Sil and designer clothes obsession

[Jayep]

Probably am being U. Dh accused me of being bitchy about it earlier.

My sil had her first baby (girl) 8 months ago. I don't think I've ever seen the poor little thing in anything high street. Designer stuff (think Dior, Chloe, Burberry). This isn't personal, my sil has always been v lovely to me. I just can't see the point. Even her changing bag is Gucci or something similar. The excuse that is constantly trotted out on her behalf is that it took her 3 years to have her and why not. I just find it a bit odd. I don't think it's that she buys labels for the sake of it because most of it isn't obviously branded if that makes sense. Dh thinks I'm being unreasonable, but am I?

There are lots of things that others spend their time/money on that I find rather pointless (e.g. watching motor racing, collecting celebrity memorabilia, putting babies in designer clothes, building cathedrals out of matchsticks), but jealousy plays no part in my views on those issues

Oddly however I have never seen a thread criticising any one for watching motor racing, collecting celebrity memorabilia or building cathedrals out of matchsticks but threads criticising someone for how much they spend on clothes, shoes or handbags pop up regularly.

You've had a rough ride on this thread OP but you must have known that, even if you were trying to be light hearted. If SIL and her DH have a joint salary of 180K it's small wonder she is spending so lavishly on her daughter. Must admit I gulped a bit at £188 for that little dress. How old is this child - I think you mentioned she's a baby. The have very pretty bridesmaid type dresses in Monsoon for a fraction of the post, and the baby will be grown out of all this stuff in no time unless they're planning another and then it might be a boy.

Ah well each to their own. I'm old fashioned and don't like to see very small babies in jeans (too uncomfortable) and trendy clothes but that's just me. You'd better start saving up for the child's birthday present!!

Sounds like she was really worried she would never conceive and is now overjoyed at having a baby. And the joy manifests itself in the clothes.

It's not obligatory to spend the least amount of money possible on everything. There is a point to paying for more quality/beauty/ethics. True, designer labels don't always tick those boxes, but there is more to life than lowest cost/lowest common denominator.

Just as well some people do this kind of thing, keeps other folk in work. As do people who redecorate regularly/get highlights or manicures/eat out for pleasure/buy books/go to the cinema.

Plus, if she ebays stuff, it could end up cheaper than you think. My colleague was once amazed that I bought a Paul Smith handbag for £400, used it every day for a year and then sold it for £500. At first he couldn't believe I'd pay £400 for a handbag, then he couldn't believe that someone paid me £100 for using it for a year.

There are worse things. At the end of the day if we lived in a world where everyone went a bit daft over baby clothes it would hardly end in thermonuclear war would it? unless all the people who would prefer babies dressed in mao suits decide to do something about the decandent baby adorners

Someone had spent money they have on stuff they want

*has

'they are not loaded but both on 90k'

Wow. If you don't consider that loaded I'm surprised you are batting an eyelid at some designer baby clothes!

Either way yabu

I laughed when saw that dress. Asda was selling this dress for more than 10 times cheaper. They used to have it in ivory too, so pretty much the same as the designer one.
Oh well.

They're not loaded? To be honest if our household income was £180k I'd probably spend much more than I do on children's clothes.

I really don't get this reverse designer clothes snobbery. Ok children like North West wor KK dresses like she's not a child and she's just stepped of the catwalk, but as you've said op most of what your niece wears you wouldn't even know it was designer. So what her parents can afford it?

Honestly to echo the pp what is normal clothes, to me yeah it's stuff from peacocks, that's cos I like peacocks, to my best friend its river island, to someone else her go to shop is new look, to my goddaughters mum its victora beckham, self portrait, and other collections you'd buy at selfridges and Harrods. But she earns a lot and her boyfriend is an filmmaker.

The I wonder what DN is wearing today comment might be you putting your own agenda on it, I quite often get what's apps of look what I brought my girl from my sister won't she look cute, and i often go to sisters and go oh why don't you put this dress on, or mum will call me and go *sophie was wearing pink dress that her mum got her from peacocks last week. It's not a look at her its all designer it's just oh it's a new dress it looked nice on. You've interpatied it as let's all laugh at sil.

To earn £90k your sil must work hard, why the hell not spend money any way she likes she can afford it.

But it honestly does seem to be this ohh designer clothes they should spend their money in other ways. What's it got to do with anyone else. Why judge anyone on where they buy their clothes.

