Aibu to be devastated after committing an unintentional crime.

[devastatedcriminal999]

I had a really long week with dc's winter vomiting bug. stuck in the house all week the 1st ds 10months to start vomiting Monday was better now and also bored and frustrated. DH working long hours all week. It was my winter week off work.
DH arrived in from work and said why don't you and youngest ds take time out. We wrapped up warm and went for a walk we live in a very built up area. I decided to get myself a new top and live almost opposite the shopping centre. I said id pop over quickly treat myself to a top or two. I had no makeup on but was still dressed well not sure if that its even relevant
I went into Debenhams had a trail through their sale rails to see if there was any late bargains. I picked up various tops in my size and sale stuff was organised in sizes. I went through them decided on 3 nothing special. I went to the till paid for my items and left.
I went into the shop next door and was buying some vests for dc's. When I went to get my handbag I seen there was one tops still on hanger unpaid for on the handle of the buggy. I paid for the vests and returned to Debenhams immediately. I was at least 50 feet into the shop and I stopped to look for a member of staff to explain. A plain clothes security guard approached me pulled the top from the buggy, it was not hidden the top was in clear view I was afraid to touch it until I got to the shop. I said I am really sorry I left this top on the back of the buggy. He insisted I head to the back offices with him. I tried to protest then he said that he was entitled to use reasonable force if i did not return to discuss the matter. (I know I did leave the shop without paying for the item it was a total misunderstanding. When we got to the back office he had a huge security guard there. I was really upset, Ds 10months was really upset. He said he would have to call the guards (Ireland) I had to wait two hours even though I pleaded that I had sick DC at home, I work full time I have never stolen anything in my life etc. He kept saying that is what they all say. I showed him I had money I had cards I did not need to steal, He was so rude and saying yes tell it to the guards insisting I seen him following me and that is why I returned the top, I had only been in a shop 2 doors down and then returned to the store. Finally the guards came. The security guard said I.
I explained what happened. I had even said to the girl in the vests shop and dear I took that by mistake from Debenhams what shall I do. She said just bring it back. In hindsight I should have asked her to call security. (at also explained this at the start to the security).
The Garda turned up watched the cctv, checked my details for any criminal record and the female gard said we can see from the cctv it was unintentional.
Then the male guard said we are issuing you with a caution as you passed the till with an item, I said I did not know I had the item on me.He was very rude and said I can except the caution or get arrested. I just excepted it I was completely defeated and just wanted to get home, 10mins shopping trip turned into 3hours of hell It has really shook me.

For that 'crime' to be proved there has to be intent - get some legal advice.

I'm not even sure they can issue them outside the police station as they have to take formal statements and you do have to sign to accept it I think.

For an update I wanted to ask Debenhams to preserve the CCTV footage instead of getting Dp to visit the store' I phone their main head office as calls are recorded. I explained the situation. I called again a few hours later and was told the manager of the branch would phone me. She did and after I explained all above she said well it is our policy if you leave the store you can be detained. I said yes but I returned the store explaining exactly as it happened. She said I am not sure what you would like me to do, I said an apology would be a start and she said believe it I was shocked. I have nothing to apologies for our security guards were within their rights to detain you. Completely bypassing that it was in their store I was stopped. She then said and it was up to the Guards to decide (police) and i was making a fuss in the holding room when I should have just waited patiently on the police. I was upset crying wanting to get out but was not threatening anyone or kicking doors beating walls none of that behaviour. I phoned the police station and explained the whole situation the guard on the desk as I was so unsure if id received a caution. he was really understanding said that is terrible for me. He also said yes a standard guard cannot issued me with a caution but he can summons me for one and when I get the summons, I must arrive at the police station for an inspector to issue me with an Adult caution. I really have no idea what to do now. If I had of refused the caution I would have been brought to the police station and at the time it seemed the easier option to get home I will go and see a solicitor on Monday. Uk law and Irish law are fairly similar. I work for a company main dealings are finances. Should I go to HR. This is a nightmare.

