Do you know any misogynistic women?

[ovaryhill]

I've been reading a bit about this and wondered how common it is.
Has anyone had any experience of this?
I know at least one woman who behaves as if she hates other women and is very derogatory about women in general, agrees that wearing short skirts means you're asking for trouble kind of thing, sees other women as a threat and would prefer to work for men
Any opinions or experience?

My old manager in the nhs was a vile bully to her 99% female workforce, it was embarrassing to watch her suck up to male consultants, we tended to think it was her old fashioned view of doctors until we got a rare male colleague and she behaved like the sun shone out of his ass. She was a hideous woman in general !

I wonder sometimes if some female misogynists have just found that being like that is quite a successful technique for acceptance/deflection and not being seen as a threatening/aggressive woman by men. And so it becomes a self reinforcing pattern (which is the aim of social conditioning for one section of the population to control themselves I suppose).

Bit like some people pretend to be a bit less clever than they really are to be more accepted. It's a "know your place and make no waves" kind of thing.

As for the "I get on better with men than women" thing, I think there is something in that that isn't about misogyny by the individual, but is a product of societal misogyny at large. It has occurred to me that is easier for men to be themselves i.e. they aren't so weighted down by so many social roles/expectations to be everything to everyone. So some men get comfortable with themselves and to know themselves (who they really are, what they really like, what they really want out of life) earlier than a lot of women are able to. And it is usually easier to be comfortable round/properly connect with people who like/are comfortable with themselves.

Although that doesn't detract from the fact that a lot of guys will pretend to be whatever they think you want if they fancy you. And even a mild sexual connection can make it easier to break the ice. But that doesn't really create real friendship though, but it's difficult to spot that.

Fair enough to get on better with men.

It's when people say this and state it's because "women are too bitchy' that it's misogynist

Interestingly I used to think I got on better with men than women. I now realise I had simply met a lot of not very nice women !

A friends aunt is a horrible misogynist - really awful views on rape etc. Was on jury duty last year for a rape case

Or maybe sum they were like me, teased and tormented endlessly by groups of girls in school so you choose not to put yourself in that situation if possible. Boys were just so much kinder to me and therefore I ended up preferring their company as I felt accepted.

having two x chromosomes is not a guarantee of brainpower or the ability to use it. Many women are as stupid as many men, and these kind of comments are the province of the stupid, ignorant or lazy.

ignore in both genders. And don't breed with anyone who thinks like this!!

...and having two x chromosomes also doesn't necessarily make you more interesting or insightful, either. Nor does it mean that you want to associate with men because of 'male approval'.

it's what is between the ears that matters, not the legs.

AnyFucker "I think you have been highly unlucky to be surrounded by women you can't click with and men who are only interested for the sex you can give them

Perhaps you should completely rethink your friendship group ?"

This kind of comment is hugely insulting to both men and women and particularly insulting to the poster you were talking to. So men are only ever friendly to women to sleep with them and that is all that women have to offer them? Every single time?

I work with one. She genuinely believes that DV and rape victims must bring it on themselves, that most men accused of such acts are probably the result of 'vindictive' women trying to get attention. She also thinks that most prostitutes are doing it for 'fun'. I'm not exaggerating, she has said all of these things. Unfortunately she is my boss and has made my life very difficult when I have challenged her on these views. I literally cannot understand the way she thinks, it makes me very sad though because she is currently pregnant and god knows how she would bring up a daughter. Or a son for that matter...

Also, on a regular basis on MN, there are threads about gender disappointment or gender in general, and you can guarantee there will be posters who will say that they prefer to have boys because daughters will be bitchy and little madams. It makes me want to weep!

And you just know that these will be the ones who will hate their DILs in future life.

"I work with one. She genuinely believes that DV and rape victims must bring it on themselves, that most men accused of such acts are probably the result of 'vindictive' women trying to get attention. She also thinks that most prostitutes are doing it for 'fun'" I have heard all those views expressed on here..

Last year i got back in contact with an old friend via fb. I wasnt prepared for her daily misogny, so after a few months i blocked her & let it go.

Didnt believe in feminism, didnt value the thoughts or words of women, critisized young girls for their clothes/appearence, same with female celebs, spent most time talking with MRA types.

I said to her- im a feminist, we can talk about what feminism means, but no. The crap continued.

Its a shame, she is not a bad person & has been through alot but it was such a constant negative thing it was better we parted ways.

She is older than me & im almost 40.

I wonder if they realise in talking/judging/dismissing other women they are doing the same to themselves, or see themselves as 'above' it,because men approve of them & thats all that matters to them.