OP you sound envious. & criticising your DH's sister to him? Not surprised he said you were bitchy. Tbh if my SIL lavished designer clothes on her baby I would think "naff" - but I certainly wouldn't say it to OH (did you want him to agree with you, if so why.?). & I couldn't be stirred up enough to create a thread about it just because my OH didn't respond by criticising his sister like I expected him to so I create a post hopefully leading to a long criticial thread.

You say the "excuse she's trotting out" Why would she have to give an excuse to you? unless you're commenting about it to her, which really isn't your place? Leave the woman alone fgs

I guess this thread hasn't really soothed you, has it? Its a life lesson - some things you just have to let go. If the family including said child aren't suffering, and you & DH aren't being tapped for loans by the family, then its none of your business at all.

Why she can't dress her child in clothes made by other children in appalling conditions and for less than a living wage, I don't know, tut some people.

I dressed DS in designer clothes to compensate for the fact I thought I was doing a rubbish job at being his mum. It's very mean spirited to join in with a 'family joke' at your sil's expense and then to post a slightly mocking thread about her on MN. If they can afford it and that is what she chooses to spend her money on it has nothing to do with you.

I think it is entirely up to your sil what she spends her money on - I mean it isn't as though its heroin is it?

I'd also be very wary of bitching/joking about her to your mil and dh - that is their daughter/sister after all. Easy for them to make jokes and it is a funny family thing but you can end up looking like a very nasty person.

Well, I was all set to say that I'm not crazy about babies in 'designer' clothing (it pains me to even type this), but the dress you posted is beautiful.

I think you're being a bit unreasonable. Come and tell us the backstory, surely there is one?

It's totally up to her but I think it's utterly bonkers. That money could be very useful elsewhere. Like in a child's savings account or paying off a mortgage or eating healthily. Also what happens when this child starts playing in mud or painting? Is she going to be annoyingly precious about the clothes. Will she be buying the baby designer clothes once it's a teen? Along with iPhone 6 and a Rolex?

I think it's bonkers.

However it doesn't affect you. It's cruel to laugh at her behind her back. If this is what she wants to spend her money on then that's up to her.

If your dh says you are being bitchy, then it's obviously coming across that way. It's not coming across as light hearted or you keep going on about it.

Don't get the point about if she has another. She will either stop or do it for both.

If she wants to spend hundreds on a. Dress and can afford it, what's wrong with that?

The difference between this thread and the prom one, was that the OP of that thread mentions it had cost 'in the ridiculous hundreds' so people assumed that was contributing to her annoyance. Also the fact that she kept insisting that she had to spend that amount to keep her dd happy.

This is nothing to do with the op.

I personally think it's silly but I wouldn't talk to her or mum about it.

If you've got the money to spend then why not, SiL and her dh are on a good salary each do money clearly isn't an issue.

That dress is beautiful , it's a shame the baby isn't going to be in it for long but again if they can afford it I don't see an issue.

I'd also not make reference to it again to your dh, he thinks you're being nasty.

I'm going to play devil's advocate.
When I was pregnant we went on holiday. We went past a designer baby stuff shop. Cue me spotting the most beautiful Dior baby dress I'd ever seen. Cute, pretty, understated and beautifully made. I didn't buy it, it was waaaaay out of my price range. I was also sure it was the label I was paying for and there'd be stuff just as nice on the high street.
But I couldn't find anything that was similar on the high street. Everything had pink sparkles or slogans daubed across it. I like 'classic baby'. The fabrics didn't feel anything as nice either.
If she has the budget why not? I would.
My baby was always better dressed than me. I would be in frumpy nursing tops and black with my hair scraped back and dd would be beautifully turned out.

Tbh as I said I think it's ridiculous.

However I did buy dd a pair of fluffy boots from Harvey Nichols when she was 6 months. It was a one off though. Not something I would do a lot.

If someone started laughing at me or talking behind my back I would considered it bitchy.

"The excuse that is constantly trotted out on her behalf "

Why must there be an excuse?

Why can't she just dress herbaby how she wants to?

I didn't buy such clothes as I didn't want to.

I think that really you might have said too much if yourhusband has called you bitchy.

OP yanbu, of course putting babies and toddlers in eye-wateringly expensive, designer clothes is stupid. It's self indulgent, fatuous and a waste of money. However, it's up to your sil and if that's what she wants, then that's her choice. I wouldn't worry about it.

So long as the child doesn't grow up thinking she's a cut above other kids with their sensible parents ordinary clothes, it doesn't matter.

OP, if your mind was on spiritual and ethical matters as it should be, you'd not even notice that there are more expensive designers and what they make, much less recognise them by their logos. I suggest you turn your mind to higher things and the wicked excesses of your extravagant sister in law can be a matter for her to consider.