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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't wait to give away my presents

163 replies

HopsNim · 25/12/2015 23:06

Is this terrible? As I get older I just find I'm way more particular about the stuff I like. Also I HATE clutter and I've been trying to only keep things that I love or that are useful in the house.

I rarely keep any presents I get, around 90% get re gifted or sent to charity shop. It means I really treasure the lovely stuff (this year: posh towels from dsis; organic face cream MIL; diamond necklace DP; Molton brown bits from BIL and new books and wine from DM. And it doesn't get missed in the sea of Bayliss & Harding-esque gift sets (label snob Grin), festive socks/hats/scarves, photo frames and ornaments that I shall be dispensing of on Monday.

OP posts:
Candleabras · 25/12/2015 23:41

Fucking hell op, you come on here to sound off a bit, and look what happens. You're in AIBU, and the support never lasts long.

Don your crash hat, I do when I come here, they're vultures.

TimeToMuskUp · 25/12/2015 23:41

I have some Molton Brown shite in my shower. It smells like old ladies pantaloons and makes me come out in a rash so I've donated it to DH's pile of crap in there for him to waste/use up. If I got some for Christmas I'd still smile and be grateful, just as I would for a Bayliss and Harding, because I've been skint at Christmas and I know just how fucking hard people have to work to be able to afford those gifts, let alone that they thought enough of someone to bother buying for them.

It's not often I mention the spirit of Christmas because it's different for everyone, but this thread is just shitty and mean. Regift or donate to charity, but to bitch and moan about it is spiteful.

SeptemberFlowers · 25/12/2015 23:41

Well you said you were giving away your presents, so thought I'd try my luck ! Hmm

In all serious though you do sound very ungrateful. Many many people put there have not received any gifts or have been on their own this Christmas. So I find posts like yours highly distasteful.
Xmas Biscuit

ovenchips · 25/12/2015 23:42

I cross posted OpsNim Sometimes threads move fast and the OP(you) has already done another post while a poster(me) is also writing one of their own.

To answer your question: no I don't think I would call anything sparkly a diamond.

I sort of get your sentiment tbh but the listing of your acceptable presents gave the post a particular sort of boastful feel.

SeptemberFlowers · 25/12/2015 23:42

*out

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 25/12/2015 23:42

I have a friend who does this. She is also the friend who refused to cut down the gift-giving to Secret Santa only (group of 6 friends inc me- 5 presents usually costs me at least £80 at the cheapest) on the grounds that usually she gets 3 crap presents, 1 ok and 1 nice out of the 5. This year she started specifying shops she found acceptable, such as The White Company. She's very generous herself in some ways but not in others. She's very odd (but funny and smart and exhilarating too).

However, the re-gifting thing annoys the crap out of me. It's not rude to do it, precisely, but it's damn well rude to tell me blatantly that she's done it with something I spent time and effort choosing!

MudCity · 25/12/2015 23:45

YANBU for being particular and disliking clutter but YABU for the stealth boast.

Leelu has rather summed it up above.

I don't like clutter and I do give some unwanted gifts to charity because I am trying to minimise the amount of stuff I have and only keep what I will use. What I don't use will hopefully be passed onto someone else who will.

I think the wording of your post was unfortunate because it rather came across that you only wanted the expensive 'label' items. I have a Bayliss and Harding gift set here which my mum gave me. I wouldn't necessarily choose it for myself but I am going to use it because shower gel is shower gel!

If you wish to dispose of toiletries, hats, gloves and scarves, then my suggestion would be to give them to a women's refuge. There are lots of women who arrive at refuges with nothing and a few toiletries and bits of clothing go a long way. For you they may be unwanted, for another woman they could be the most luxurious thing they have had in years.

BitOfFun · 25/12/2015 23:45

I think most people regift stuff they're not wild about, or it finds its way to the charity shop or school tombola, don't they?

It is perhaps a bit crass to post about it on a public forum when many people would have been grateful to accept things you've deemed beneath your taste, and it makes you sound ungracious and a bit grasping and/or snobbish. That's why you've had this reaction. Most people don't broadcast it for those very reasons.

Hatethis22 · 25/12/2015 23:46

I'll be giving away much of what my family bought me as it's very much not to my taste. I'll also be giving away all my gifts from my ILs. Nothing to do with labels. They buy stuff I really don't want or need.

