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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask how you'd respond to this?

150 replies

HappyGirlNow · 13/01/2016 15:19

Ok so if you and youe partner were going away with another couple and the other woman was main organiser. She had been trying to get reasonable flights etc but was proving tricky. She eventually found flights for a good price and checked with the you if ok to book and it was so she did.
She also checked it was ok to get certain tickets to an event that had already been agreed (including price), and booked these also. So the other woman had paid out almost £700 for you and your partner. She then texted you to say 'yay, all done, flights, event booked etc, looking forward to it etc etc'.

How would you respond?

OP posts:
Original poster
HappyGirlNow · 13/01/2016 19:18

Thanks ladybird appreciate that genuine sentiment, am sure it will be wonderful Grin

OP posts:
firesidechat · 13/01/2016 19:28

LittleRed lots of us read the op and knew exactly who was who. I certainly didn't think op was the rude friend. It was posted like a hypothetical question. I get that it didn't need to be written like that, but that's how the op did it. Better than a reverse in my view.

HairySubject · 13/01/2016 19:29

Wow, thought I was in relationships board for a minute there with posters getting shirty that the OP didn't immediately jump to follow their advice.

Correct response would be, great thanks, what are your bank details?

Original poster
HappyGirlNow · 13/01/2016 19:39

peyia start one now because I'm really in the mood for a fight, I'll jump on it Grin Wink

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 13/01/2016 20:00

Sheesh. I'm updating my spreadsheet after this thread.

almondfinger · 13/01/2016 20:01

Hi OP, i got that it was you straight away.

I too would reply to your text with let me know how much and how you would like to be paid.

I hate owing money and I hate either waiting or having to ask. You did the donkey work, I would offer to pay up st away not give a single word text reply and wait to be asked to pay.

Don't know why people are getting their knickers in a twist, you only asked for an opinion.

Original poster
HappyGirlNow · 13/01/2016 20:15

Thanks almond I think you've hit on other factors too.. A lot of work has gone into organising this. Hard to get flights, multiple hotels booked, activities booked (that they do want to do) and now I have to spell out to pay and also if it were me I would have said 'thanks for organising'. Hey ho.

OP posts:
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 14/01/2016 10:12

That's ok Happy Smile

I think you are also BU for not including me in this lovely-sounding trip, but I've forgiven you for that already
Just remember next time, ok?

Grin
Original poster
HappyGirlNow · 14/01/2016 13:22

I will, I will...

As long as you pay in advance Grin Wink

OP posts:
waitingforsomething · 14/01/2016 13:43

I guess because you didn't give her an exact amount she could be waiting for you to let her know. It's possible you are both being super polite; text isn't always the clearest way of communicating.
I would text her again at some point soon, with how much she owes and your bank details, with a friendly 'if I could have the money at your convenience that would be great :-) ' Not sure why the OP is getting such a hard time!

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 14/01/2016 13:44

I think I'll send you a post-dated cheque. Just to keep you on your toes! Grin

Enjoy your holiday, do let us know when she paid you. It's nice to have closure.

Babyorjob · 14/01/2016 13:57

If you'd have just titled this thread: 'AIBU to think she should have offered to pay right away?', you wouldn't have got any stick OP. Because the answer is a resounding YANBU.

CallieTorres · 14/01/2016 15:37

" Why do folk always put their own (often incorrect) interpretation on other folks' threads?"

Its a talk forum, thats what its actually there for - otherwise why would you post? if you have further information - then put that it (thats why people dont like drip-feeders)

But why are you here posting threads if you dont want opinions and other interpretations

Me: i would have texted i have booked XX, your part cost XXX, and i need to get it in the bank before the credit card is due on XXX - would you like my bank details

OurBlanche · 14/01/2016 15:45

I bet you wish you'd added Lightehearted to the title, HappyGirlNow Smile

LagunaBubbles · 14/01/2016 17:03

Communication not the problem 'I've booked these, they cost £X' - fairly easy to understand?

Yes that is but what was the communication regarding how you would be reimbursed for the cost?

AlisonWunderland · 14/01/2016 17:14

My friends and I do a lot of booking stuff for each other, often for an activity that we do together.

convos go like this:
Booker - I've sent off application form for all 4 of us for x. Cost is £50
Others- Send me your details and I'll BACS you

Booker replies with anyone of the following
Thanks. It's 00-00-00 12345678
or
Thanks. They don't cash cheque until all places are sorted. I'll let you know if/when they do in case we don't get in.
or
Thanks. I've stuck it on the credit card and need to settle cc bill end of Feb if you want to pay me in next couple of weeks, that's fine.

But regardless, the others all offer to pay ASAP. It's up to the booker to say if they DON'T want paid, not up to others

Original poster
HappyGirlNow · 14/01/2016 21:02

Great thanks all. I will just ask just thought she'd immediately have offered as I would. No harm done. She texted today about something unrelated and no mention again so see onus is on me to ask which I will shortly...

callie yes folk will interpret but when told they've blatantly got something completely wrong or missed the point entirely why don't they just blinking admit it instead of continuing to argue the toss over complete bollocks?? Waste of everyone's time!

OP posts:
Original poster
HappyGirlNow · 14/01/2016 21:04

I do blanche I do! Feel I've been through the ringer Grin

OP posts:
ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 14/01/2016 21:09

Cool send me your bank details till I transfer you the cash, thanks for doing that really looking forward to it.

Leelu6 · 14/01/2016 21:11

Littleredladybird

Happy I won't take any lectures from you on grammar than you.

Oh dear Grin

I won't out myself but writing for a living in mainstream media is what I do and also teach people how to write.

Stratter5 · 14/01/2016 21:14

Fucking hell Littleredladybird are you always so unnecessarily rude?

Original poster
HappyGirlNow · 14/01/2016 22:03

Only on anonymous Internet forums I'd imagine stratter Grin

OP posts:
CFSsucks · 14/01/2016 22:09

I'd message her now and say "do you need my bank details to transfer the money or would you prefer to pay another way?"

It's rude and ridiculous that she hasn't immediately responded how every other person would have. And given a recent thread about a very similar thing, I'd be wanting my money ASAP.

theycallmemellojello · 14/01/2016 22:22

God I hate threads like this. You haven't discussed payment terms, you haven't given her any reason to think you want the money now, she hasn't given you any reason to think she won't pay on demand... yet you're pissed off. Do you have enough time on your hands that you want to randomly pick fights with friends? Just ask her for the money already like a normal person. Or else tell her she's failed a test she didn't know she was sitting. Whatever. Some people don't help themselves.

Original poster
HappyGirlNow · 14/01/2016 22:24

Try reading the thread jello before you comment. Thanks.

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