To be upset....

[Phalenopsisgirl]

Booked a 3D scan for today as thought this would be a lovely thing to do as a family (dh, ds and 2 dss) at Christmas and told older step children about it a few weeks ago. One showed no interest and said at the time he would probably have plans so I let it go there and then but other ( who lives with us full time ) said yes,great, he'd be there. This morning he has clearly forgotten and announces he has a guest coming round, I was not consulted directly but pointed out to dh that guest should be put off until later in the day as a previous commitment has been made but dh decides to take the easy route and just let it go. Left feeling really crushed, dh can't see why I am upset and can't understand that he should be showing his adult sons that if you have committed to something you should see it through, even if you have forgotten once reminded you should stick with first commitment. Note my parents would have loved to have come but I didn't invite as was treating it as a thing for just the 5 of us. AIBU?

A family outing to see inside someone? Yuck. No idea why anyone would think anyone would be interested in that.

Have to say, I never saw scans as a family social event.

I wouldn't push him to go at all. It would hardly be cool for a teenage boy to tell his friends that he couldn't meet them because he had to go to his step mum's scan. That is whatever he says to you in private.

Go with your DH and enjoy it. I hope it goes well.

You are an amazing stepmum for wanting them to be involved but yabu about the scan. It's of little consequence to your adult stepsons. I'm sure they'll be far more excited about the baby, when he or she arrives.

Yabu.

Scans are a medical procedure, a diagnostic tool. Not a nice family day out.

I would never think of a scan as "fun". Theres always a chance they might find something, and as these scans arent intended to be diagnostic, you end up in the hell of being referred back to the nhs and waiting to find out whats wrong with your baby.

My friends parents took her along as a 7 year old to her brothers scan as a nice day out- big suprise, took her out of school for this massive treat, got her really excited. Only for there not to be a heatbeat.

Chances are that wont happen, obviously, but i dont think its worth taking the chance.

"A treat for children isn't a 3d scan of their step mums pregnancy." I would be horrified if my ex had taken my ds to his dp's scan. Not even appropriate imo.

I. Feel sorry for the people working over the Xmas break (on a Sunday no less) doing non essential scans!

YABU. I just said this to my 10-year-old. She shrugged, 'Why on Earth would a teenager want to go see that? I wouldn't and I'm not even a teen.'

Sorry - totally naff imvho

I went through years of fertility treatment so when we finally got a viable pregnancy it was huge to us. Even so I appreciated that to everyone else it was just another pregnancy and they weren't ever going to be as excited as us.

Sadly going through fertility treatment you know only too well how fragile a pregnancy can be and scans are really for diagnostic purpose only regardless of how they are packaged as the latest money spinning fad.

Go to the scan and enjoy, the children will still love the new baby whether they go along or not.

I think it is a strange family day out tbh.

DH and I might go by ourselves but we certainly wouldn't take anyone with us.

Each to their own though. Enjoy it .

I'm really amazed people haven't heard of these they were around 10 years ago I think but never really wanted one. We went to have a gender scan as our hospital scan didn't offer gender ident, they do a mini 4 d one included to hook you in and it was actually super fun, d's and dh sat crying as you can see everything, her movingand face expressions etc and I must admit it was nice. Ds has been asking for the full 'experience'ever since. My hurt wasn't about the fact dss not wanting to come that would have been fine, but he was really keen and excited and so I got excited, now feel totally flattened.

That's kind of part of the territory with teenagers, I'm afraid. Fickle as hell! Especially where their social lives are concerned.

Sorry, I don't want to stick the boot in but I have to agree with PPs - there is no way I would want to see someone else's scan, related to them or not.

If a friend/relative asked me to go to one for hand holding purposes I would be there in a heart beat but not for entertainment purposes. Your pregnancy is special to you, leave it that way.

Maybe it was an act as you seem very excited despite it being the fourth baby in the family. I don't know many older teens who would be thrilled with a new baby half sibling. Far too much of an age gap let alone usually step family issues.

"I'm really amazed people haven't heard of these"

They weren't around when I was pregnant.

Sorry, but clam is right. Let's face it, when you are a teen/young adult seeing your friends is far more interesting than seeing your stepmum's baby scan. He probably said yes because he had nothing planned, but a better offer came along. Normally I don't approve of bailing out of commitments for a better offer, but having a cinematic bay scan viewing is, IMO, a bit odd.

I agree with everybody else scans are not really a group activity yes they are excited about the baby but scans are dull they just are just go take who wants to go and enjoy it.

I've heard of them, the whole concept is weird. Excitement is likely an act, prepare for similar lack of interest when it's born.

I've just googled. You can even get cake and take 15 guests! Please don't tell me that people post the scan film on FB as well.

Super fun? Totally flattened?

Is this a wind up?

My own teens would have no interest in seeing what is essentially gynae scan of the contents of my womb, even if the contents were a small sibling. You sound like a marketing exec's dream victim customer. Honestly, this is all very weird sounding.

Give yourself a small shake and get on with your day

These scans freak me out slightly they were not around when i had my babies and im baffled that you get a dvd and there is a private scanning place near me that offers baby shower packages!

I hope it goes well anyway, and they don't find anything untoward

I think you should step away from here, be chilled about whoever wants to or doesn't want to go... And enjoy your scale with those that are excited about going. Don't let this flatten you, it's simply isn't worth it.

And congratulations to

Ive seen 4d scans on fb its just odd and they look like little aliens