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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really angry about the queue for the loo today.

303 replies

Harriedharriet · 27/12/2015 23:59

Was in a museum with dds today. They needed the loo so off we went. They are quite young, 7 & 8 yrs approx. The queue for the ladies was very long and very slow. No queue for the men's. They sauntered in and, a few minutes later sauntered out. All the men looked relaxed and at ease. All the women looked uncomfortable and ill at ease. We waited at least 20 minutes to get in. There were elderly women, pregnant women, women who looked drained, fatigued or just down right impatient.
Why do we have the same amount of space as men? Our biology is different. We need more space and more time. We menstruate. We reproduce the human race. And we bloody stand in a queue like cattle to attend to basic human needs.
Any architects out there? Why does this happen? It really is an outrage. I have spent so much of my life waiting for the loo in public spaces. Now to see my dds subjected to it really made my blood boil.
Anyone else?
Rant over, thanks for reading.

OP posts:
ColdTeaAgain · 28/12/2015 00:19

There's definitely two sides to this.

On one hand wtf do some women do in the loo?? Am pretty sure some sit there and touch up their make up, check phone etc, just not on when there is a huge queue!

But on the other hand, when you factor in that it is usually women that take children to the loo with them, women may need to change tampon etc and just the general logistics of peeing compared to men then of course a queue is going to build up.

The toilets at our shopping centre are just ridiculous, the queue is always trailing way back from the entrance. There probably needs to be twice as many compared to the mens.

stairway · 28/12/2015 00:19

I've never understood why women take so long. Even if you have a period it only takes a second to change a pad or tampon unless I'm doing it wrong.

Maryz · 28/12/2015 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alltheworld · 28/12/2015 00:20

Iirr in nyc new buildings have to have more ladies than gents

balletgirlmum · 28/12/2015 00:20

Most toilets in M&you fern buildings do gave more space for women. Urinals take less space & less time to use though.

Strokethefurrywall · 28/12/2015 00:21

Jaysus, I have to ask what some women do in the loo. I go in, hang bag, pull down pants, wee, pull up pants, get bag, wash hands and leave. I can even do that in a record breaking minute and a half with a 4 month old in a baby bjorn without pudding on his feet dangling in the loo.
But sometimes if I'm tired it can take a bit longer and all that!
We had visitors come to stay and I shit you not, we waited about 15 minutes for one friend "every single time" she went to the loo. So we'd be getting ready to leave wherever we were, with 2 young kids, and she l'd toddle off and we'd all be standing around waiting for her. And she was the only one in the loo!!! No queues or anything! Her boyfriend said he had no idea what she did in there either... Weird.

Original poster
Harriedharriet · 28/12/2015 00:21

of course we need more space. If you give 50 sq feet of loo to men and fifty to women you are immediately putting women at a disadvantage. I am stunned that some would say it is simply that women are not evolved in the art of efficient peeing. Consider me stunned.

OP posts:
lorelei9 · 28/12/2015 00:22

NYC has a lot of unisex loos too which I think is good.

SevenOfNineTrue · 28/12/2015 00:23

I always say that the toilets in major public attractions and stadiums are designed by men. They have no idea that we need at least three times the cubicles they have.

OfficeGirl1969 · 28/12/2015 00:25

I do actually know what some women do in the toilet cubicles at one of my local drinking establishments....they cram three of them in a cubicle and make squealing noises like stick pigs whilst taking selfies and posting them Facebook whilst the rest of us hover cross legged outside with this face Hmm

minceandmingle · 28/12/2015 00:25

The women's loos are always situated furthest away as well.

Which is daft whrn you consider that most young children use the women's loos and there are more older women than older men (because women live longer).

And both these groups are the ones who are most likely to have difficult walking distances and most likely to have continence issues.

It's a man's world.

lorelei9 · 28/12/2015 00:26

Harriet, square footage is a red herring unless you're assuming most men are happy to use urinals. Would you be okay with, for example, a theatre having 100 cubicles for men and 100 cubicles for women?