I am perfectly grateful for the thought. I always thank them. We tried going no gifts for adults but it's never worked. We tried asking for vouchers towards something and they bought presents/bought presents as well as vouchers are 'no fun to unwrap.' If I am asked for suggestions I give ideas. They ignore them! I would never dream of asking them for the receipt to change something so the charity shops do well out of them!

Of your list I'd only be keeping the books and the towels!

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 25/12/2015 23:47

As others have already pointed out, there are far too many lonely people who would have loved to have given / received presents today.

Not even Boxing Day and you're thinking what you can regift!

You sound horrible.

Original poster
HopsNim · 25/12/2015 23:47

Mud I tried once to give some of DC's never-worn (due to growth spurt) outfits to a refuge locally and they were not interested. We have a MH charity shop, which is a cause close to my heart, in our area and they get most things I don't regift.

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 25/12/2015 23:48

My brother bought me a Bayliss and Harding set and it means a lot to me. Then I come on here and read your nasty snobbery. You sound mean.

Creiddylad · 25/12/2015 23:48

I will be exchanging a few of my presents, and surprisingly we have nothing to go to the charity shop this year.

Though MIL has ordered us something that we have not got yet, and has told us we will love or hate it. I know what my money is on.

Salmotrutta · 25/12/2015 23:49

YABU - you sound like hard work.

And a bit of a wally.

HTH

Pigeonpost · 25/12/2015 23:50

Tough call. My ILs used to buy us some utter tat which in all honesty we didn't want and didn't have space for so used to donate to the charity shop. I would rather someone else was able to enjoy it for a bargain price. We now direct the ILs quite closely to stuff we want. It rather spoils the surprise yes but at least it reduces the mountains of random tat (esp with the kids). But I still think YABU to come on here and moan about it.

Original poster
HopsNim · 25/12/2015 23:51

I am sorry about the B&H snobbery- it's just something I don't really love. I got a Dove set last year and i liked that (except for the mould-collecting puff thing Wink).

OP posts:
raffle · 25/12/2015 23:52

Hi op, can I suggest you don't 'get rid' of the Christmas tat just yet, hold onto it until next year and give it to one of the many present appeals for people who would love/appreciate it?

Been lots of informative threads this year (as every year) about women's refuges etc etc...

Greengardenpixie · 25/12/2015 23:55

Well i do think you should say something even if it is in a round about way. We have all be honest in my family and just say nothing for adults please.
Tbh, i work in a school and i feel a bit like you. Just rather be gifted nothing tbh as I have just opened bags and bags of candles, toiletries and chocolate.
Think i have enough to start a small shop Shock. In my case its hard to say to parents not to bother getting me anything as it seems to be the done thing. I would honestly rather have nothing for doing my job as i dont think its necessary. Its a kind thought though.

Aeroflotgirl · 25/12/2015 23:56

I have Eczema, so would give away the smellies, in a away you are right. I hate photo frames that fall apart in yiur hands, candles or smellies. Yes I have given that stuff away, I would much rather rather a £3 box of Heros or Quality Street or a pack of 4 Snickers. It's tat. But I would do this discreetly, and not say on here.

Hatethis22 · 25/12/2015 23:57

Where can you say it?

This is an anonymous forum.

Aeroflotgirl · 25/12/2015 23:58

I do it quietly, I certainly woukd not post a thread on it and receive a flaming.

BitOfFun · 26/12/2015 00:01

You don't need to give voice to every inconsequential thought though, especially in an arena where lots of people are likely to feel upset at having given or happily received the kind of items specified.

Hatethis22 · 26/12/2015 00:01

No, but surely MN is the place where you can come to say this kind of thing. You'd never say it to the gift givers.

coffeeisnectar · 26/12/2015 00:02

If I had an aunt that bought for me and gave me the pink pen I'd still keep it and use it.

I'm pretty sure most people have been given stuff that they can't make use of at one time or another but your complete snobbery and attitude is what's annoying.

Hatethis22 · 26/12/2015 00:04

If you've given or received something the OP doesn't like it doesn't mean it wasn't welcomed or that you were wrong to be pleased with it! It's just personal taste. I need the whole 12 days of Christmas to get through my festive sock collection. I love the things. It doesn't bother me that they're a bad present cliche!