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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SAHM: What "me time" do you give yourself? What do you do during that time?

228 replies

SKLily · 09/01/2016 12:07

I know some mothers that have full time live in help and they seemingly have all the "me time" in the world! I know I have more than the average SAHM but I was wondering about other people?
My "me time" is 2 hours at the gym daily (sometimes that includes Pilates or Yoga, or I spend time in the lounge/steam room. While son is at nursery or with dad on weekends).
Then 2-4 hours alone with my husband in the evenings and my morning lay-ins on weekends.
Once a week we get a sitter and have date night. About once a week I go to Urban Retreat just down the road to get waxed/manicured/massaged.

Luckily my husband works from home so as long as he doesn't have conference calls he can watch the kids for a few hours while I gym.

I can be a bit judgemental of the SAHMs that don't work and have full time help, but then again I know I get more than the average mum as well. It seems like they never see their children though! AIBU about this? I know it doesn't affect me but when they complain over the littlest things or say they're exhausted from shopping it gets on my nerves.

What do you guys do during your me time?

OP posts:
Original poster
SKLily · 09/01/2016 17:56

good totally right possibly which is a shame, I thought it wouldn't differentiate that much but it's proven problematic unfortunately. Just trying to relate to mums like myself but there aren't many on here? Maybe I should get back in touch with my birthing class friends, but everyone moves country a lot so it's almost impossible

OP posts:
PseudoBadger · 09/01/2016 17:58
Is this you and Hubby OP?
Goodbetterbest · 09/01/2016 18:00

Or, don't be quite so specific when you post.

We all have some of the same issues as mothers, we don't all have the same circumstances. Tone it down and you will get a different response. I expect.

MN is a fabulous place, and MNers are wonderful in times of need and support. They have got me through tough times and I have genuine RL friends from here. But they do love a good old piss-take.

ManneryTowers · 09/01/2016 18:02

Are any them in America now? Are you sure your DH is actually working when he's insisting on keeping 'American hours'? Do have one of your staff check his Skype history. It would be mortifico for you if he were actually embroiled in a steamy international EA with that lovely Cressida from birthing class.

Asskicker · 09/01/2016 18:16

Apparently being ignorant is a total trend among mothers on mumsnet?

GrinGrinGrinGrin

Asskicker · 09/01/2016 18:18

Actually have you thought to find a school that runs on American time?

It would suit you not being able to get up and your dh working late shifts

Original poster
SKLily · 09/01/2016 18:22

mannery haven't thought to check since some of us aren't insecure enough to project issues. But thanks for the tip!

OP posts:
ManneryTowers · 09/01/2016 18:27

You're SO welcome sweetie. I had a chum to whom the exact same thing did actually happen! It was th scandal of the club. Fortunately she managed to get the larger yacht and two of the European houses out of him. Always a silver lining.

MusicalFanjo · 09/01/2016 18:27

a 4 month old daughter and 2.5 year old son. She had the son at 17 and is 22 now (or 23 yesterday) but the years pass differently in American time zones GrinGrin

I love this thread.

sugar21 · 09/01/2016 18:30

mannery Grin Grin

Shutthatdoor · 09/01/2016 18:31

I think it's just that you may move in different circles to the majority of us. I don't know any SAHMs who have full time help, so you complaining about them comes across as a little privileged and unnecessary.

Plus all before the age of 23 Wink

FairNotFair · 09/01/2016 18:32

*Just trying to relate to mums like myself
*
Good luck with that.

wiccamum · 09/01/2016 19:03

Sorry we are a bit of a let down SKlily, you might find some like minded individuals down at the urban Retreat. Wish you all the best x

Badders123 · 09/01/2016 19:06

Well...this has been entertaining Grin

YouBastardSockBalls · 09/01/2016 19:10

Actually have you thought to find a school that runs on American time?

I hear they're popular in the States.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 09/01/2016 19:13

Op, this threads dying down a bit and so are your others. Can we have a new one now please? You do fascinate me.

NewLife4Me · 09/01/2016 19:13

Right OK OP

I can understand the time thing as my dh used to do lots of night feeds as he would either be working (all types of time zones) from home or just coming in from work.
When I spoke to friends about this though they made me realise how lucky I was for this time, because some of them were night feeding and having to work the next day.

It's also great to be able to share the domestic chores and responsibilities with dh, as once again many friends didn't seem to get this help.

A good relationship is helped by being able to spend time with your partner, having fun and nurturing your relationship, separate from your main responsibilities.
Once again, having this also found that many/most of the women I know don't/ didn't have this.

There are several of your comments that have made me see that there are other women like me, however, you have to see how lucky you are and that there are some people who would give anything to be in your position.

So apart from geography and perhaps a few thousand k of money we are in a similar position. I don't do gym though as it would bore me rigid.

We would probably never meet though as both would more than likely move in different circles, so meeting women/mothers in the same or similar position to you wouldn't necessarily help you much.

Just be yourself and don't worry what others do, there lies the true way to happiness.

saltedcaramel86 · 09/01/2016 19:29

No children yet here for the entertainment but working two part time jobs (equates to full time) plus studying for Diploma to qualify in one of those said part time jobs which will be proper career eventually. Im up at 5.30-6am everyday except for a Sunday. The only time I get is Tues evening when I go to a belly dancing class, lunch hour on Monday and Fridays, and whenever I get to walk my dog. Saturday evenings are carved out for me and DP to either go out or cook a lovely meal at home and share a gorgeous bottle of wine and have sex. Rest of time is coursework,work, family, food shopping etc.

That's without children, count yourself lucky.

KoalaDownUnder · 09/01/2016 19:32

ohsugar that made my week GrinGrinGrin

3sugarsplease · 09/01/2016 19:36

Oh the barbarian princess is back...

But since your so curious and a little judgy of us SAHMS my 'me' time is once a day having the luxury of peeing without having a baby on my lap at the same time or perhaps shaving my legs fortnightly...

Original poster
SKLily · 09/01/2016 20:26

sugar it's actually Bajan or Barbadian... Because barbarian princess is an oxymoron

OP posts:
Original poster
SKLily · 09/01/2016 20:27

new thanks for a genuine and real response. I love the honesty and I appreciate it, thanks!

OP posts:
MaudGonneMad · 09/01/2016 20:29

Barbarian princess isn't an oxymoron!

Christinayangstwistedsista · 09/01/2016 20:32

What about trying some volunteering or study for something you are interested in?

MaudGonneMad · 09/01/2016 20:33

You could study Visigoth royalty. Learn about barbarian princesses.