Really angry about the queue for the loo today.

[Harriedharriet]

Was in a museum with dds today. They needed the loo so off we went. They are quite young, 7 & 8 yrs approx. The queue for the ladies was very long and very slow. No queue for the men's. They sauntered in and, a few minutes later sauntered out. All the men looked relaxed and at ease. All the women looked uncomfortable and ill at ease. We waited at least 20 minutes to get in. There were elderly women, pregnant women, women who looked drained, fatigued or just down right impatient.
Why do we have the same amount of space as men? Our biology is different. We need more space and more time. We menstruate. We reproduce the human race. And we bloody stand in a queue like cattle to attend to basic human needs.
Any architects out there? Why does this happen? It really is an outrage. I have spent so much of my life waiting for the loo in public spaces. Now to see my dds subjected to it really made my blood boil.
Anyone else?
Rant over, thanks for reading.

As a pp said, it's usually the mum who takes the kids in (God knows why). Helping small DC wee takes ages (especially in the winter, past layers of clothes) and is another thing that causes ladies loo queues to move so slowly.

The whole queuing business drives me mad. I once a spent the whole interval at my one and only trip to the ballet standing in the effing loo queue.

I did have a sneaky wee -I squeezed it out on principle

Brilliant!!!

The ones which get me are those without paper, where an attendant grudgingly hands out about two sheets to each new hopeful. My French is reasonably fluent, but even I really don't fancy an involved conversation as to why I sometimes need more

It's another reason I always carry packs of tissues

SirChenjin I agree you shouldn't just hog the cubicle, I was just offering what I consider to be a plausible explanation as to why some people take ages. I also have IBS and I've been standing in a long queue close to tears many a time because I'm afraid I won't make it to the front of the queue in time.

We have unisex loos at work and they are fucking rank. No proof of who the culprits are but I've never had it in another office with separate loos; massive skidmarks in the bowls etc. People don't seem to know what the loo brush is for. I'd rather wait and have separate I think.
Re women taking a long time, I remember a post about it on here before and someone saying they wait until someone uses the hand dryer before they wee so people don't hear.

I honestly thought the replies on this thread would be fairly unanimous about the need for better and larger toilet facilities for women (as in more cubicles, not larger as in square footage) and instead it's full of sneering about how women spend too much time faffing.

Maybe there is a need for more toilets.

However there is a little of faffing that does go on which doesn't help.

*lot of

I completely agree op.

Common sense would tell you that women take longer to pee in public bathrooms than men. Surely I am not the only one that always takes longer than dh even without a queue? Just the act of entering the cubicle, locking the door, hanging up handbag/shopping/coat on hook, checking seat is clean, possibly having to flush before use, looking in bag for tissues if there's no loo roll, taking down clothing, pee, wipe, pull up clothing, flush, put back on coat, gather up bags. Of course this take considerably longer than simply opening a button and zip, pee, close button/zip. If you have ten people in the queue in front, and each take an extra minute to complete all this, then that adds ten minutes to your wait compared to men in a comparable queue. So I don't understand the poster who says 'it adds a minute at most and so has no impact'. Of course it has an impact!

I will never understand why there aren't more women's toilets and agree with you op that it is a disgrace!

The comments that women take too long are out of order. Someone could be emptying a colostomy bag or something

As do some men....

What I don't understand with these women should have 3 times the space because of urinals, well with urinals except when it's ridiculously busy most men don't go shoulder to shoulder, but even when packed and shoulder to shoulder an average body is the size of the toilet so to include fixtures and fittings isn't it only say 1 woman less for every 3 men say so not enough to make big lines of 40 when men are in and out

I have thought exactly the same thing as the OP. I do think it's a feminist issue - while women may faff around at the sinks, doing make up etc, I am not sure there's huge faffing actually inside the cubicles, and the queues are almost always for the cubicles, not the sinks.

Why does my DH barely ever have to queue, and the DDs and I often do? Why do I avoid going to the loo before / during / after any kind of concert or event, because the queues are likely to be horrendous, but my DH can just pop in and out? If 90% of architects were women (and had been women in the past, building the buildings of the past) would there be the same number of loos for men and women?

The links higher up to legislative changes suggests that this is a genuine issue and not just a case of faffy women.

The whole thing reminds me of this cartoon - fair does not always mean equal.

Because WahhHelpme you need elbow room to sit down, remove clothing, put in tampons etc. It is not the same as standing at a urinal.

