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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset....

419 replies

Phalenopsisgirl · 27/12/2015 10:36

Booked a 3D scan for today as thought this would be a lovely thing to do as a family (dh, ds and 2 dss) at Christmas and told older step children about it a few weeks ago. One showed no interest and said at the time he would probably have plans so I let it go there and then but other ( who lives with us full time ) said yes,great, he'd be there. This morning he has clearly forgotten and announces he has a guest coming round, I was not consulted directly but pointed out to dh that guest should be put off until later in the day as a previous commitment has been made but dh decides to take the easy route and just let it go. Left feeling really crushed, dh can't see why I am upset and can't understand that he should be showing his adult sons that if you have committed to something you should see it through, even if you have forgotten once reminded you should stick with first commitment. Note my parents would have loved to have come but I didn't invite as was treating it as a thing for just the 5 of us. AIBU?

OP posts:
fidel1ne · 27/12/2015 11:30

Bunbaker it's not a proper scan, not a medical screening - it's entertainment to co-opt your mortifies family into.

insancerre · 27/12/2015 11:31

Yabu and weird

PuppyMonkey · 27/12/2015 11:32

It's known as a 4D scan round here - not done in a hospital it's supposed to be an "experience." I'm sure your step kids think it's more something for you and your DP not them.

AliceScarlett · 27/12/2015 11:34

Ugh a scan "experience", makes me shudder.

TheGullibleGull · 27/12/2015 11:35

What a bonkers idea. 😂

TheOriginalMerylStrop · 27/12/2015 11:35

Sorry but I think that is the most bizarre family day out I have ever heard proposed.

YABU to get funny about it with them

lostinmiddlemarch · 27/12/2015 11:37

I think it's very naive of you to expect your step-sons to be interested in this scan in the first place. The one who committed to going was clearly being polite.

Aspergallus · 27/12/2015 11:38

I think you have been kidding yourself about their interest and had a rude awakening to find that they were perhaps showing polite interest only.

TBH, if you have had all the scans you actually need, it does just sound like an opportunity for you to feel like the centre of attention and you are having a little strop because others are not complying.

ghnocci · 27/12/2015 11:39

It wasn't a gender scan, you found out the sex not gender.

And it wasn't even that anyway, it was an anomaly scan. HTH

TenTinyTadpoles · 27/12/2015 11:41

The last thing I wanted when I had scans was an audience. It was strictly me and the father only. We didn't have any of the 3d scans 'for fun' as that seemed too much. Each to their own of course.

gamerchick · 27/12/2015 11:43

OP let it go, it's true that teens are fickle. Ask your parents along if you want and enjoy your experience.

BitchPeas · 27/12/2015 11:44

I think you need to massively adjust your expectations as to what teenagers find fun before your own DC reach that age!

Witchend · 27/12/2015 11:44

I think it's very sweet he showed an interest at the beginning. But I'll put bets he's been looking round for an excuse to avoid.
I'm sure each of my dc would have no interest in going to one despite they've all been suggesting a new baby would be lovely (in dd2's case she's after tripletsHmm)
It seems to be an odd choice for a day out as a family. Grandparents, maybe, but children? No.

gamerchick · 27/12/2015 11:44

Heh I was waiting for the gender crew. It's the new vulva Grin

WorraLiberty · 27/12/2015 11:46

Sofas?

Screens?

Super fun?

I'm sorry but that sounds like a weird day out, and even weirder for an adult/teen stepson.

Just go and enjoy it without worrying about what anyone else wants to do.

fidel1ne · 27/12/2015 11:49

I can't stop saying 'super fun' now. DS and the dog are looking at me strangely Grin

diddl · 27/12/2015 11:51

I think that it's nice that you invited them as they seemed to feel not included when you did other stuff with just your son.

Best to just accept that they're not interested though.

I certainly don't agree that their father should be talking to the younger one about seeing commitments through though!

It'll go ahead, no plans are ruined & it sounds as though you were doing it mainly for your son anyway.

WilburIsSomePig · 27/12/2015 11:52

Go and enjoy it.

I understand you being upset about them breaking a commitment but I really don't see why it would be fun for them at all, sorry.

AliceInUnderpants · 27/12/2015 11:53

"uber fun"?

Afterwards were you going to watch a colonoscopy?

I'd assume these adult males would prefer the next baby scan they watch to be their partner's, not their step-mum's.

BackInTheRealWorld · 27/12/2015 11:53

And while we are at it, no one will care about your scan pictures either...people are just polite and make the right fake noises to be nice.

Jesabel · 27/12/2015 11:55

I didn't even find my own scans that interesting tbh Grin

fidel1ne · 27/12/2015 11:59

No Alice DSS was (allegedly) uber excited about the 'super fun' scan Wink

Pedantry over Smile

He wasn't uber or super anything, of course. OP will probably realise when she is less hormonal that he was being charming and polite and indulgent of his DSM's temporary insanity.

TheWitTank · 27/12/2015 12:03

I had a 4d scan with my two (now 10 and 8) and they were great -but I wouldn't expect anyone else other than DH and I to be interested at all, other than perhaps a look at the pictures after if they wanted to. Mine didn't involve sofa's and cake though!
In the nicest possible way, I think YABU. I wouldn't think it would be very exciting for a young man to see (unless it was his own child) and I would imagine their feigned interest was politeness. I wouldn't really want to spend my Sunday watching someone else have a scan. Go and enjoy it yourself and don't be annoyed with them.

wotoodoo · 27/12/2015 12:06

Sounds to me your stepsons were super polite going along with your first scans and being very kind and interested. Don't you think they were saying what they expected you to hear? Fabulous diplomatic skills.

Now, op, you need the same fab diplomatic skills, brush it off, get them a pizza and beers when you find the outcome of the latest scan just as you wanted.

But please don't insist they all sit round and watch the dvd of it (does it come on a dvd?) as if it was the greatest thing since the latest Star Wars movie Hmm

JohnLuther · 27/12/2015 12:06

It sounds like hell on earth and I'm not a teenager, sorry OP but nobody else has to be interested.

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