AIBU to ask how you'd respond to this?

[HappyGirlNow]

Ok so if you and youe partner were going away with another couple and the other woman was main organiser. She had been trying to get reasonable flights etc but was proving tricky. She eventually found flights for a good price and checked with the you if ok to book and it was so she did.
She also checked it was ok to get certain tickets to an event that had already been agreed (including price), and booked these also. So the other woman had paid out almost £700 for you and your partner. She then texted you to say 'yay, all done, flights, event booked etc, looking forward to it etc etc'.

How would you respond?

Id just send an update text.
"So Ive divided the costs of the holiday and it's £X pp, here's my bank details. Is there anything else we you think would be good to do and I can price them up".

fucky

Why didn't you or your husband mention it at the weekend when you saw them? Text her now and remind her. Whether you need the money or not isn't the point.

Yup that's what I'm intending youarentkiddingme

I'm no wet blanket btw! I'm not asking for advice on how to get the money, I'm more than capable of that! I asked how others would respond? Why do folk always put their own (often incorrect) interpretation on other folks' threads?

Yes I agree op. The polite thing fir them to do would be to pay straight away

I'll give her a week or so to mention it first and if not send my bill

I with the others who say send her the bill now, but I can see you don't want to do that.

Why leave it a week? Get on the phone. I would want to be reimbursed or at least know I'm going to be reimbursed soon.

No I just don't want to embarrass her, make it seem like I'm having to 'chase' her would rather allow her time to mention it (and would hope she would). Maybe daft but it's my preferred approach.

Obviously that has limits.. As I said, about a week and I'll raise it but hopefully she'll have raised it first.

You might not like this BUT could the way you posted - in a rather obtuse way so you didn't actually say you were 'the woman' who spent all the money - be indicative of how you behave generally ( ie not clear communication?)

Because if I were you, I'd have wanted some reassurances from this other woman about how she'd pay you promptly etc, long before I finalised the plans.

If you were in constant contact with her about the flights and the events then surely she would have said 'Let me know the minute you have paid and I'll pay you back'. Or she could have asked if it was a problem having £700 on your cards or out of your bank.

I think you are partly to blame for not asking 'How would you like to pay' as soon as you had booked the flights.

I think she is in the wrong but equally I think you gave off messages that said you would shoulder all the expense and accept payment from her whenever. Maybe if you'd been more direct: 'Can you pay it by BACs by Tuesday please and I'll check my account that it's come through', kind of thing.

I'm really bad at paying stuff because I have the attention span of a gnat. So I sometimes need reminders.

But it's the 'good girl' that would pisse off with no mention of payment. You will have to bring it up.

X posts!

You need to stop being uncommunicative! Be open with people and maybe learn to be assertive ( and that's not aggressive!)

blimey - I thought you were going to say that she refuse to pay.
I think her response was reasonable- I can imagine responding "excellent! "when someone said they had confirmed everything- confirming doesn't necessarily mean money has moved and so I wouldn't assume it. I'd probably have texted a bit later to ask when/where/how much I owed etc- but with good friends I'd just as much get a text telling me same - all of this pussyfooting around is ridiculous!

She may just be waiting for you to prompt her when you want payment - I usually book flights on my credit card which doesn't need repaying immediately. If it was someone I knew well enough to holiday with then I would be fine with her response and just let her know when I needed payment.

You are bordering on passive aggressive OP_ all this posting on forums instead of being able to ask for money owed.
Do you have a problem generally with stating your needs?

I don't get the angst about asking for money.
Why should anyone (lender or borrower) be embarrassed. I happily ask for my money back if I have lent someone money - I inky lend to nice friends though so I wouldn't expect them to be rude.

It's weird how people are so awkward about money.

I'm very assertive thanks, sometimes too much! I'm assertively saying I am giving her a week or so before I ask.

Communication not the problem 'I've booked these, they cost £X' - fairly easy to understand?

And once again(!) I am merely asking what your response would be to the original communication, not to comment on some made up lack of assertiveness.. I will have no problem asking when I choose to do so!

This happens to me every year. A work colleague books a ski holiday for about ten of us and we all race to pay him back asap.

Hope this helps.

There's no fucking ANGST! Jeez.

If I was in the middle of doing something else when you sent the text then I might not offer to pay. I might just say 'yay!' back.

It would also depend on whether I was paying or my DP was, or we were paying half iyswim. Plus, if there had been a lot of toing and froing over the arrangements, I'd probably expect you to send me a breakdown or at least a total cost. Flight costs especially can change by the hour so I wouldn't assume that I knew the final amount.

I would just respond to her text saying, the total price for you and whoever will be blah blah blah, just let me know when you are ready to pay xxx

Thanks travelling you do don't you?

What was the point of the thread?

Posted too soon

Was it just to confirm what you know?

I feel I'm missing something!

Oh FFS ladybird are you for real? Passive aggressive? Was merely curious how others would normally respond for goodness sake. Are you a massive over thinker normally?

I can get money whenever just thought response seemed odd and wondered it it was or just me thinking that.