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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is an extremely angry reaction?

137 replies

mikado1 · 08/01/2016 17:16

I will first of all admit to having a very annoying habit of having a glass of water almost constantly at the side of the couch so I can drink whole feeding ds2. Anyway I am upstairs with DCS, OH downstairs and I hear him shouting 'fucking cunt, what a fucking place to leave a glass of water'..having obviously knocked it. I hate cursing but especially that word. Aibu to be quite disgusted? Little things like this really annoy him.

OP posts:
ouryve · 08/01/2016 18:44

I get my best and angriest swears out when something annoing happens and I'm by myself. Relieves a lot of stress, it does.

Hopefully, he wasn't actually calling the OP a cunt #cuntglass

LuluJakey1 · 08/01/2016 18:46

Actually, if I heard DH referring to me as a 'Fucking Cunt' I would be upset enough to tell him to leave.

Figwin · 08/01/2016 18:49

Asskicker sweaty lmao

AliceInUnderpants · 08/01/2016 18:50

OP was he calling you a cunt?

Sallystyle · 08/01/2016 18:54

First time? Then I would think no more of it.

If my husband had left a glass of water on the floor knowing how annoying I found it and I knocked it over I would swear too.

Unless he has form for name calling I would take him at his word that he was calling the glass a cunt.

I called some bread dough a cunt today. I am not quick to anger usually but I have the odd periods where I'm stressed and more likely to swear like that over stupid things.

Asskicker · 08/01/2016 18:57

Asskicker sweaty lmao

GrinGrin

Yep I am sweaty and sweary Wink

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 08/01/2016 19:06

Does he usually refer to everyday objects that way, he might want to tone it down a bit in future - older children do store "colourful" vocabulary for later embarrassment. What would he have said if the glass had actually smashed.

Walkingintheraindrops · 08/01/2016 19:07

Blimey lulujakey1, don't you ever have a bad day?

silvermantela · 08/01/2016 19:08

a) having a glass of water close by isn't an annoying habit at all
b) however leaving one where it could be easily spilled is a silly thing to do
c) the swearing thing: imo swearing directly at someone is unreasonable, nasty and aggressive, however general 'descriptive' swearing at a situation or object is fine, and as others have said, quite standard for a lot of Brits.

If you are normally a sweary household then I don't consider one swearword to be worse than any other really - but if you dislike any 'cursing' then that's a bigger conversation you need to have. DH is a grown man so you have no right to say how he chooses to express himself when alone/with friends, but it is perfectly reasonable for you to ask him to try not to swear in front of you or the children.

Can understand his frustration, presumably if dc2 is a baby you have an older dc, in which case broken glass on the floor could be v.dangerous, as well as annoying to clean up. Why don't you just have your water out of a plastic bottle/cup with a mouthpiece instead? Not going to smash and will leak less if someone accidentally knocks it over.

Figwin · 08/01/2016 19:15

Just asking again, has he asked you not to leave it there before?

Farahilda · 08/01/2016 19:19

Swearing at inanimate objects is fine.

He may not have realised the volume with which he did it carried upstairs, as he does need to cut it when the DC can hear it.

If this is the worst example, then I really don't think you have anything to worry about.

And leaving full glasses on the floor is just a soil, waiting to happen. Could you drink from a bottle with a sports cap instead? Or even get a little table (especially if there are other things you want within grab whilst feeding)

Duckdeamon · 08/01/2016 19:24

A lot depends on whether or not he knew you were likely to hear him swearing (or was even speaking loudly deliberately for you to hear) and whether he was referring to the glass or you with his language.

So he is often angry - towards you?

rageagainsttheBIL · 08/01/2016 19:26

It's not the choice of words per se that bother me, or the swearing (I swear and say fuck quite a bit and cunt a little bit), it's that "fucking cunt", said in aggressively or enraged manner, was clearly aimed at the OP.

You don't say "who the fuck leaves a glass there" if you are talking about the glass. He was CLEARLY talking about the person leaving it there. i.e. the OP. Unequivocally.

And that's really quite nasty and aggressive, and IMO quite different for saying "oh for FUCK's sake" over something going wrong e.g. spilling water.

I would feel hurt that my husband could say that about me and so aggressively even if he'd said it intended for me not to hear. But he said it loud enough for her to hear - on purpose.

He sounds like a bit of a dick and that he doesn't really respect you very much.

(OP also can I suggest you buy a cheap side table to keep your water on)

babyboomersrock · 08/01/2016 19:30

He was f'ing and blinding, again v angrily, the other day because he had to turn back from a walk encase of a downpour

Why on earth is he so bad-tempered? That must be so miserable to live with, OP.

Bogeyface · 08/01/2016 19:30

The OP said that she acknowledges that her habit of having water there is annoying, which suggests to me that he has mentioned it before and she keeps doing it. That would explain the fact that he lost his rag today.

She is feeding the baby and needs the water, but she doesnt necessarily need it in a glass that could easily be kicked over and broken. A compromise of a plastic bottle with a sports cap would be the best thing to do.

badg3r · 08/01/2016 19:35

YABU. He wasn't talking to you. Buy a reusable bottle!

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 08/01/2016 19:49

And you know that how, exactly badg3r?

OP- do you think he was saying it to you or the glass/situation?

I still say that, as someone else has said, the first time my partner says anything or anyone in his vicinity is a cunt will be the last. You can dress it up all you want as how sweary we all are/reclaim the word etc etc bla yada. But we all know that when a man shouts "fucking cunt" he tends to not be talking about a glass he's just knocked over.

Shutthatdoor · 08/01/2016 19:52

But we all know that when a man shouts "fucking cunt" he tends to not be talking about a glass he's just knocked over.

Women say it also. -You can read his mind can you--

TheSecondViola · 08/01/2016 19:56

We swear a LOT more in Ireland than youse do over there.
My OH is about as mild mannered as you could fi d but frequently swears at inanimate objects. Everyone I know does.

Huge overreactions from many on this thread. And lots of extra bits added in that OP never said....

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 08/01/2016 19:59

No, I can't read his mind, but I can search the OP's name and see just how many threads she's had in the past year about this abusive twat.

Flowers Mikado1 - sorry to bring up your other threads but I think you have been concerned that you are in an abusive relationship for quite some time. And I think you are right.

AthelstaneTheUnready · 08/01/2016 20:09

I would definitely object to being called a "fucking cunt" by my partner whether he thought I could hear him or not.

user7755 · 08/01/2016 20:45

He didn't call OP a fucking cunt, he called the water a fucking cunt.

If he did call the OP a fucking cunt, the correct response is 'I'm not a cunt, you're a cunt' (REF: Mickey Flannagan)

Seriously OP, chill out. I would say that people who don't swear when they spill / break something unexpectedly are in the minority - it's very cathartic, try it!

user7755 · 08/01/2016 20:47

Maybe I'm just overtolerant.. confused

Not of your dh having a rant you're not! Hmm

GarlicBake · 08/01/2016 20:49

What's your reason for belittling the OP and speaking for her arsey husband, user?

user7755 · 08/01/2016 20:51

The content of the OP is my reason Garlic, it's a complete over reaction. He didn't call her a cunt at all he had a rant because he kicked over a glass of water.

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