Sil and designer clothes obsession

[Jayep]

Probably am being U. Dh accused me of being bitchy about it earlier.

My sil had her first baby (girl) 8 months ago. I don't think I've ever seen the poor little thing in anything high street. Designer stuff (think Dior, Chloe, Burberry). This isn't personal, my sil has always been v lovely to me. I just can't see the point. Even her changing bag is Gucci or something similar. The excuse that is constantly trotted out on her behalf is that it took her 3 years to have her and why not. I just find it a bit odd. I don't think it's that she buys labels for the sake of it because most of it isn't obviously branded if that makes sense. Dh thinks I'm being unreasonable, but am I?

Wait what...she earns 90k?!

That's a whole different realm of earning.

*poor little thing"

wrong adjective there OP

is it cruel to dress people in designer gear then?
shallow, possibly yes
cruel, NO

Why shallow?

As a pp said at a certain level of income £188 for let's face it, a very special dress (she was a bridesmaid) is the same as £30 for someone earning less.

And the sweatshop argument has a lot of merit. At least more expensive clothes are unlikely to have been made in appalling conditions she says typing on her iPhone

My sister spends money unnecessarily on kids trifling things and it breaks my heart for the family.

It breaks your heart that she buys nice things for her kids?

Unless the kids are going without food, water etc (in which case it's nothing like the OPs case), that's ridiculous.

Designer for adults, not shallow if you can afford it- as the quality last and you get "value per wear" and it boosts your self esteem

designer for babies, that will be worn out in 3 months as they grow so fast- yeah I judge

My IL do this, buy €70 new balance trainers for a new born that cant even fucking walk yet

waste o money, hey each to their own

I think it looks chavvy. Regardless of what someone earns.

Chavvy? Perhaps screamingly obvious logos head to toe might cheapen a look, yes. But there is a difference in a something being called 'designer' because it's got a prancing pony on it and 'designer' because it's a quality piece of clothing that has been well designed and made, whether or not by a famous 'brand'.
Judging by the dress the SIL bought I'd say she prefers the latter.

I think it looks chavvy. Regardless of what someone earns.

And if the OP said anything along those lines it's definitely bitchy and her dh is right

If she can afford it I don't see a problem my boys have ways had primark and George stuff and hand me downs but then I, m not on a joint income of £180,k each to their own and that bridesmaids dress is lovely!

'Are your nieces and nephews hungry or neglected in any way? If so you may have a point. Otherwise, how on earth can your heart break?'

No, the kids aren't neglected, but there are things that they actually need (and ask for) but don't get, but do get dozens of pairs of shoes and endless clothes. I really think it's a form of OCD/hoarding.

leelu at no point has the OP said anything similar. That the baby is going without or that her sil is hoarding.

How is it anywhere near similar?

Also my ds wants a horse. He isn't getting one. Not buying kids everything they ask for isn't heart breaking.

They're not loaded ... I know sil is on £90k because she told my dh and her husband is probably on the same I'd imagine

The real revelation on this thread wasnt how much SIL spends on her baby's clothing but that OP doesn't consider a joint yearly income of £180k "loaded".

How the other half live.

Katenka - where did I say it's similar?

An where did I say that kids should get whatever they ask for?

Please don't go off on a tangent that's not there.

There are things that they need (I won't go into outing-specifics) that they are not getting, but getting a lot of unnecessary stuff. Therefore, I can sympathise with the OP. That's all.

I get what you're saying.

You said this ^^

Then started talking about a completely different situation.

If the kids in your situation aren't getting what they need (you mentioned what they want) then it is a problem.

The only person going off on a tangent is you. Comparing your situation to the OPs

Katenka - saying that you understand someone's point of view is not the same as saying their situation is the same as yours.

OP said her SIL buys a lot of designer gear for a baby and doesn't see the need. I said that my sister buy a lot of clothes and shoes her kids don't need even though the kids need other things.

You're right, they're not exactly the same. But I didn't mean for you to take the two situations to be exactly the same.

I didn't realise you could only offer a point of view if your situation is exactly the same as OPs.

Their household income is £180K - so they can prob easily afford it and it gives them joy.

Very different scenario to household income £26K and it all going on credit cards and wonga loans.

YABU and need to shut up. They are happy.

I didn't realise you could only offer a point of view if your situation is exactly the same as OPs.

I didn't say that though. I said it's not the same. At no point did I say you couldn't have an opinion unless it was the same.

As I said, you told the OP you know how she feels, except your situation is different. You compared them when there is no comparison.

That's what is said. The two situations are different so you don't really know how she feels. You are concerned for the kids.

The op has no concern for her niece.

Whilst I can see your point - I wouldn't do that either - if you keep mentioning it/laugh at her behind her back then that is unreasonable. I would definitely stop now that your DH has accused you of being bitchy!

She clearly gets a lot of pleasure out of doing this and it sounds like their household income high enough to justify it (as long as she isn't upscaling to a similar degree every where else!).

DH and I have a similar income and whilst I wouldn't dream of spending that much on children's clothing (or adults) but we've definitely spent more than average on booze, food, electrical gadgets and most recently cars...less in others. We've also made saving a priority and I like to think we give generously to charity too. It's all a balance and unless you are concerned that your SIL isn't managing her money well overall...

But Katenka - I didn't say they are the same!

I didn't say 'I know how the OP feels'. I said 'I get what you're saying'. That does not mean I am comparing the two situations. That means OP has described a situation and I see what she means. Because I can read. And compute what people are saying. If I did not have a sister that bought a lot of unnecessary stuff, it would not have precluded me from getting what the the OP is saying.

It really sounds like you're annoyed that anyone has expressed a view that is different to yours.

Leelu6, I think your heart is breaking for yourself.

Maggie, with all due respect, you know nothing about me or my life, so what you think about me is irrelevant to me

I can understand why you may be a little bit urmming about it as being in expensive clothes usually means they aren't allowed to dirty them
But
Yabu... It's not your child or your money so you don't really have a leg to stand on

Ohhh I want to buy my dd this

www.childrensalon.com/mayoral-pink-camper-van-print-jersey-tunic-dress-126783.html

She would love it.

I agree that the dress (however expensive and pure-silk-dry-clean-only etc etc) is deeply chavvy-looking. It screams 'Accessorise me with a huge floral headband in case someone thinks I'm a BOY!'

I can't get excited about the designer baby clothes in general, as long as they're comfortable and don't inhibit the child's movements. or appear to be buying into some weird 1950s fantasy like the gruesome gear they stick Prince George in for public appearances.