All those talking about "faffing" are just missing the point, the fact that there are nearly always long queues in women's toilets and not men's means that they are designed with men in mind and not women, end of. Mirrors on the wall also have nothing to do with it as the queues are before you even get in there.

I am just at the amount of posters trying to say otherwise.

I went to a recent do where the toilets were unisex. Rather than have 4 cubicles/urinals in a room for men, and 4 cubicles in a different room for the women, there were 8 little rooms with a loo, sink and dryer in each room.

That meant everyone had to queue. Us ladies did enjoy telling the blokes to queue when they tried to saunter past us because they thought they were looking for normal men's loos and there would be no queue for those, but I do wish the net result was that no-one had to queue instead of EVERYONE having to queue.

I was a tad surprised, recently, in a Waitrose of all places, to find a short queue for the one ladies room. There were in fact three pretty identical doors. I know from previous occasions, that the facilities behind each door are pretty identical: loo, basin, changing mat etc. One is marked as women, and other mens and third disabled. The women were all queueing for the one women's.

I expected that it was one queue for all three, or at leave for the men's and for women's. No, they are all queueing for the women's. I was perfectly happy to use the mens but would jump in front of those already queuing. It took a while for me to explain what I meant. The first three women in the queue just looked shocked at the idea of using the mens, even when i had opened the door to show it was a single room, not a urinal or anything to make difficulties. The next and last in the queue was a women with two toddlers in toe. She still hesitated until one of of the toddlers started to walk i to the room (i was still holding the door open).

She came out , i checked again with those in the queue and then used it myself.

When i came out, the queue was still , well, queuing. What did they think might happen to them?

I'm glad to report that, since i raised the issue, the two doors marked men and women are now marked by a picture of both a man and a woman. Sigh.

finally

I always do that if they are single cubicles

I dont give a shit what the sign says

I have been desperate to post

Dont give a shit

For the whole thread

As two pp's have mentioned, the limiting factor is often the time taken for the cistern to fill. Most women won't leave a loo unflushed or partially flushed.

In principle I like the idea of unisex. In practice men tend to pee everywhere and not care too much as they don't have to be in close proximity to it.

Women's urinals would speed things up considerably, for those that only want a wee. I guess it's generations of patriarchy that have taught us that women must sit to wee, when a little practice proves otherwise.

It's not the number of toilets that needs addressing. It's the women who go in a cubicle and take 5 mins to have a damn piss. Yes there will be women changing San pro but there are also a lot that fucking faff around. In, lock door, sit down, pee for about 30 seconds, wipe, clothes back up, unlock door. It should not take more than 90 seconds.

A she wee isn't the answer. I could never pee with people watching. I have recurring anxiety dreams about needing the toilet, and none of the cubicles have doors!

Derek, wtf? You're joking right?

If not, how will a she wee help when queuing for the loo at the interval in a theatre?!

Obviously more cubicles would help the issue. Yes. However, I've read many threads on MN where women admit - no not admit, that implies they feel it is wrong - proudly state that they cover the seat with loo roll before starting, then (and I find this completely ) wait until they hear a flush or hand drier before peeing so nobody hears. They then have to clear up all the loo roll and usually lush twice to get rid of it all. There is no denying that if women are doing this they are not helping the situation! I don't think it's anti-feminist to suggest so, either.

I think most buildings do have more cubicles for women then men (dh and I often compare as I wondered why there were queues). I am a fan of unisex, I see no reason for separate facilities, it just perpetuates sexism. I can't believe that facilities would be in that much worse of a state, the number of times I've had to wipe piss off the seat before my dc sit down due to the hovering brigade. If you're going to hover wipe your piss up. Don't leave it there for a kid to put their hands in as they push themselves up to the loo. Men pee on the floor - that is not as bad (although I'd rather they didn't).

I do take ages sometimes if there is no queue - I look at my phone, I put lip balm on and check in my handbag mirror. Sometimes I take a breather from whoever I am with but I NEVER do these things if there is a queue but I think a lot of people do as a lot of people are selfish. The only time I take a long time if there is a queue is if I am constipated and I'm with the person who said that more private facilities would help with this kind of issue.

I don't have much patience for people who won't send boy dc aged 7+ into the mens. I don't have any patience for women who bring dc into the toilet when they have a male with them who could take the dc with them. WHY do people do that?

I am more irritated about the height of sinks that don't allow dc to access taps and soap that is out of their reach than queues as handwashing is a more obvious public health hazard. That is a legacy of a male designed world.