Really angry about the queue for the loo today.

[Harriedharriet]

Was in a museum with dds today. They needed the loo so off we went. They are quite young, 7 & 8 yrs approx. The queue for the ladies was very long and very slow. No queue for the men's. They sauntered in and, a few minutes later sauntered out. All the men looked relaxed and at ease. All the women looked uncomfortable and ill at ease. We waited at least 20 minutes to get in. There were elderly women, pregnant women, women who looked drained, fatigued or just down right impatient.
Why do we have the same amount of space as men? Our biology is different. We need more space and more time. We menstruate. We reproduce the human race. And we bloody stand in a queue like cattle to attend to basic human needs.
Any architects out there? Why does this happen? It really is an outrage. I have spent so much of my life waiting for the loo in public spaces. Now to see my dds subjected to it really made my blood boil.
Anyone else?
Rant over, thanks for reading.

And on the subject of shit i go 2/3 times a day, as much as i think open cubicles for weeing are a good idea where am i supposed to go

im sure lots of men think the same thing...

I think facilities for women are often inadequate but I suppose in a large building with the same amount of loos for both men and women there is still often a queue for the women's.

On previous loo threads on MN where people have discussed their habits there is the eternal do you hover debate. People that hover were quite lambasted on one thread as they may pee on the seat and many preferred putting loo roll down, that does take time. Plus some hated the thought of others hearing them go to the loo so I wonder if people get stage fright in the loo if people are in the queue outside the door.

Do people really take their coat off to go to the loo?

moving that is a very valid point as it would seem really awful to next person to leave your waste down the loo.

If a minority of women are texting/doing makeup in the cubicle then that's them being selfish. But the vast majority won't be, so why should they be penalised by being given open cubicles, urinals and the other unpleasant suggestions on here?

And on the subject of shit i go 2/3 times a day, as much as i think open cubicles for weeing are a good idea where am i supposed to go

im sure lots of men think the same thing...

No doubt. But that's an argument for more cubicles in men's loos, it's not an argument against having more loos for women.

Off the subject slightly - but didn't women in Victorian times just crouch down more or less anywhere in their big skirts - they couldn't possible have hoisted them up without assistance...
Maybe that's a solution - women's toilets to have a few open (like urinals) standing up loos like you get overseas -then anyone who needed a quick wee - thinking you could wear a maxi dress/ skirt with no knickers/take them off -could squat down (although I guess wiping then might be slight problem... )
I said I have issues needing to go urgently if I know I can't and the widespread closure of public loos because of vandalism/lack of disabled access/lack of cleaning/use for sex etc makes this worse...I would quite willing at times go anywhere (believe me ...I have paddled in men's piss in sandals in a police station loo in Egypt, hovered over a boiling stinky overfull portaloo, dry retching in 30 degree heat in Greece) - I wouldn't mind anything with a screen...some privacy - so the lack of door I think would be a bit - especially as you would have to look in -say if you were looking to if it was free -or god forbid had to queue right in front of cubicles - therefore hard to avoid watching people on the loo ...

when the toilet bowl is full of poo, blood and a tampon

DO NOT flush your tampons down the loo

There was someone in the cubicle next to me who was in there when I went into the toilets and was still there as I was leaving after I'd washed my hands and put on my lippy - she didn't make a sound the whole time I was there.

That could be me. I had bowel cancer 4 years ago and since then it's rare that I only have to wee. Unfortunately letting go usually consists of some not-too-pleasant noises so if there is someone in the next cubicle I generally have to wait until I hear the flush/dryer before I can chance it.

Because people comment, and glare, and make stupid noises . One attendant made a huge ostentatious display of getting out the air freshener and wafting it around. It is a toilet FFS and its sole purpose is for elimination of bodily waste, but if you are an adult woman using it for that purpose other people get snotty. I wish I didn't need to but that is my life so I have to get on with it.

For the same reason I would hate to have to use unisex loos.

I totally get that, as someone who hates pooing in public toilets - but honestly, in busy works toilets with multiple cubicles and people coming and going all the time (and work waiting at your desk presumably) you could be in there for hours if you're waiting for a long period of time when no-one else is there. And then of course if you do start pooing there is always the very real chance of someone coming in, so then what do you do?

Indantherene, I agree with you that people's attitudes are ridiculous. We all poo, and everyone's poo smells. It is ridiculous that people feel the need to make comments about a bodily function that is a fact of nature. Why does that make you hate unisex toilets though? I would think that men would be much more matter of fact about pooing and less likely to have made a fuss with the air freshener.

FFS of you need a poo just do one! No one worth giving a dam about cares about farting plopping noises and poo smells. We all poo. We all make noises. We all have smelly poo to varying degrees at different time.

Don't sit in there blocking a toilet just in case someone might hear you plop!

I'm gonna point this out again (just for the shits and giggles!)

As well as having to deal with periods, pregnancy, peeing more often, peeing slower, having more issues with incontinence, increased risk of UTIs, taking kids in, and culmulative effect...

Door-less toilets because you think "most people dont shit" ignore the fact that women are more likely to suffer from ibs

Oh and "if i have the children i use the accessible toilet"... yeah, i ran into one of those yesterday too.

I'm another who's in and out really quickly and wonders what the hell takes some other women so long.

I suppose the trouble is that toilets, particularly public ones, are expensive to maintain, particularly in smaller towns in less wealthy parts of the country. I saw a news report once where elderly people (women mainly) were pretty much housebound due to the lack of public toilets. I can well believe it.

