to think this is an extremely angry reaction?

[mikado1]

I will first of all admit to having a very annoying habit of having a glass of water almost constantly at the side of the couch so I can drink whole feeding ds2. Anyway I am upstairs with DCS, OH downstairs and I hear him shouting 'fucking cunt, what a fucking place to leave a glass of water'..having obviously knocked it. I hate cursing but especially that word. Aibu to be quite disgusted? Little things like this really annoy him.

op if you feel his verbal outbursts are aggressive and unnerve you then YADNBU.

Tbh, whether he tries to excuse it or not, I wouldn't live with someone that made me, and probably my dcs feel that way because he couldn't control his anger.

Some straight talking required, he's a father now and he needs to understand extreme reactions that unnerve his dp and dc are unacceptable.

No bakeoff, 2 out of 5 bars

To go back to earlier point that he would never usually say 'cunt', people seem to think as a one off it was ok but my point actually was that I felt it showed how angry he was. There's a big thing coming up for him in work soon and I know that's on his mind and I am dreading it and the mood that will come with it.

Ironically weallhavewings, before he became a father he rarely swore at all though I was concerned about his moods/stress levels and thought he could have some MH problems. The armchair psychologist in me says a lot is to do with his own dad. thenlater I am going to read that profile now.

He didn't swear at me 're the choc..again, I was in the other room and he didn't say a word afterwards. He has a big problem with actually confronting something I think so it builds up as real rage instead.

It doesn't really matter how much choc you ate, he still had a dreadful reaction to you eating food, in your home and leaving plenty of it for other people.

And although he isn't "shouting at you", he's still shouting knowing you will hear him.

A chat is a good idea, the fact you think he may have MH issues means a trip to the GP may be a good idea.

This whole relationship sounds "joyless"

That is because he is sucking the joy out of it

You don't sound like you feel comfortable in your own home and in your own skin.

I don't really care where the "source" for his horrible attitude comes from, the fact is that it is spoiling family life.

In your situation, I would be insisting he sees the GP to get help with his stress levels. If he refuses I would be reconsidering whether he was someone I wanted to be a constant 24/7 role model for my children.

it's bad.

Massive massive difference between saying 'for fucks sake who left that cunting thing there' for example, and 'for fucks sake what cunt left that there'

The OP's example was closer to the latter, and therefore absolutely aggressive and offensive

I know that's on his mind and I am dreading the mood that will come with it.

You know, most people who are stressed & anxious don't handle it by abusing their family at home.

At my father's funeral, my siblings and I discussed how we used to fear his moods. When we heard him coming back towards the house, we all went on high alert. In summary, we did not feel safe in our own home. You've just described the exact same feeling.

When your life is measured out in fearful anticipation, trigger avoidance and gratitude if there's no explosion - you're living like someone in a war zone. You are living with trauma.

I just think it's a big stretch to even begin to presume a man, having knocked over a glass of water left there by a woman, and then saying "stupid cunt" is referring to the glass of water.

Only if you have zero imagination. I've said similar in the past, and would absolutely be referring to the glass of water. I frequently have arguments with inanimate objects, the bastards.
And what difference does it make if its a man saying it, and a woman left it there?

Bloody hell, I do this sort of thing on practically a daily basis. I don't have anger issues, I'm simply surrounded by a houseful of highly cuntish and annoying inanimate objects.

I thought I was quite normal tbh.

You have to ask whether you should be angry?
Where is your self-respect?

What goblinlittleowl?? Don't understand!