To ask is there an alternative to mumsnet out there for people who...

[Somethingisntactuallyanything]

Do not think smearing a soiled nappy on a car is a good idea, or mixing cat poo with milk and pouring it into airvents to get rid of problem parkers, etc etc. It's all gone a bit bizarre round here, and I used to read mn for sane, diverse, funny, wise intelligent opinion. Now my eyes bulge at the majority of posts / advice - people are aggressive and humourless far more often than wise, funny or kind. I'm hoping responses to this thread won't attract too many of those...

Has penis beaker ruined it for us long term posters?

If anyone can direct me to where all the old posters have gone I'd love to know

YY no naming people. You must quote and bold what they said instead. And then pick it apart. You must respond to the post not the name.

It is really gone for good Pag?

Worra

[gron]

See what I did there?

I think I must have arrived just as the fields were being dug up, because olden days MN sounds quite good.

I was only ever Pagwatch and Pagwatch but they were registered years ago under a dead email account.
Changed name during the massive site attack and can't get them back

The other thing I used to like was that it was easy to find people you knew and liked, in fact you couldn't avoid them, now they are like little teeny tiny sparkly flames shining amidst the dross and embers that smother the very life blood form the site.

Agree with sneery and nasty.

When I started posting on MN, pretty much every other poster was someone who I thought "yeah I'd like to go for a drink with you" - There was wit, humor and intelligence.

Those posters seem to have left in droves or drowned out by puerile, petty minded bigots.

Have you begged? They gave someone (can't remember who) their name back. Go direct to Honcho Justine and bat your eyelashes.

hully said it so more eloquently

Wasn't here for penis beaker, although have since read the thread and joined before Jeff. I've noticed a change since jeff- posters are more suspicious of each other as a result, unsurprisingly.

It was like being in a favourite pub . Now it's like Starbucks.

I did genuinely like that people would consider what was written and really respond. No one ever seems to apologise or change their mind or concede a different point of view.
It's just people banging one drum. Which is way less interesting to me tbh.

MN was at 3 when I joined, now it's 5 I think :(
Bring back the fields.

I did ask nicely but I think it's tricky.
I'll sort it out when I get back to England . I might just go with Paggy. Its all friendly and short.

Where are you now? Are you in the goddamned Caribbbbeannnean again?

I don't post much but I've read some really interesting stuff on here recently: the Kids Company threads were fascinating, as are some of the feminist threads.

I also think being able to hide and watch threads is brilliant (can you hide posters here? That would be great!)

It's changed partly because it's now a huge business; the demographic has changed as a result. And also because it's not self moderating, which I agree is a shame - I do think people ought to be able to call posters on it when they think they're lying. But that's MNHQ's choice

The internet is a strange place sometimes, there are odd / damaged / weird / angry people posting, wherever you go, pretty much. It's better here than some other places though IME

Interesting thread. I've spent far too long been around 7 years or so and recently felt there was little left for me apart from a few specific topics which are in general quite different from the rest of MN.
I used to love the wit and intelligence, I've never been comfortable with sweary vulgarity which is often all that dominates now.
I used to be able to browse Active convos and find something either fun or thought provoking. Mostly now the threads make me squirm.

I think Hully and Stratters have nailed it. The demographic has indeed changed.
I have been actively trying to find an alternative. Reddit has some good bits but is rather dominated by teenage boys. Other parenting forums have , well, too much emphasis on parenting. I am very interested in education and parenting teenagers but baby stuff is long in the past for me. I tried googling parenting forums or women's forums but they are either very NM or tumbleweed.

Perhaps I should give it up as a new year resolution and find something more useful to do.

Maryz, I've posted a better lifecycle of a forum before I think but I can't find it now!

I'm not keen on the sweary nicknames tbh but hey, they're allowed so...

Caprinihahahaha you are Pagwatch?
See there it is.
We all NC so much (through internet paranoia) it's like being with a bunch of strangers when it used to be as someone said like being down the pub with familiar faces.

Nowadays, threads are full of nastiness, with some aibu posters seemingly taking great pleasure in staying just the right side of the guidelines, and the guidelines are fixed - you can't say "fuck off"; you can say "I feel sorry for your children". The result is threads becoming sneery and nasty, rather than being straight up discussions.

I agree with that. There was always, um, heated debate, but the particular brand of nastiness on AIBU now is different. I've been on here since 2007, on and off, and though people were staggeringly rude at times, it was usually over something, not just because. The difference is huge in how the site feels, because the "ick" factor in watching someone barrel into AIBU with the sole intention of being as nasty as they can manage, whatever the topic, is really different to someone losing their rag over a subject that means a lot to them. I often disagreed with people in the latter situation, even thought them bonkers at times, but at least it wasn't spite for the sake of it. It was genuine, sincere belief underlying a lot more of the aggro that surfaced, I think.

I also think there's less accountability, just because the site is so massive. I've got the mind of a fruitfly, so maybe this is just me, but when I was first here, you recognised at least 70% of the names inside a month or two. Now, I hardly recognise any. And that's not namechanging, it's size of site. If people know they will have social consequences, even of the online type, they will usually behave with a bit more integrity. When it's an enormous churning torrent of posts, that doesn't hold true. The anonymity isn't just of a username, and a changeable one at that - it's of too many usernames for many to really register that much, I think. So any residual accountability is lost, unless someone actually cares enough to make an effort to talk to the few they recognise.

The first couple of years I was on here, the site went dead at 11 or so, because unless you had a new baby, you went to bed then so you could cope with the kids in the morning. It was almost solely British, and almost solely parents with dependent-aged kids. Now from all sorts of people, of all ages, from all over the world post, at all times. While that has benefits, obviously, it does also make for a far more anonymous experience.

www you can't hide posters on here unfortunately. We keep asking but it would be bullying according to some posters.