For most of us on here the lack of facilities simply an inconvenience (no pun intended). For some it's life-limiting.

That makes me angry absolutely and the useless stickers saying you can use the facilities here.
We no longer have a public loo in our local small town - we had one (literally) - it was nasty but it was a loo. They have closed it and the local cafe now has a sticker in the window saying you can use the loo here...fine but 1) it is still a bit awkward to walk into somewhere, past all the customers, say hello to the staff and just use the loo. (I have done it -but don't like to) and 2) it isn't open in the evenings, and all day twice a week ...so then I guess we just have to cross our legs?
When DCs were small I used to walk (with pushchair) to the library - there was no loo in there and no public loos - it used to take 2hrs or so, hard for me with my bladder problems but I coped - once the DCs got out of nappies then wanted to cycle/scoot took longer it was a bigger problem - I actually started driving. They then said they were refurbishing the library -great -but they didn't add a loo - there MUST be loos for the staff but they were closed to the public...I actually wrote to complain and they now will let you use one (in another part of the building) if you ask for the key.
Finally I was on a bus between two largish towns. I started needing the loo and getting panicky so I got off in a small town I used to know- knowing there were loos in the bus shelter (old brick thing -and yes they were horrid but they were loos) except they were closed down with a sign saying the nearest facilities are in the library. (Luckily I knew where the library was) But I found it was only open 2.5 days a week - luckily I'd chosen an open day or I have no idea what I would have done...and I had a 30 min wait for the next bus anyway...

Totally agree. Providing public toilets should be a legal requirements of councils imo.

If a cafe had a sticker saying 'we don't mind if you use our toilet even if you don't buy anything' I would go ahead and use it without feeling awkward. If the opportunity arose I would make a point of going back later to buy food/drink there.

McDonalds and probably chain coffee shops are good places to go as well. I have also used pubs if desperate. Or some shops like Marks and Spencers often have toilets.

I've never been challenged but if I was, I would say that I needed the toilet/wash hands and would then be ordering. The bar staff are hardly going to be waiting outside to escort you to the bar are they?

It's small touristy places that are often the worst. Lots of small independent cafes with notices stating that the facilities are for customers only, which I suppose is fair enough. These sort of places often have public toilets though.

I like scheme in Ealing (and possibly other places too.

Businesses who open up their public toilets to non-paying customers are paid by the council.
So the council saves money because it doesn't have to build, clean or manage toilets.
The public have much improved access to clean toilets in pleasant environments, where they are needed.
The businesses get increased footfall (because some toilet users then become paying customers) and goodwill, and a bit of money to cover the costs.

That sounds like a really good solution Tick

Isnt it Spain where you are entitled to go into any pub, and restaurant and use the loo?

Being terribly british i find that hard it once took us 3 hours to ge to the beach because everytime i popped into a bar to use the loo i felt obligated to buy another lager, and i have a very weak bladder

barbara

We once went to a burger king in london to use the loo (would get fries in the way out) and they had a bouncer refusing to let anyone in

That is so shocking. What planet are these people on? I would be happy to pay them 50p to use their blinkin' loo if they are THAT worried about a bit of loo paper and use of water. I've said this before: GOING TO THE TOILET IS A MEDICAL NEED! For everyone. Some need a loo more urgently than others, but we all need to go sometime. Any loo in a public place should be open to anyone.

There will be cafe owners on here who will disagree with me, and say "why should we allow our facilities to be used by non-customers". My answer is the above and what comes around goes around. They may not buy a coffee that day. But they might come back the next day or tell a friend who comes to your cafe. And maybe one day you will be having a day off and need the loo urgently. And why the heck should people be housebound (and it is mostly women) because they can't be sure they can use a loo? It is disgusting.

The issue of public toilets needs to be sorted out. It's an equality issue as many have pointed out. Yes some women faff but we need to take longer even if we don't faff.

And those with disabilities, both male and female need to go to the loo. More accessible loos are needed as well.

And parents with toilet-training kids should also have the confidence to take their kids out and know they can find a loo easily.

A few years ago the Womens Institute had a campaign about public loos, we need to restart it.

Several years ago I was involved in a minor way in the building of a new public building. The architects were female and the loos were beautifully designed with more loos for women than men. Every design feature of the building was based on firm academic research, all presented by the architect. However, although the committee split roughly 50/50 men/women, as so often happens, the ultimate purse strings were held by men. Space was limited so those loos were questioned, and questioned, and all the women involved were also questioned. I even found myself having to vehemently argue the case for hooks on doors ffs (this was nothing to do with my job) I did wonder how many men had ever sat in a similar board meeting having their toilet habits challenged...

I do think some people faff in the loo. I was chatting to my friend about this and she gets up and sits down about three times to ensure her bladder is properly empty. Hence takes three times long as me.

If they could make unisex loos in public places that are very busy ( I wouldn't go into any quite unisex loo) safe and floor to ceiling cubicals.

Reading what goes on with pervs in our unisex pool changing rooms would make me worried.

I agree with waiting for cystern to re fill.

Oh my god. Open cubicles are quite literally the stuff of my nightmares - I would never be able to go to the loo again! Could anyone seriously use these?

Standing up and sitting down several times is something that I was advised to do when I received treatment for continence problems after childbirth. So I wouldn't necessarily call that faffing.