SAHM: What "me time" do you give yourself? What do you do during that time?

[SKLily]

I know some mothers that have full time live in help and they seemingly have all the "me time" in the world! I know I have more than the average SAHM but I was wondering about other people?
My "me time" is 2 hours at the gym daily (sometimes that includes Pilates or Yoga, or I spend time in the lounge/steam room. While son is at nursery or with dad on weekends).
Then 2-4 hours alone with my husband in the evenings and my morning lay-ins on weekends.
Once a week we get a sitter and have date night. About once a week I go to Urban Retreat just down the road to get waxed/manicured/massaged.

Luckily my husband works from home so as long as he doesn't have conference calls he can watch the kids for a few hours while I gym.

I can be a bit judgemental of the SAHMs that don't work and have full time help, but then again I know I get more than the average mum as well. It seems like they never see their children though! AIBU about this? I know it doesn't affect me but when they complain over the littlest things or say they're exhausted from shopping it gets on my nerves.

What do you guys do during your me time?

At 23 you seem to have a privileged lifestyle but somehow completely lack class. Why would a sahm need full time help? Why do you feel the need to boast about your own free time to prove how lazy they are? Why do you care and what exactly do you expect people to say? The kind of mums you're talking about are a very small exclusive group. Not many people see what you see, not many can relate! Also how do you have so much free time with a 4 month old? It doesn't make sense, even with your oh who works a long shift from home surely it's still bloody hard work? I don't get you and I think you need to grow up a lot!

I have a 2.5 year old and a four month old. My 2.5 year old goes to pre-school three mornings and day nursery two mornings a week. My mornings are my me time! My four Month old is a breeze really, four bottles a day, three naps and sleeps from 7-7/8. I'm older so I'm happy to spend my time going for walks, pottering around the house etc. I think you're settled into a life most your age wouldn't be and that must be very isolating. I understand that you are independent financially so a career isn't necessary for money but it can give you a great sense of purpose and worth. Perhaps completing a degree in a subject that interests you would help give you a diversion?

Bloody phone.. It was a typo..

Anyway I had 'me' time this evening. Scheduled back in for two weeks time for approx 15 mins...

Ps by the sounds of it you have a lot more help than most other people I know do so its pretty insane you 'judge' stay at home mothers that have help. I'm 24 and have a 6 month old. I sacrificed a lot of 'me' time for my son and wouldn't change it. Not sure you realise that after a child/children your priority usually changes. From your posts it's clear you are still pretty selfish and still are pretty immature.

You sound completely and utterly bored.

I get no me time if you see me on mumsnet thats in between doing something in kitchen or waiting around for kids to play in the bath or evening like now.

I used to read a lot maybe i should take that up again.

Dont go out to gym no time in day or evening until 10pm. Only gym is my house 5am begore kids are up otherwise i have no time.

i am a full time sahm dont work outside. I do sit andcry sometimes wish i had just 1-2 hrs quality undisturbed time wont happen if its not the kids its my dad or mil everyone needs me but i need no one it seems. Im very positive to the point of delusional maybe, thats how i cope

Well I'm from wigan and I can only dream of a peaceful poo.

You're judging SAHMs with full-time help, yet have an awful lot of help yourself? Um yeah....

I get free time to myself and I work. Usually, it's in the evenings but I love these times. I mostly relax at home in front of the TV and on MN.

Hehe he wine wolf, peaceful poo is the dream here!
Yabu OP

I do LOADS of stuff as a sahm aside from cooking, washing etc.

I've had two books self published, a couple more by mills and boon. I also have an etsy shop.
I work some evenings too at a bar.

It's not necessarily how much time you have but how you use it.
I would love the occasional eastenders fest and/or a pampering session but I'm fairly happy being busy doing stuff.

I am a SAHM - we have a 4.2 yo, a nearly 2 yo and I'm 36 ish weeks pregnant. I am bloody lucky to be a SAHM as it is what I've wanted to do forever, and we are fortunate to have enough money to be able to do it. I value what I do as does DH and both feel it's incredibly important that I have nights out, the odd spa day, and a lie in each weekend. I prioritise "me time" far higher than a lot of people but I tend to miss the children so fit it in when they're asleep or, occasionally, having fun with daddy. Eldest is in nursery 2 days per week but I always have youngest so have a nap sometimes during her nap on nursery days.

