My girlfriend stopped taking the pill without telling me

[PhallicGiraffe]

I just found out that my girlfriend of 14 months, after asking her, didnt renew her pills for birth control round about mid-November. We've had lots of sex since. When I asked her why, she 'wanted to see how I'd react'.
We've talked about kids, and we've both agreed we want them, but not right now. AIBU to want to run for the hills?
P.s. As a bloke, wanting a female perspective.

Dealbreaker for me if you leave then she will see how you've reacted what a silly thing for her to say!!

Completely out of order

How old is she?

She sounds massively immature.

Run for the hills, don't look back!

This seems goady. I expect OP expected a lot of man-bashing.

Appalling thing to do to someone you claim to love. It would be a deal breaker for me.

That is a very weird and worrying 'reason'.

I too would say that she has broken your relationship, irrevocably.

Think it through... what else will she do to manipulate you? Do you want to live with that sort of fear and uncertainty!

Tell her, plainly, that her actions and her weird non justification have destroyed your trust. If she cries and says something along the lines of wanting to see how faithful, trustworthy etc you are harden your heart and ask her how she thought deceiving you in such a way would do that? Then leave without a backwards glance.

Should she be pregnant congratulate her and then discuss this with your parents... you will be grateful for some support... and make sure you are prepared to be a dad. DO NOT shout the odds, it will get you nowhere and she will use it all against you - especially if she comes here and tells her version of the story. The advice for her would be to take you for all you have got! So don't give her that ammunition.

Good luck.

Mintoil I think you're joking but just incase you make that joke to your sons too, you know more than one condom increases chances of failure, right?

Yes, run for the hills.

I know a man who posts here, he does it so he can get a 'woman's perspective'. He is aware that he is a bit, erm, 'unreconstructed' and didn't have a very modern role model.

His DW thinks it is funny / reasonable and tries very hard not to find him!

Yes run.

Snail
Why shouldn't he?? Plenty of people on here who don't have children. Would you have posted the same comment of it was a woman??

I'm a man without children but I am married, should I not be posting here?

OP if you are real, run to the hills.

This seems goady

How in the name of fuck does the OP's post sound goady????

I don't have kids should I not be posting here?

No reason why he shouldn't at all, just wouldn't see it as an obvious forum to use if you are childless / male.

The relationship is over anyway, as you will never trust her again.

Presumably you were also taking steps to control your own fertility - condoms, vasectomy? If you are having PIV sex and don't want children it's your responsibility too. Next time round, you need to control your fertility regardless of what your female partner is doing about her own birth control methods .

Oh, it's a genuine situation, I didn't mean to sound goady. I need advice from a neutral or slightly female biased place, and this is the first place I thought of.

I think she was testing you to see how serious you were about wanting children with her. Have you talked about other commitments to each other - such as marriage, long term financial commitments, that sort of thing? Having a child is not a commitment to each other unless these other things are also in place.

It's a massive breach of trust - I'd be mightily pissed off and would be thinking seriously about whether or not I wanted to be in a relationship with this person, never mind having children with them.

yes I am joking I also tell him to superglue a condom to himself before he goes out

I am lucky my DC have had really good sex ed at school, and they know they can talk to me about it, but I know some peoples teens seem to miss out, with sad results.

If her intention is to conceive and present it to you as a contraception failure then I'd rethink your relationship.

Why do you think she stopped taking the pill, just out of interest?

Given how sneaky she has been I would be tempted to make her take a pregnancy test as soon as she is due. If she was to become pregnant you need to know for sure it is yours. And in future, use a condom as well. Some women will trick men into pregnancy would glare at mother if she was here

I don't know....I think that in a committed relationship you should be able to trust someone if they say they are on the pill. I also think this is a massive breach of trust.

The not telling you is a massive problem. You really can't trust her.

She might not be pg yet - took 4 months with one of mine and sex twice - he started trying and DH was away with work straight after - but I'd be worried she very well could be.