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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So.. today the school sent my DS on a trip i didn't give permission for him to go on...

258 replies

Skullyton · 14/01/2016 17:02

My friend was picking my 9yo and 6yo up after school today, and when she got there, DS wasn't there, and they told her he had gone on the school trip.

The School trip i never filled the form out for, so hadn't given consent for him to go on.

It was only a trip to the local college for a panto, but DS has ASD and needs full time 1:1, and plays scare him, so he was quite adamant when the forms for it were sent home that he didn't want to go, so i never returned the permission slip.

One of the office staff this morning asked me in passing if he was going, and i said "No, i never filled out the permission slip"

So to say i'm a little annoyed is an understatement. Yes he was safe, he was with his 1:1, but i did not give consent for him to go, he should not have been off the school premises!

I called the school as soon as i knew and left a message, but that was at 4.15, and no-ones called back.

How do i approach this in the morning?

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 14/01/2016 19:21

it's not up to the school to take him because they didn't want him to miss out!!
They had no written permission. They are in deep shit.

Greengardenpixie · 14/01/2016 19:24

A child would not be allowed to go or consent would have been found by phoning the parent. I agree about the blanket permission. In the school i am in they do this for local things. You are saying that you had a big form to fill in. Did they not query the money? Very odd. Make an appointment to see the head. Explain that you just want to raise this to make aware that an error has been made then put it behind you. Something similar happened to me and thats what i did. The head was very concerned and i would like to think that nothing would happen like that again. She would have pulled up the person concerned.

Fifi10 · 14/01/2016 19:26

Having worked in schools for the past 10 years (and as a safeguarding lead) I can categorically say that you are not allowed to take a child out of school unless you have either:
signed consent form from the parent
verbal consent (eg if the slip gets lost)
a blanket 'local visits' form filled in at the start of the academic year

None of these were the case, YADNBU!! There is no such thing as an 'opt out' only permission form.

The school could get into a lot of trouble for doing this as it amounts to a safeguarding failure. Another issue which I would raise with school is that as your child has identified additional needs (ASD) an individual risk assessment should have been carried out for every single trip that he goes on and that this should ordinarily be shared with you as his parent, this covers eventualities such as him running off, him becoming distressed, the fact that he should have his 1:1 with him at all times. In my role as safeguarding lead this was standard practice and we got the parents to sign off the risk assessment as well as the permission slip itself, usually a minimum of 2 weeks before the trip itself.

Tomorrow when you talk to school I would raise the lack of permission, whether a risk assessment was carried out, and also who the schools Educational Visits Coordinator (EVC) is as they ultimately are the person who should sign off on the visit taking place and take account of individual children with additional needs and the provision for them. All schools have a duty to have a named EVC.

Youarentkiddingme · 14/01/2016 19:30

Wether OP failed to return slip due to no permission or forgetting or the dog ate it is entirely irrelevant.
That's why children are reminded over and over to return forms. They cannot go on the trip without them.

We had to get a parent who came in with child and gave verbal permission for trip out stating she'd lost form to wait whilst we loaded up computer and printed another form for her to sign.

Original poster
Skullyton · 14/01/2016 19:30

Thank you Fifi!

OP posts:
Fifi10 · 14/01/2016 19:33

No problem, things like this make me unreasonably angry as it is such a basic thing to get right. Glad that your DS coped so well with the day

passivesonata · 14/01/2016 19:33

If it's local then they might not need to send a new letter home asking for permission, schools often ask you to sign a slip when the child starts which gives permission for local trips without needing a separate consent form.

Wileycoyote · 14/01/2016 19:38

Did he cope ok with it or not? I have an ASD son too and I wouldn't be too upset if it had been done by mistake - they do a great job with him at school, his 1:1 is lovely and I wouldn't want to sour that relationship.

Original poster
Skullyton · 14/01/2016 19:41

Wiley, he enjoyed it, and i have made a huge thing about pointing out that he told me he really didn't want to go, but ended up enjoying it, and i'm proud and really pleased that he did enjoy it.

But again, that is beside the point.

It doesn't excuse the fact that this is a huge safeguarding fail, he should not have gone without my permission.

OP posts:
Shineyshoes10 · 14/01/2016 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theimpossiblegirl · 14/01/2016 19:44

They shouldn't have taken him, but if they have general consent forms on file, they may not need another form.

I don't understand why you didn't ask the school what would happen with your son if the rest of his class (and staff) were all going on a trip. Personally, I would want to know, especially as your child has SEN and probably couldn't just be put in another class.

