Aibu to be devastated after committing an unintentional crime.

[devastatedcriminal999]

I had a really long week with dc's winter vomiting bug. stuck in the house all week the 1st ds 10months to start vomiting Monday was better now and also bored and frustrated. DH working long hours all week. It was my winter week off work.
DH arrived in from work and said why don't you and youngest ds take time out. We wrapped up warm and went for a walk we live in a very built up area. I decided to get myself a new top and live almost opposite the shopping centre. I said id pop over quickly treat myself to a top or two. I had no makeup on but was still dressed well not sure if that its even relevant
I went into Debenhams had a trail through their sale rails to see if there was any late bargains. I picked up various tops in my size and sale stuff was organised in sizes. I went through them decided on 3 nothing special. I went to the till paid for my items and left.
I went into the shop next door and was buying some vests for dc's. When I went to get my handbag I seen there was one tops still on hanger unpaid for on the handle of the buggy. I paid for the vests and returned to Debenhams immediately. I was at least 50 feet into the shop and I stopped to look for a member of staff to explain. A plain clothes security guard approached me pulled the top from the buggy, it was not hidden the top was in clear view I was afraid to touch it until I got to the shop. I said I am really sorry I left this top on the back of the buggy. He insisted I head to the back offices with him. I tried to protest then he said that he was entitled to use reasonable force if i did not return to discuss the matter. (I know I did leave the shop without paying for the item it was a total misunderstanding. When we got to the back office he had a huge security guard there. I was really upset, Ds 10months was really upset. He said he would have to call the guards (Ireland) I had to wait two hours even though I pleaded that I had sick DC at home, I work full time I have never stolen anything in my life etc. He kept saying that is what they all say. I showed him I had money I had cards I did not need to steal, He was so rude and saying yes tell it to the guards insisting I seen him following me and that is why I returned the top, I had only been in a shop 2 doors down and then returned to the store. Finally the guards came. The security guard said I.
I explained what happened. I had even said to the girl in the vests shop and dear I took that by mistake from Debenhams what shall I do. She said just bring it back. In hindsight I should have asked her to call security. (at also explained this at the start to the security).
The Garda turned up watched the cctv, checked my details for any criminal record and the female gard said we can see from the cctv it was unintentional.
Then the male guard said we are issuing you with a caution as you passed the till with an item, I said I did not know I had the item on me.He was very rude and said I can except the caution or get arrested. I just excepted it I was completely defeated and just wanted to get home, 10mins shopping trip turned into 3hours of hell It has really shook me.

That is so bad - of them.

I don't know about Ireland but in the UK theft doesn't occur unless you attempt to 'permanently deprive' someone of their goods.

I hope you feel better soon, it is terrible to be accused of something you have not done.

Incidentally a couple of years ago I got back to my car and discovered a shirt hanging from my supermarket trolley - I went straight back in, said to security 'forgot to pay for this' walked to the til and paid.

Had I heard your story first I might not have returned.

Do write tot he shop's head office.

Unfortunately OP, I've worked in retail and the 'I forgot I had the item/s' is a common excuse / ruse used by shoplifters. Women with buggy's are another common way of stealing. You get the mum sticking items in bags hanging off the back of the buggy or you get the 'my kid must have grabbed it' excuse. You hear every story under the sun and you get immune to them.

Also theft affects profits which affects bonuses and pay rises for staff. When you don't earn that much, every penny helps. When you see these people who come in and think that stealing from a large company has no consequences, it gets your back up as a member of staff because it does have consequences.

Sorry you had a bad time

SevenOfNineTrue

But how many people come back in to the shop with the items?

SevenOfNineTrue - Yes but the OP was in the shop at the time she was detained. If, as claimed, the security guard had followed her he should have detained her outside the shop. If he had done so it would have been very difficult for the OP to prove that she did not intend to take the top so accepting a caution would probably have been the sensible thing to do. However, the OP was detained inside the shop. That immediately gives us reasonable doubt about her intent in my view.

devastated - A lot of the advice on here is based on UK law. Whilst there are strong similarities between UK and Irish law they are not the same. Cautions in particular are significantly different. I would therefore treat the advice on this thread with caution and book an appointment to see a lawyer.

