Why do some women have more children

[DizzyDancer]

Than others

Why in some families do women feel the need to have 4plus kids whereas others are happy with 1 or 2 or sometimes none at all?

I know everyone is different but I know there's a biological response to proceeate.

I had three children because my husband wouldn't let me have anymore cats

Also fwiw 3 of penelopes comments could apply to me and DH seen as though dc4 is 20 years younger than his dsis, he is like an only in many ways.

I only wanted 2 children. I grew up as one of 2 children and it was lovely. Got pregnant with 2nd, which turned out to be 2nd and 3rd. So sometimes people don't have a choice how many they get.

However since having my twins I do think, if I could afford it, I'd have about 6.

There is an addictive quality to the rush you get when you look at your children. Better than any drug you could find. I wondered how I could possibly love another child as much as my first but you do, and every day you love them more. When I watch them growing, developing and learning I feel euphoric.

Being a parent really is amazing.

Op you may as well be asking " why are people different?"

For some people it's not a question of need or want but they find themselves with an unexpected pregnancy and would rather not terminate...

But in answer to your Q which I doubt was my original answer, heck I dunno, some people prefer one child (then can't conceive or don't wish to conceive again) still others are happy with the 13 and counting tag.

Why should I care?! Or you for that matter.

I have a theory that large family = sleepers.

Would have lo-ho-ho-ved a couple more than the two we have, but it beats me how we would have afforded it, despite being naturally frugal and taking home two professional salaries. It used to really upset me, especially as I see many huge families in my line of work, who manage on much smaller incomes than me, or who don't work at all. But I've got over it, I too could have made different choices if I had been desperate enough. And for us, maintaining careers (-ish ) and paying a mortgage trumped expanding our family. The right decision? I think I am doing right by our DDs now, but still feel a bit maudlin at times. Big families seem like so much fun.

I always wanted 4, DH wanted 2. We compromised on 3. Number 3 ended up being 3 & 4, so I got my way, mwahaha! However, when they were born I knew straight away that my family wasn't finished (maybe my body felt cheated out of a 4th pregnancy!) So we had no. 5 and that was it - when he was born I knew my family was complete.

I did worry that he'd get to age 3 and I'd become broody again as I'd always had a baby by then, but nothing. Definitely done. I coo over cute babies then remember the sleepless nights, nappies, toilet training, etc and I wouldn't want to go through that again.

I have 2 and don't feel "done". Part of that might be because they are twins and I'd love the experience of having a single baby too. Partly it's because I think I've just always seen myself as having 3-4.

I've had 3 but my eldest died so only ever had 2 at home.

We do want another but it will be hard as I'm back into work, loving it, and out of the tiny baby stage. But I think the idea of having another child will outweigh all that. It's such a short term interruption into a hopefully long career and life.

If we had unlimited money and space, enough for each child to have their own room and so we could afford someone else to do boring jobs, and so neither of us had to work full time? I think we would have another 2-3.

I love being a parent, my children are a joy, and dd2 was the perfect birth which healed me a lot after the first 2 and make me want to repeat that experience. I'm lucky.

And yes, my two are pretty good sleepers!

Oh I wish that was true, Binky!

I would have loooooved 2 but my selfish surrogate wanted her body back

None of mine have slept through before 2yrs. Ds1 was 3! It's hideous at 3am But it all looks better in the morning. The killer is when you have 2 alternating waking every 3hours!

I have one. I always dreamed of 4. I don't know why. All I can ever remember is wanting to be a mother. I literally dreamed of it throughout my life.

Then reality hit: terrible sickness and antenatal depression, postnatal depression, and really, not being that good of a mum hurt too much. I'm still kind of sad about it, DD is almost 4.

People have started commenting on our lack of 2nd child now and it breaks my heart.

So I'm super sarcastic about it. I say I don't want a favourite, or that I have a closet drinking problem, or that I'm not a farmer.

Plus, I've got lots of cats...

Ha binky not true here, ds1 didn't sleep properly til over three years, when he was born the midwives commented on how awake and alert he was, he never napped in the day either. Our youngest age five has had me upstairs a few times already this eve and will no doubt end up in our bed at some point. None of mine have slept through well until at least age two.

You do get used to the broken sleep. Good job as Dc6 is due at easter.

Oh lentil apart from the first 3-4 weeks all my four slept very well we had one night I think where we were up all night.

Cos we shag more often?

Also, that finding out you've given your children an incurable, life limiting and painful genetic condition puts you off having more children. (I have 2 children with Recessive Dystrophic Epidermolysis Bullosa) we had no idea we were both carriers until they were born with no skin on their feet and blisters all over their body.

Well I have no children, because I've never felt the urge. I've even challenged myself to feel the urge, considered the later life impacts and still can't bring myself to make a positive step to procreate. I am perhaps a bit unusual in that regard. DP is not bothered, definitely doesn't want them now and understand that my age will become a factor shortly should he suddenly get an attack of broodiness.

I'm an only because it just didn't happen and back then, I think most people just accepted that as options were limited.

I do boggle about having a squad of kids (more than 5 say) in terms of attention etc. but some people seem to adapt very naturally. A good friend is one of five & all went to uni, very close family, sisters all socialise together etc. I do realise that's not always the case.

My parents some from large(ish) families. Can't recall the last time I saw an aunt or uncle and only interaction with my cousins is through FB.

Hormones. Or something technical like that.

This woman could only have one.

Everyone has their own ' reason'

Mine are definitely not sleepers! Eldest is nearly 8 and doesn't always sleep through as SEN. Then the little ones are obviously up a lot. Baby was up about 10 times last night as she is teething and not settling. Middle one is ok but does still get up here and there. It is hard sometimes as I work full time and we have no formal childcare or support. We just do it all between us. I still want more though!

We have one, trying for number 2. We can comfortably afford two giving them all the opportunities we want to be able to offer. If we were rich, I would like a huge family. Realistically our house and bank balance and resource pool just isn't big enough