DamedifYouDo · 14/01/2016 19:44

TBH this would make me question the general level of safeguarding within the school.

Dottydadoo · 14/01/2016 19:45

Gosh - I know it shouldn't have happened OP and you are understandably angry but the fact is that it will be a miscommunication or misunderstanding. It wouldn't have been done on purpose or to disrespect your wishes.

We had a similar incident recently at our school where a child went on the bus by mistake - the parent happened to be collecting another child when the bus came back at lunchtime and gave the teacher a mouthful in front the class. Apparently the teacher was absolutely gutted, shaking etc. My heart went out to her when I heard this going around the playground.

Everyone makes mistakes - we all have and will again.

We have a catch all form which we sign at the beginning of the year to give our permission for all school trips. Trips are then on a opt out basis.

I hope you get it sorted out.

cansu · 14/01/2016 19:46

Are you sure you didn't sign a general permission slip when he started at the school? Some schools have these, allowing them to take kids to places locally. I also have children with Asd and I think I would err on the side of caution. Look at the results first. Did he enjoy himself? If he did I might decide to say nothing as you are likely to have other issues you will have to go ape shit about over the years to come. If he was unhappy or upset, you could ask why they decided to take him. I doubt it was done maliciously. Probably miscommunication or misplaced concern about him feeling left out. Given he was safe and OK, I would stay cool about this.

cansu · 14/01/2016 19:48

By the way I don't think it is a safeguarding issue. He was supervised and safe. The word safeguarding is often flung around on here somewhat liberally.

Original poster
Skullyton · 14/01/2016 19:48

omg, will people read the thread!!

THE SCHOOL DOES NOT HAVE A GENERAL PERMISSION SLIP.

EVERY SINGLE TRIP HAS TO HAVE A SIGNED/DATED PERMISSION SLIP.

OP posts:
Original poster
Skullyton · 14/01/2016 19:50

cansu, it IS a safeguarding issue.

OP posts:
DamedifYouDo · 14/01/2016 19:53

CANSU - it is 100% a safeguarding issue.

bloodyteenagers · 14/01/2016 19:53

He shouldn't have gone. Someone messed up big time.
Even the grasping at straws suggestions of his 1:1 needed for ratio's is a safe guarding issue. The 1:1 shouldn't be counted for a group. They are there for that child.

Having 1:1 in the school, in an enclosed usual environment is different
To doing this out in public with people and cars. The plans that person will have will be for in school not to stop the child bolting into the raid

Original poster
Skullyton · 14/01/2016 19:55

I cant believe how many people are apparently ok with this.

Do you understand that Consent is NOT implied by Omission?

OP posts:
Fifi10 · 14/01/2016 19:55

It is a safeguarding issue.

I'm not implying malice or that the school willingly sought out to cause harm, but where you do not have consent or have risk assessed etc. it is a safeguarding issue regardless of whether the child had a good time or not.

bonbonbonbon · 14/01/2016 19:57

YANBU. In addition to all the points made by PP, it occurs to me that if he is not on the list, then when they loaded the kids back onto the bus to go home, they won't have read his name off the register to make sure all the kids were accounted for. Bringing a kid on a trip who isn't on the list (or the list specified they aren't going), can't be ticked off and could be accidentally left behind.

trinity0097 · 14/01/2016 19:58

Legally no permission has to be sought for trips within the school day that are not risky. Most schools do ask, but no need.

GruntledOne · 14/01/2016 19:58

Of course it's a safeguarding issue, cansu. OP's child was taken without her permission. Moreover, she had very good reasons around his mental and indeed physical wellbeing for refusing permission. The criterion for deciding that isn't whether he's supervised and safe. If, for instance, the school allowed a child to leave school with a stranger, he may well be supervised by that stranger and safe, it would still be a safeguarding issue.

cansu · 14/01/2016 19:58

Do you think he was unsafe? Do you think he was unsupported? If the answers to these questions is yes, then I agree. If he was safe, supervised and supported, enjoyed himself then what is the problem?? You seem to me to be unreasonably angry to the degree that you are getting cross with complete strangers who have a different point of view! I understand the additional issues involved when your child has special needs. however it is v important to pick your battles and look at the whole picture. Every single issue I have raised with my children's schools and teachers have been because I thought it was important for their well being. If this had happened with my child, I would have been concerned if they had taken them against my wishes deliberately or if my child had't been adequately supported. This does not seem to be the case here tbh.

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