While I think OP is slightly deluded I also think some women are martyrs and could have more me time, and certainly deserve it. However, posting on here I would consider me time, so maybe I have low standards - for me I very rarely have a spa day, afternoon tea or hair appointment and am more likely to be perving over Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice (again)

Whatever for me time takes, it should be prioritised by every mum, heck, every parent, be they WOH, WAH or SAH. Housework can wait or, if finances allow, someone can be paid to do it. Read a book or have a nap instead!

This is a fake. So obvious.

wine

Me too, but I can sit and lay shits all day if I like.

OP

I wrote this post before but it doesn't seem to have posted.

You're having trouble finding other people like yourself to talk to because they hardly exist! You're living in a very small socio economic bubble.

The majority of people in the UK for example cannot afford to buy the food they WANT to buy each week, they have to buy the food they can afford. I am very middle class (two generations ago my family had more servants than family members), husband has a job in the City (though not on a banking type salary), I do a fairly low paid job part time. We are richer than the large majority of people in the UK, yet we cannot afford to shop in Waitrose every week, we have not been able to go abroad for 3 years (and that was a budget place), we carefully consider if having a second car is really necessary, I have never had my nails done because it costs more than doing it myself and I cut and dye my own hair because I can't justify £80 for a cut and dye every month..... Yet we are still very rich compared to most people and I consider us lucky. What does that make you OP? Probably the top 0.01% at least. See: www.ifs.org.uk/wheredoyoufitin/

I think you should:
Go to bed earlier and spend time with DH in the morning after you have dropped of your son at nursery
Go to the doctor about your sleep
Get some cookery books and have fun learning to bake cakes etc.
Go to some local mothers meet ups where there will be some like minded people

I hear they're popular in the States.

Yes I think so too. When I travel to the US I, inexplicably, decide to live in GMT zone. It's a 'ground breaking idea'. Kids seem to start school much later than here in the UK

If you go to the US but live in the UKs time zone. Schools start far later. Problem solved!

If you are for real then I think you must be a bit bored and lonely. Also I don't want to sound mean but you sound a bit boring. Apart from being a young, rich mother with plenty of lie-ins, purée food and gym time what else is there to your life?

You could do anything you want with your life, which others could only dream of. What's holding you back?

How do you get so much time with your dh in the evenings if he works till 10pm? If you stay up late then that is your problem with getting up in the mornings. At some point you have to put your dc first in the mornings, even if it means less time with dh. That's what you do when you're a parent.

Hi OP. For my me-time I am currently staying in a duplex suite at the Shangri-La, Paris. Try that?

Seriously though, the reason you are getting mocking responses is because you're posting about utter non-problems and stealth boasting about your fabulous life in an age where many of us have nothing or really struggle financially etc, or have much bigger problems and still manage to cope. Whereas you are moaning about not being able to get out of bed in the morning. Which most of us have no choice about.

Seriously, try for some tact?

You posts remind me of chandler in friends taking the piss out of Ross and saying 'oh no, two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet is too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!'

assuming this is real anyway

I get up when I want, except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen
I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about leaving the house
I feed the pigeons; I sometimes feed the sparrows too. It gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing
And then I'm happy for the rest of the day, safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to it

You sound bored OP. Time to go back to work ?

I think all SAHMs should have to do National Service.

And clean the houses of all working mums.

And have sex with the husbands of all working mums.

And spend at least an hour a day learning to be better internet trolls. (3/10 OP though you have lasted 9 pages I guess...)

Love this thread. WEEPING at 'I worked night shifts for three years but still lived in Bolton'

Fair- brilliant just brilliant!

You live in a dream world if you think that your "me" time is average or just above average.

fair park life?

None whatsoever. Except sometimes I shower in peace but not always. HTH.

Quiet: PARKLIFE!!