FlatOnTheHill · 28/12/2015 00:26

Casta
I am a woman. At 48 years old ive stood in plenty of loos waiting impatiently.
It takes a minute to change sanitary wear. As for the mooncup Grin

CastaDiva · 28/12/2015 00:28

And I see no evidence whatsoever that women take longer to pay for things at tills or withdrawing cash, unless you mean that it often involves taking a purse out of a hand bag. In which case ask yourself, why do women carry handbags? Why don't they just stroll around with a wallet, phone and a set of keys in their pocket, as most men do?

I agree with Maryz's point about women's toilets also essentially being family toilets. I am extremely fast in public loos, unless I have my challenging three-year-old son with me, in which case all bets are off. And if I'm out with him and DH and DS needs the loo, I often end up taking him in to the women's toilets where there isn't a family room/loo, because he's too little to use a urinal, and the men's loo in several places we've been recently has only a single cubicle or isn't particularly salubrious for a pre-schooler who has to be reminded not to touch things...

RB68 · 28/12/2015 00:28

Lets face it we can't whip out the weeing implement, pee, stick it back in our pants - we have to half get undressed before we can even sit on the toilet - men don't even need to sit down.

I think it has alot to do with fashion and clothing styles, the fact that most women end up taken the kids - boys and girls plus the fact that we have other issues to deal with in there such as periods.

The fact is that MORE people are using the female toilets MORE frequently, women and majority of children so we do need proportionately more space and facilities - urinals take far less room up so they get more in their equal space as well.

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2015 00:28

Remove the mirrors from the women's toilets and see how fast the queue will move.

Quick piss, wipe, wash hands and out the door.

thelaundryfairy · 28/12/2015 00:29

I would prefer unisex toilets as this means everyone who needs to use the toilet queues for the same length of time and everyone is catered to equally, also parents can take their child to the toilet regardless of the sex of the child or parent (my husband can feel a little awkward taking our daughter into the men´s bathroom if they are out together, but she´s too little to go into the women´s by herself).

OfficeGirl1969 · 28/12/2015 00:29

Love Worra........ Grin

OvertiredandConfused · 28/12/2015 00:30

Some comments on this thread have quite upset me. I am mid forties with no outward sign of disability.

I also have MS which causes endless and unpredictable continence issues.

Sometimes I can't wait and have to ask to queue jump. Sometimes, I can't go for ages even when I'm desperate so I sit in a cubicle for what must seem like a long time if you're in the queue.

I have limited feeling in one hand, the severity of which varies from minute to minute. When it's bad it takes me longer to sort out my clothing / sanitary products etc

Strangely enough, public loos are not my favourite places. Feeling that other women are making judgements because I look "normal" really doesn't help.

Rant over. Thank you.

FlatOnTheHill · 28/12/2015 00:31

Worra
Grin

Maryz · 28/12/2015 00:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Harriedharriet · 28/12/2015 00:32

Today waiting I really did not get annoyed at the women in the loo. I got annoyed that we all paid the same amount of money to go in and the facilities are great for the men (no queue, plenty of space) and were dire for us. As a previous poster said we need three for everyone they have. It affects everybody as well. My DH was most irritated. And asked the "what in heavens name were you doing in there?". Well waiting actually. I did not find the other women especially inefficient (although the do exist obviously).

OP posts:
FlatOnTheHill · 28/12/2015 00:32

Worra, that was meant to have a laughing face at your 'quick piss' comment

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2015 00:34

It's true though!

I take the point about women tending to take kids in with them and that can really slow a queue down.

But my God do some women fanny around at the mirrors, getting in everyone's way.

Some have handbags like clown cars...they seem to contain every single hairbrush and make-up item known to mankind.

hiddenhome2 · 28/12/2015 00:38

I waited in a queue the other day and there was a woman in the cubicle who was so obviously faffing that it was ridiculous. She was chatting on to her companion who was stood outside waiting for her. She then started huffing and puffing and sighing Hmm

She eventually emerged, still huffing and puffing over something and continued whilst she washed her hands.