It is definately for male approval in the case i described. I accept that she cant change because of her life experiences, i dont hate her, she has my great empathy, however i couldnt be around it as it was toxic to me.

Looks like this thread is going to go the usual way soon though.

SIL is definitely a self-hating misogynist, and I despair for her daughters. She's a career woman in a very male field and will slag off her female employees absolutely mercilessly. I've never met any of these women, yet know intimate details of how they took a whole week off when they miscarried, or how they wear too many low cut tops, or other petty crimes.

She has a total Daily Mail outlook on everything, so it's not surprising she hates other women. She's so hard on her two DD who are obviously petrified of her, and they always have to dress and act perfectly or risk her wrath. I just hope they learn to rebel.

Loooooads, including me when I was young. I was a 'cool girl'

Well, I would say that I definitely get on better with men than women at an acquaintance and not close knit group situations, and this is probably due to sexism in society (and myself).

As for real friends, I would say that I have more or less 50/50 and I am probably closer to the women, but I find that generally small talk is very genderised in group situations and "go to" conversational topics are boring on both sides. However, when you mix up the sexes, it seems that there are not so many standard and expected topics to go to, so the conversation is more free and more likely to try and find real common ground or interests (IYSWIM). If I were a man I would then say I get on better with women on social settings for the same reason.

(I'm aware I am not explaining myself very well at all).

Me about the ow involved in the breakdown of my marriage.

bananafish I've worked with one of them too. She gave me so much rage I used to have a fantasy about beating her up. I must add I've never been violent or had violent thoughts towards anyone before ever.

My mother is massively misogynistic. If a man tells a lie and a woman tells the truth, she'll always believe the man first. It has cost her hugely but she is incapable of changing. She sees all women as a threat and all men as fair game.

Unfortunately, I do. These women always make sacrifices I would find unpalatable when it comes to successful equal relationships. It's always a struggle. When it should be harmonious.

They will make every excuse under the sun and the moon to prop up their men, and if this includes throwing women under the bus to keep the peace, they will do it.

I know one person who will make comments about a woman, questioning why her partner wants to be with her, at her "size", "she's not very pretty" etc etc. She also came up with a story about some poor guy who got done for assaulting his girlfriend, but he didn't really do it. He was set up by the awful woman, and now he's not allowed to see his kids on his own. And she was really indignant at the unfairness of it all

Plenty others - girls in short skirts/drinking too much asking for it. Women being manipulative and calcuating, and seducing these poor innocent men who just can't help themselves, etc.

A female relative was upset that a another relative had been jailed for sexual assault on his daughter when she was a child. The charges were brought years later when the daughter was grown up. My relative's upset was not at the dreadful things that had been done to this young girl, but at the fact the daughter had chosen to bring this up years later. She really thought it should have been left in the past and she shouldn't be "causing trouble". This makes me despair.

When I was dating my now DH, family gathering at the in-laws meant the men went to the pub while the women stayed at home with any children.

I know far too many. From teenage to quite elderly. Fewer surprisingly in the mid 30s to mid 50s age range. I wonder if that is just my experience or have societal attitudes swung one way and then back again. Anyone have any thoughts on that?

I used to have a friend (and worked with her for quite a while) who was very misoginystic. She used to rant a lot and could be quite hateful in her speach about women. I used to wince when she went off on one

The ranting about the woman who were 'just after money' with regards to historical abuse were quite spiteful from someone who herself was abused

There's a lot of it about (no shortage of it on here actually) and I imagine many of us have fallen into the trap ourselves before as it is so culturally ingrained.

I think rather than low intelligence as a pp has suggested it is more to do with lack of confidence and in more extreme cases, self-loathing.

I get on better with the people I get on better with. I have a small but very close and long standing group of friends men and women. We like books, films , wine , music, eating out and travelling ; sport , either playing it or watching it is a bore. Politically we are either socially liberal Conservatives or just to the left of centre Labour supporters although none of us voted yes in the indie referendum.

.I haven't had a male friend without there being some kind of sexual element since primary school to me seems as odd as women stating they get on better with men.

I think you have been highly unlucky to be surrounded by women you can't click with and men who are only interested for the sex you can give them

Whilst the above comment is just as misogynistic as any of the other attitudes being complained about.

I used to "get on better with men" in my 20s but it wasn't covert flirting or anything it was simply that there were very few women doing my subjects at uni and very few doing the sports and hobbies I did.
Over time I've met more fantastic women who also do the sports I do and I've also spent more time with women at work and through having a child.

My not having many female friends at uni was another facet of the pressure that meant the women I did know spent so much time and effort on clothes and make up and pulling men and I just didn't get that. There were expectations on both genders and for me it was easier to "be a lad" than to confirm to the expectations of women.