Also I said to the guard on the desk if the police station about the female police officer saying you could see it was unintentional. Then the male gaurd (police after interviewing the store detective said I am issuing you with a caution, I protested to say it was a mistake and I returned. He then said well you did leave in the first place it was an easy way for him to wrap up the situation and i had totally had enough of cell block H. Now I just have to wait on my summons :(

Cel982 thanks for the advise, that is the situation now. Exactly WildeWoman it is pathetic the way the country is run. My sisters house was burgled once she was advised not to touch anything. It took 2 days for the guards to arrive.

OK, just from you're description of events thats sounds appalling.

I think you need to see a solicitor and also let Debenham's know what happened that day. Can you tweet them?

They are treating you as "Guilty Until Proved Innocent".

No I have not received a caution or a summons yet. I am going to see a solicitor Monday, The desk officer said he could not comment on that particular incident but that is how it would roll out if the caution was issued. Hopefully I do not get the summons though I am still going to get legal advise on the situation.

I do not think you should start tweeting about this .

If you get a summons for a caution (and you may not ) call a solicitor straight away .

Debrnhams have behaved horribly . Disgraceful.

Thank you Blu. I am definitely not going to use social media to vent. I am really mortified by the whole situations. I literally cried all the way out of the store through the shopping centre afterwards. I am sure people thought I was crazy.

prh47bridge thank you so much

I'd make a complaint to head office - I have a suspicion that the Irish stores are covered by the London office. I'd hope they'd be unhappy about this situation and the responses on here. It's a genuine mistake many have made so it's a shame the store acted this way. I know someone who worked there and in your shoes may try writing to the CEO.

I really can't see how Debenhams can claim their guard had a right to detain you inside the store. He would have had that right if he'd stopped you outside the store, but the fact that you came back into the store with the goods would seem to indicate that you had no intention to deprive the store of them permanently, which seems to be the criterion in Irish law. And I really don't buy his story that he was following you, as he would have stopped you before you had even reached the second shop if that was the case. He'd never have given you the chance to hide there or get rid of the goods.

I'm glad you're seeing a solicitor. If he agrees there was no right to stop you, ask him whether there is a potential claim for false imprisonment. It may not be worth your while pursuing a claim, but I think the manager and security guard deserve to be worried that you will.

OP I once did something similar, I had bought a necklace in Sainsbury's and attached it to the trolley so it wouldn't get lost.
I was mortified to discover when I got to the car that it was still attached to the trolley having been completely forgotten by me. Thankfully I was in the car park so I packed away the rest of the shopping and went straight back in to pay. No problems from anyone

You've done nothing wrong, it was an honest oversight and they have been very heavy handed.

Hugs OP, one day you will look back and laugh- honestly

You poor POOR wee thing

Your username is not at all accurate pet - you're no criminal, you made an honest mistake that you tried to rectify because you are an honest person - and the reward for your honesty was that they've treated you shockingly badly throughout this. I know that they see shoplifters do the craziest things & use any excuse in the book & very frequently use prams/their children to help them them steal, but they'd no business eating the head off you (to put it mildly...) for what was so clearly an honest mistake! And as others have said, what sort of shoplifter comes back to the shop wanting to put an item back/pay for it & apologise (as opposed to the whole "I've lost my receipt but I want a refund" thing...)?!

I think that as well as pressing to have the CCTV of the incident preserved, it might be worth contacting the shopping centre to see if they have any to prove that the security guard was telling a pack of lies about you going back to the store because you saw him following you. As a PP suggested, trying to get hold of the lady in the other shop to see if she'll confirm your version of events might also be as well.

Consulting a lawyer is absolutely the way to go, whether or not you receive a summons to be cautioned. I've no idea of procedure in UK or in Eire, but if it's possible to have solicitor attend the Garda Station with you if told to attend about a caution, I would.