This is so easily done, I can't even tell you how many times when I've been pushing the pram with one hand, struggling with a basket full of heavy items with the other, trying to soothe a grumpy baby with toys/snacks and had to put stuff over the handle/on the hood then subsequently completely forgotten until somebody has pointed it out to me at the check out. It is mortifying. I

Not to mention when I have forgotten said toys/snacks and used to stupidly give my baby my shopping items to play with whilst she was screaming bloody murder, just so I could finish my shopping....then walked out only to realise baby is still holding toothbrush and I've not paid. I've never stolen a thing in my life!

Now I just let her scream (or remember to pack things) and don't buy more than I can fit in a basket (difficult when needing lots of things - I don't drive) The feeling of being looked at like a common thief is super upsetting but to an outsider well they can't tell the difference can they (hmm well you'd think they could actually???) A security guard should know better to be honest, why be fair to him. Like in the case of squiggleirl. They are taught to profile, it's their job. This security guard is clearly $hit and in the wrong profession. Complete misreading and over-reaction here, end.

How awful for you op. I would have been a complete mess.

To be kept for 2 hours with a young child and a sick one at home, especially when you are innocent, is disgusting in my opinion. I wouldn't be able to let that go lightly. Not everyone understands what it's like to look after a stressed out child and try to shop - mistakes easily happen. You returned the item therefore you were not going to steal it??? Honesty should not be met with this level of aggression! You may as well have stolen it!

I am actually quite angry for you. Being a good person gets you nothing in this world.

Okay, calming down now.

sashh

As I said, security guards hear it all so they will sometimes not even listen to valid explanations.

prh47bridge

My answer was not intended to imply that the OP did anything wrong. She did what most of us would do on discovering such a mistake. My point is the security staff can get very jaded and some like to play the 'big man' and common sense goes out of the window.

Thats terrible, you were honest and went back to apologise and pay, and thats what you get.

I'd complain to head office.

They were being complete cunts. Who steels something only to go back and try and give it back? Sad man on a massive power trip calling the police.

But how many people come back in to the shop with the items

Not the same thing, but when I worked in retail, we had a woman come into the shop, take an item of clothing straight off the hanger, took it to customer service and said she wanted a refund and didn't have the receipt.

She didn't get one (this time) because obviously she'd been spotted. I'm not doubting the veracity of the OP, but shoplifters will try almost anything and security guards will have heard it all.

I think Debenhams have just got themselves a very bad name. TBH.

The OP has clearly stated she's in the Republic of Ireland. I know people are being helpful, but repeated references to the CPS and the CRB and so on simply don't apply here, and are just muddying the waters.

OP, you have not received an official police caution as of now. It's possible you may be summoned to the Garda station to be given one, in which case I would recommend you don't accept it and seek legal advice instead. I think it's far more likely that you won't hear anything further from the Gardai about this.

A caution is not disclosed in a Garda vetting report in ROI, so even if you did get one it shouldn't impact you in the future. But you still don't deserve to get one for what was a simple mistake that you tried to remedy immediately.

Shoplifters will try almost anything you say???
Pretty dumb shoplifter who would back to the store with the item that they had taken!!!!

Yes Dolly, I agree..."I am just returning this item I stole because I don't like it and I'd quite like to steal something else"....

You poor thing - I would have been very shaken too.

It's easily done - I walked out of Iceland carrying a full basket of unpaid goods. I realised what I had done and immediately returned and paid for them.

Hope you soon feel better. There was no need for such heavy handed behaviour.

OP you shouldn't feel bad.....if anything, you were too honest.

I've done exactly the same thing at TK Maxx's but I just took the item back in and placed it back on the rail.

