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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't wait to give away my presents

163 replies

HopsNim · 25/12/2015 23:06

Is this terrible? As I get older I just find I'm way more particular about the stuff I like. Also I HATE clutter and I've been trying to only keep things that I love or that are useful in the house.

I rarely keep any presents I get, around 90% get re gifted or sent to charity shop. It means I really treasure the lovely stuff (this year: posh towels from dsis; organic face cream MIL; diamond necklace DP; Molton brown bits from BIL and new books and wine from DM. And it doesn't get missed in the sea of Bayliss & Harding-esque gift sets (label snob Grin), festive socks/hats/scarves, photo frames and ornaments that I shall be dispensing of on Monday.

OP posts:
whathavewedonenow99 · 25/12/2015 23:24

i gave some molten brown gifts this year that I got at a VERY reduced price. I'm not a 'label snob' but i've discovered that a lot of people see this sort of thing and go 'ohhh molten brown!' - not sure if that makes THEM label snobs or they just like what is perceived as 'nice stuff'. Also, it's Christmas and anyone who believes in 'label snobbery' should get down out of their own arses and just enjoy the day.

fakenamefornow · 25/12/2015 23:26

I'm with you op. I love Christmas, but can't stand all the presents. No more stuff, I've got too much stuff already. Only difference, I wouldn't even want the diamond necklace. Asking people not to get you anything is a lot more difficult than people seem to be saying it is though, you can't just say to somebody 'don't bother with a present, I won't want it'.

Original poster
HopsNim · 25/12/2015 23:27

oven read above- don't most people use diamond necklace to refer to anything diamond-looking???

Ok so IABU and a twat. But I really don't understand how other people on here actually go about telling people not to get them certain things. Gift-giving in my extended family tends to be rather random and sporadic so I tend never to assume I'm getting anything and don't mind either way.

And why is it so wrong to like lovely things that I don't have in my everyday life?

OP posts:
BondJayneBond · 25/12/2015 23:27

Agree that you should either tell people not to buy for you. Or suggest acceptable presents perhaps? Saves people wasting money buying gifts you don't want...

My siblings and I have been moving away from Christmas presents for a few years now. We've all got plenty of stuff already.

fakenamefornow · 25/12/2015 23:28

I might add, any give I received, I always look delighted, and really am very grateful for the thought.

sleeponeday · 25/12/2015 23:28

I do sort of know what you mean. We have a tiny house, as we moved when we only had one child. It is heaving with stuff. Being given more just makes me wince a bit - we don't have space. Very, very kind and appreciated as the thought behind it is, I'm looking with sinking heart at some rather large clobber given to the children. Can't regift, and no clue where to store it at all.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 25/12/2015 23:29

Snobby twat is what you sound like.

'Give me my diamonds! Take away this nonsense!'

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 25/12/2015 23:29

I wouldn't say, 'Please don't buy me X' - just, 'Let's not buy for each other this year and either give a donation to charity or have a night out together instead' or something.

Morganly · 25/12/2015 23:29

You are a lucky person.

People who aren't as well off as you give you stuff that you don't value but don't you value the spirit behind the gifts?

Give stuff away if you want but don't boast about it on a public forum which is populated by some people who will have happily received and given Bayliss and Harding this year.

RoseWithoutAThorn · 25/12/2015 23:31

don't most people use diamond necklace to refer to anything diamond-looking???

No. It's either a diamond necklace or not. Diamonds are completely different from cubic/crystal etc.

coffeeisnectar · 25/12/2015 23:31

My 10 year old bought me a luminous pink pen that looks like a quill with a long feather on top. You would think it's utter shit. I will treasure it because it was bought and given with love.

I think you should reread your op and then give your head a wobble.

Bunbaker · 25/12/2015 23:31

"As I get older I just find I'm way more particular about the stuff I like. Also I HATE clutter and I've been trying to only keep things that I love or that are useful in the house."

I agree with this, but you lost me when you stated that you were a label snob and regifted most of your presents.

"But do people honestly say to their in-laws, for example, please don't buy me xxx"

Yes, I could say this to MIL because she could say this to me, and neither of us was offended.

I don't have this problem any more because MIL has alzheimers and can't go Christmas shopping any more, so she just gives us money. My sister asks what we all want and Amazon's it to us. I still have enough hair conditioner from previous Christmases to last for several years though (I have short hair and only wash it twice a week).

Original poster
HopsNim · 25/12/2015 23:32

Where the hell does it say I'm well off? I am certainly not even close to comfortable.

OP posts:
SeptemberFlowers · 25/12/2015 23:33

Riiiight and you're going to be giving away your diamond necklace that your DP gave you ? Sure. Hmm

Can I be first in line then ?

TurduckenForDinner · 25/12/2015 23:34

I think it's good to pass on stuff if you know you won't use it. I try to do the same. This year is a bit of a dilemma as our au pair bought me a Bayliss and Harding gift set which I can't use as SLSs make me itchy (not a snob thing as I can't use Molton Brown either), but he put thought into it and he might know if I don't use it as he's in the house with us and I wouldn't want him to feel bad. He uses a different bathroom from me though, so I guess I could just pretend that I used it.

Original poster
HopsNim · 25/12/2015 23:34

coffee that's because it's from your child. Would you honestly feel the same if your aunt got you it?

OP posts:
Original poster
HopsNim · 25/12/2015 23:34

Eh september??? I'm keeping it

OP posts:
DancingDuck · 25/12/2015 23:35

Molton Brown is ridiculously thick snobbery. It's cheap, nasty, harsh detergent. Doesn't even smell good. But it's expensive so people think it's better than cheaper stuff. Molton Brown brings me out in a rash. I used to use it to clean the loo. I'd rather have Baylis and Harding personally.

ginmakesitallok · 25/12/2015 23:36

I understand what you mean op. I told dp that I wanted NICE smellies this year. Bayliss and Harding would be straight in the bag for school raffles. He got me some fab stuff from harvie nics. Will just have to hide it from the kids...

Crazypetlady · 25/12/2015 23:36

Twat.

Original poster
HopsNim · 25/12/2015 23:36

Well I love the smell of Molton brown and it doesn't bring me out in a rash, guess we are all different.

OP posts:
charlieandlola · 25/12/2015 23:39

I agree with the no tat rule hence why I have asked people not to get me stuff for Xmas and birthday .
The op does not come across well tho

ICanSeeForMiles · 25/12/2015 23:40

You sound like an absolute cow. The only thing I specify is no plants.

IronOrchid · 25/12/2015 23:40

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looki · 25/12/2015 23:40

I understand what you are saying OP. I live in a house that doesn't have near enough storage and getting something that isn't to my taste and it ending up in the back of the top of the wardrobe until I do a de-clutter - while it doesn't 'annoy' me, it makes me wonder where will I put it/do with it.

I have a MIL who gives very random objects (e.g. three jugs, seven sissors in consecutive years etc). At first I stored it but now I happily bag it up and take to a charity shop in January.

She doesn't buy any of the above with me in mind, she collects items on offer through the year and gives them out at Christmas to every member of the family. I have tried asking her to donate money to charity herself instead of buying me 'stuff' but she was very offended. Its much easier to smile, say thanks and pass on.