The response from the store manager was utterly callous & I think that you'd do well to escalate that complaint. Criticising you for being upset in the circumstances is particularly unpleasant & uncalled for - spiteful, even, really. Again, I know shoplifters will turn on the waterworks & have a sob-story (or three) to tell, but there's a difference between those kinds of forced histrionics & someone in genuine distress.

If you've got a sympathetic [line] manager &/or HR person it might be worth letting them know what happened? It's not as if the Garda will be coming up to your workplace & hauling you away if they DO try to caution you, so I'd think it's very much up to you to do what feels comfortable when it comes to telling work - though possibly someone who knows better will be along presently to tell you otherwise!

I know it is not The MN Way, but I do wish I could give you a hug, or at least some snuggles from my cats or something. Because that was a horrible thing to happen to you & the horribleness is getting dragged out a bit.

Am v glad your DH is being supportive & hope that you feel better soon. The moral highground is so much yours you could go full "Sound of Music" opening on it. And if you're Maria von Trapp (& I suppose making dresses from curtains would save you from great lumps of store detectives acting the big man) we all know who the security man & nasty Garda are, right...?

Please be gentle with yourself, you've been through a lot. Best of luck getting it all sorted

Hey OP, any news?

In order to prove you shop lifted, they have to prove intent, the fact that CCTV shows you had not intended to shop lift and also returned to the store, i do not understand how they can say you have been cautioned.

Thank goodness you have not signed anything, and I would be writing a formal complaint in about this policeman!.

I have to wait until I receive my summons. Then I will have the chance to explain my situation to the Superintendent with a solicitor in tow. After I contacted head office they sent me a reply to say that the information was now passed onto the manager of the store to preserve Cctv and I would get a call soon from the store manager. I never got a call back from the management of the said store. Solicitors letter been sent by family solicitors to preserve cctv. I don't really want to say much more as it's early days. Thank you all for the support it made me feel a lot better.

Im glad you got legal advice. Fingrs crossed for you

Surely the fact that you returned to the shop proves that it was an accident otherwise you could have just kept it and saved yourself the hassle. In fact, after reading this I would be put off from returning an item.

Doesn't seem like common sense was applied here, especially as you bought other items from the shop. I would write to head office to complain. It is not the way to treat someone who is trying to be honest.

I have done this before, in fact I actually carried a hanger with a top on from M&S to Next, looked down and walked back into M&S and put the item back. No one said a thing! This was years ago and I must've been walking around in a dream!!

Also, why are the police wasting their time on non criminals like this. The whole thing is a joke. Of course you were upset, anyone would be.

This looks very bad for Debenhams. You are a customer who has been treated extremely badly for having the integrity to return an item you mistakenly took, having already bought other items from their shop at the same time.

I was falsely accused of being a shoplifter at our corner shop. I went there to get something, I has DS2 in the pushchair and I was told that I couldn't come in, I was barred because they had reason to believe I had been using the pushchair to steal from them. It was untrue, obviously there was no evidence and it was really embarrassing. They never called the police though. I contacted the manager who said it had all been a mistake, they had problems with theft but I was not on their suspect list and I could come back whenever I wanted. Yes because I really wanted toif that was upsetting I can only imagine how bad your experience was OP. No advice but sympathy.

Hang on, so you walked out of the shop with an unpaid item.

Nothing happened.

You walked back in & the stopped ypu?

For what?

Walking around a shop with an item of clothing on a buggy?

So sorry this has happened to you. I've had a run in with security guards in Debenhams before - they are not a very professional company unfortunately. The security guard attempted to take the pram from me with my baby sleeping inside. A little tip - I tried phoning / emailing the head office to complain but they are pretty useless and said everything has to ge sorted out at a local level. Since I was terrified of going back to that store, I telephoned the nearest store and asked for the duty manager. She reviewed the CCTV and agreed that the treatment was appalling. Staff involved were disciplined. Is there another store nearby whose manager you could speak to? I would definitely complain to the police as well. Disgraceful treatment! :-(