't allow a Bisto granule in the house!

Oh and of the 2, it's my DM who doesn't have her own teeth - rickets in the war.

Nah, my mum is a baby boomer and she's a great cook. Not that exotic, but Sunday roasts etc perfectly cooked.

My gran on the other hand (mum's mum) really did believe in boiling vegetables for hours. And adding loads of salt. Her pastry was amazing tho...

My Husband is a Sous Chef at the best restaurant where we live. We're fans of Aunt Bessie!

On the plus side, OP, if/when you have DC, they will take to school dinners like ducks to water if they've had a history of enduring your DM's cooking and survived to tell the tale

Roast beef is supposed to rest for quite a long time. And roast potatoes do not need seasoning. And do you always make gravy from scratch then? You sound extremely snobbish and also quite misguided. Agree about the soggy veg tho, obvs.

I hate aunt Bessie. Fresh roasties and homemade Yorkshireman are just sooo much tastier. I won't go back to a pub for Sunday dinner if they serve frozen Yorkshires. But I'm a Yorkshire lass and I make them to go with loads of meals not just roasts as we love 'em.

OP for your mum though I'd suck it up in afraid. Especially as you usually go out.

If you want to change the situation then I really think for the future, you, your DH, her DH, siblings etc really should have a gentle word with her. She obviously has no idea what a crap cook she is.
Meanwhile, go to the lunch but take your own seasalt and pepper mills, bottle of tabasco, extra hot mustard or whatever condiments you like. Smother everything in your preferred seasonings. If she protests tell her it's to give it some flavour.
Your only other options are to insist on cooking the meal yourself or to go out. Not only is it a complete waste of a nice piece of beef but life is indeed much too short to eat dreadful food.
Next Christmas or birthday buy her a short cookery course somewhere.

Where are you going next week OP?

I would do anything to have my mum still around and go round for a meal. You sound incredibly ungrateful.

I can sympathise as my mil is the same. Over cooked meat and veggies and no seasoning. Cheap nasty meat bought from discount type shops. When she cooks she doesn't time everything so it gets ready together. She puts it all on at the same time, dishes it up as it's ready then bangs it all in the microwave to heat through again. Then when we start eating she asks if it's ok. Not good but I just smile and say how nice it.

I feel your pain. I really do!!! A shared meal should be a pleasure and you really shouldn't be left hoping you haven't been poisoned. My dad used to serve soup which was so old it ran away with itself. He doesn't understand that food is not good to eat when it has been left out all night and gone mouldy. It is a nightmare!

You have already upset her.

So go all out and tell her "mum, if you want the truth, I don't like your cooking".

Job done

I've been told to edit that statement to we are fans of Aunt Bessie's yorkshires, nothing else-he makes shamazing roasties. It's why I married him ;-)

Oh come on, Ham, that's below the belt. I'm sorry you lost your mum but you could say anything is better than a mum who's died.

Your advice sounds like it is just a way of saying "my cooking is better than yours". That's not the same as saying "your cooking is crap".

Point out the underdone or overdone food and that's why you don't like it.

so you will eat mass produced roast dinners (definately frozen yorkshires and veg)) from a pub but not a home cooked roast...strange!

My mum is 75 and cooks like a demon on acid. Proper lush... except her Yorkshire puddings which she over thinks.

My MIL is a conservative cook - no garlic, black pepper, herbs, wine or taste. Over the years without insulting her my SIL & I have managed to improve the taste of a Sunday roast. Just a gentle offer to help with a feel felt found suggestion to change the way things are done. Now she is happy for either of us to take charge in her kitchen - to the point where we were both asked what type of cooker we prefered when hers needed replacing.

Depends what sort of pub you go to, Potatoface. My local cooks all their own food.

"Fresh roasties and homemade Yorkshireman are just sooo much tastier."