To not move on the train?

[TheCatsMeow]

I was on a very busy packed train with my friend and DS. DS was in a sling, we had the buggy and I was feeding him. We were standing by the doors (no one offered us seats!) trying to feed a screaming baby, penned in by others standing. There was no where we could go.

People tried to push past us to get out the doors and nearly sent DS flying. I firmly asked if they could use one of the other doors and I literally couldn't go anywhere. Cue mutterings and dirty looks!

We couldn't collapse the pram there wasn't room to do and as no one had offered a seat we couldn't move anywhere! WIBU to ask them to use another door?

I am a mother. But I commute.
Sodding twat that I am.

I love children, and I think most people are pretty tolerant of fellow travellers who have a lot on their plate whether that's kids or bags or both. It's different obviously had to shift two ENORMOUS cases on a load of public transport just before Christmas, and no-one tutted or eye-rolled etc even though I was obviously taking up a lot of space. A man even moved up (when I asked politely if he wouldn't mind) so I could sit next to the luggage space. There was a woman with a newborn on one of the trains I got and another lady sorted out all her luggage for her and moved seats so she could be comfortable.

The difference is, though, that most people with kids/bags/whatever try to make things easier for others where they can. When I have huge bags and I have to move them on and off the train so other passengers can leave it's a big pain. But that's my problem, not theirs! When people see that you're doing your best to minimise the problems you're causing, they are generally sympathetic and try to help. When you're just standing there going USE THE OTHER DOOR they, not unreasonably, get a little irked. Can only imagine what you'd say if you were trying to get off the train with your child a toddler, and another pair and their buggy and bags were there and refused to budge an inch.

I don't think I deserve special treatment. I always try to help anyone on transport, I help the elderly a lot and anyone I can see struggling because I'm not a twat. The time I was struggling no one could offer me any empathy and I'm annoyed about it.

Btw I see loads of prams on trains and I've never seen one folded

Op, you're being rather obtuse here.

If the train was SO PACKED that you were PENNED IN by other people, there is absolutely no way they there were empty seats or space in the aisles for people to walk to the other door.

Either the train was empty enough for people to walk easily to another door, or it was packed and people had to wiggle out the nearest door around you, your multiple bags, your Pram bag, your baby, your buggy, and your friend.

Also- if your baby needed to breastfeed, how about stop at the station, feed baby on a bench somewhere, put baby back in along, fold Pram, and get on next train? Seriously I am a commuter and would have been bloody annoyed to see a breastfeeding mum who wouldn't ask for a seat and who was talking up half the exit way during rush hour.

People have kids all the time. You make them fit into the world, rather than the world fitting around them.

Because no one allows any dispensation for mothers

You and your friend were having zero consideration for others.

You weren't on your own. You had another adult with you!

Ah, that's great news that my DP isn't a twat! When you said there were reasons that commuters were twats, I thought you meant all commuters. Now I see you meant some commuters, the ones who are rude and thoughtless. That's because commuters are just people and some people are rude and thoughtless.

Re bags on seats. I've never had anyone say no when I've told them asked them to move their bags. It's a minor irritation they don't voluntarily move them, but it's not a problem.

Also, I can tell you don't use London bound trains as what you're describing isn't a packed train! There was still room in the aisles, it was a busy train but not packed.

Finally, do you accept that you could have asked for a seat? And that you could have waited for the next train so you could fold your buggy?

Dispensation for mothers?!

Oh get over yourself OP for crying out loud!

Why on earth do mothers need special treatment?! What about all the mothers and fathers on your train wanting to get off but couldn't?! Don't they deserve dispensation too by your theory?!

This thread has to be a wind up, surely no one is really this bloody entitled in real life?!

But you did expect special treatment. You expected everyone to walk to a different exit because you are a mother.

Jeezo. This thread is wacko.

Well, to empathise means to put yourself in that other person's shoes. Everyone else would have probably folded the buggy and not behaved like a twat

They weren't huffing at the baby, they were huffing at you.

Actually, I think the train companies should be putting more trains on if they are that busy. It isn't practical for someone to hold a baby and toddler with a folded up buggy on a busy train like that as they will get squashed.

London

There were people all around but no one moved into the corridor they just hung around the door.

I was bottle feeding him (don't know if that matters), if I could have easily moved I would, I don't enjoy standing in doors

Can you draw us a diagram to make the situation clearer?

Might make everyone's afternoon more fun make it a bit clearer for all us ridiculous people on a parenting forum, who don't understand the trials and tribulations of parenting.

Oh wait...

Been reading this thread with interest/horror/disgust and still have not seen the answer to the question;

WHY did you cart a buggy around all day that you clearly did not need as you stated previously that you carried an 18lb baby around in a sling all day therefore relegating the buggy tp being unused? So why so high and mighty about needing room on a train for a buggy that you didnt even require??

Paul Absolutely wacko, I'm stunned!

It isn't practical for someone to hold a baby and toddler

Where did the toddler come from? The OP had the DS in a sling.

culture I could have asked yeah, I don't like doing it though. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I think re commuters it's just a cross section of people, and you remember the rude ones.

I don't see why I should have had to wait for the next train though.

Do you accept that you should have/could have asked for a seat? Your friend could have stayed with the buggy.

PrivatePike probably because they don't understand the hardships of motherhood...

Shoe as a precaution because I haven't been using a sling that long and he's heavy, I didn't want to get stuck being unable to carry him and unable to get back

It makes you feel uncomfortable to ask for a seat, but you were perfectly ok telling people to use another exit?

WUT

If you don't ask you don't get. I don't like interacting with people but sometimes needs must, particularly if you're looking after a baby. No one is a mind reader, if you don't ask, most people will assume you don't want a seat!

Do the trains you travel on have priority seats? It's even easier to ask for them, because it says you can on the seats.