If I've learnt anything from this post, it's if it happens again, do exactly what I did last time.

I agree that the OP needs Irish law advice and that speculation based on the English system is interesting but ultimately meaningless. So I do agree with you, prh47bridge but if you are indeed a lawyer as a pp mentioned, please could you be a bit more careful about making references to "UK law" in this context? We have 3 different systems in the UK: England and Wales, Scots law and NI law. Certain legislation does apply UK-wide and could feasibly be described as "UK law" (eg the Civil Aviation Act) but crime has its own separate law and procedures in each of the systems.

Oh god devastated- a similar thing happened to me when I left a 99p item on the hood of my pram. I'd spent about £20 on products and genuinely missed the thing on my pram. I walked out oblivious, by the time i noticed the item security had already come for me along with two police officers. I was taken to the offices with my baby and the manager allowed separated members of staff to come in and look at me whilst i was crying hysterically as the store wanted to press charges and I was worried about my job, CBS checked every year!!! Police watched CCTV and said it was obvious I hadn't intended to take the item, at no point was it concealed. The security guy was incredibly rude and dismissive of me and aggravated by the polices support of me. No further action was taken but I was banned from all stores for life, there is no way on gods earth I'd step in there again.

I have since learned that in such stores monetary bonuses are given to staff that report theft, which I assume is the reason nobody warned me (brand new mum with tiny baby!) that I had left item on my pram. The incident was actioned on the second I left the store, the police were already present as they had finished attending to another incident in store.

I absoloutly know how you feel. I felt sick with worry for days, so much so my husband took the next day off work. I couldn't sleep and literally felt sick for a week. I didn't go back into town for weeks and my heart still skips a beat whilst in shops. I would without doubt chase up conditions of caution. I would start by talking with citizens advice, they will be able to offer you a number of a solicitor who will give you half an hour free advice.

I hope you feel better soon, two years later I'm still gutted about what happened. My husband, parents, sister and father in law are the only people that know I was so embarassed.

I gave my DS a toy to hold in Sainsburys and he managed to drop it down inside his pram and I didn't find it again until I put him inside his pram the next day! I kept the tag and when I next visited shop (about 2 months later) I took it to Customer Services to pay the £1 for it. The woman looked at me like I was mad and said "why have you come back to pay?!". I said " because he stole it!" pointing to 8m baby! If I'd been dragged into back office and given a police caution I would have been devastated too! Sorry you got treated so badly for doing the right thing OP.

Shoplifters will try almost anything you say???
Pretty dumb shoplifter who would back to the store with the item that they had taken!!!!

Read my post again. Some security staff will not listen to reason.

seven I think that reply was to my post. If they think that shoplifters aren't brazen or stupid enough to return to the shop where they've stolen things from, with the item they've stolen, those posters have never worked in retail.

(I'm not talking about the OP btw)

Are you for real Dolly ? ,Devestated's only crime was being too honest. I highly doubt 'real shop lifters' have a sudden attack of conscience.

IMO someone who returns to the shop on their own accord and goes to pay for the item does not deserve to be made to feel like a criminal IMO.

Reading the OP is going to put people off being honest in that situation and I'm sure that's not in the shop's interests.

Sounds pretty unsettling OP, don't beat yourself up about it. You did the right thing by going back, you shouldn't have been treated like that.

I once somehow managed to get a skimpy bikini hooked onto the back of my hood in Topshop. Obviously the alarms went off but luckily the security guard believed me that it was an accident! It would've been an odd way to steal something

A guard was shot dead in Ireland a few months ago responding to a violent 'domestic'. He was on his own. The wife/girlfriend was struggling for her life after also being shot.

Yet they send three gobsheens out to a woman and a baby being held in Debenhams for suspected theft of a fucking top?

Who the fuck pays their wages?

Stupidity knows no bounds.

Two dead following garda intervention

I've linked the article.