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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So embarrassed

222 replies

Notwithoutareason · 23/12/2015 17:39

Got some vouchers for dsis and Bil for Xmas for a restaurant as they like eating out.

Gave them today and they look up the food rating and it was low. Dsis was disgusted and gave them back saying "we can't even re gift that"

I'm so embarrassed :(

Did not occur to me to check first as although we had not eaten there ourselves it had been recommended to us and was local so we thought it was a nice present
I feel mortified

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 23/12/2015 18:17

New re I'm so embarrassed Do not be embarrassed. Go out for the meal, choose the best thing on the menu and tell your sister the food was lovely.

She does not deserve a present with that attitude! My son said some rude things over a present he got. I was mortified, he is five! What's your sister's excuse?

Topseyt · 23/12/2015 18:18

Get angry with her. Get very angry.

Tell your sister what a rude, hurtful and ungrateful twat she is. Tell her how much it upset you. Tell her how much thought you put into what gift to get for them, but that you will never be doing it again.

Then, go out with your DH and maybe a couple of friends for a curry. Take photographs while there and send them to her, perhaps on FB with a snarky remark explaining to all and sundry why you were there and she wasn't.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 23/12/2015 18:19

So does your sis have form?

OurBlanche · 23/12/2015 18:19

So, now you have a voucher for a slap up meal... look up the rating again, check what is low enough to give it a 1.

We have a great local Chinese that constantly has a 2... hygiene is great, management is awful!

And make a clear and indelible mental note: Your sister has no manners whatsoever and has shown she does not care if she hurts your feelings. Do not allow her any more access to your life and happiness!

cariadlet · 23/12/2015 18:20

OP, I hope you feel better after reading this thread. It's one of the few I've ever read that were unanimously in favour of an OP.

YANBU for giving a lovely gift; YABU for allowing your sister's rude reaction to make you feel embarrassed about the gift.

girlguide123 · 23/12/2015 18:20

I can understand how you would have felt humiliated and crushed by her reaction, when you were pleased with the thought of such a nice gift.

I'm glad you're starting to cheer up & realise that, as everyone has said, she was unbelievably RUDE and arrogant. most people wouldn't dream of saying something so hurtful and behaving how she did.

still, at least her rudeness meant you can now use the vouchers yourself, I hope you have a lovely time.

it would be quite beneath my dignity to ever refer to the matter again in front of her, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing she had hurt my feelings (but thenI am a bit of a stroppy cow). I would simply hand over a bog standard cheapo box of chocs next year with a card taped to it. and not say a word.

MrsJayy · 23/12/2015 18:21

Oh my god that is beyond rude are you ok now? Fuck em you go out and enjoy the vouchers

DiseasesOfTheSheep · 23/12/2015 18:23

Enjoy your night out. Consider it karma's way of apologising for your sister Shock

Ledkr · 23/12/2015 18:26

Never heard of anything as rude as this. Is there something wrong with her?
Don't get her anything else

pinkyredrose · 23/12/2015 18:27

Omg what a revolting attitude from Dsis, looking up the rating in front of you and then giving your present back !Shock That is truly disgusting behaviour. She should be wholy ashamed of herself and if she isn't well then you've just had an insight into the kind of person she really is. Classless, ignorant, rude and brattish.

Go with your friends who recommended the place and have a fantastic time. FWIW I never use the ratings, they don't seem to make any sense, I always eat in places on recommendation, never had a bad night out yet. Go and gave a blast with your mates, she can go fuck herself.

MilkshakeMonkey · 23/12/2015 18:27

A good restaurant would pick up their standards following a poor rating/inspection.
As EVERYONE has said - your sister was very rude. The gift shows thought (a restaurant you knew she liked) and was a lively gift (by the way - I would NEVER spend £100 on my sister - she should think herself lucky!!)
Even if I thought 'don't fancy there much' I would still accept the gift, it's just good manners, no?

sooperdooper · 23/12/2015 18:27

Who the actual fuck looks up the food hygiene rating, the minute they're given a restaurant voucher??? I'm utterly stunned and your sister should be ashamed of herself!!

Hope you enjoy a lovely meal and drink lots of wine and your sister never gets a nice and expensive present ever again

Sparklingbrook · 23/12/2015 18:28

If you were going to look up the food rating wouldn't you wait until you got home?

Blue2014 · 23/12/2015 18:28

Never looked up a food hygiene rating in my life - your sis is a bit odd I'm afraid

DinosaursRoar · 23/12/2015 18:29

No, don't buy them anything ever again!

FWIW - that rating is based on various things, not just the cleanilness. I know a friend works for a resturant that got a 2 star rating recently, but that was because while they'd had the gas safety certificate done, it was sat on the restaurant owner's dining table at home, not where it should be in the restaurant. If certain paperwork isn't up to scratch, then they can't get above a certain rating, which really has no baring on how likely it is that you'll get food poisioning or not.

how long is your voucher valid for? Have another look in a couple of months, it might well have gone back up.

Youarentkiddingme · 23/12/2015 18:31

Your embarrassed Shock

Whether our sister intended to use voucher or not she should have thanked you for gift and looked up restaurant privately.

You don't mention regifting. (Or lack of ability to do so)

At least she's made it easier for you next year - get her nothing!

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 23/12/2015 18:31

Rude, horrible cow. The only acceptable response to a gift (except if they're very obviously trying to hurt your feelings) is 'thank you very much'.

Don't worry about it. And maybe next year donate a goat on her behalf.

mintoil · 23/12/2015 18:32

OP my jaw is literally hanging over this - how unbelievably fucking rude of them!!!

To reject your present and to say they can't even regift it!!!!????

Words fail me.

I think this needs to be the start of some seriously shite present giving by you - see if you can surpass the crapness year on year and smile sweetly every time.

They sound awful and you sound lovely

Please don't cry over it, neither of them is worth your tears and I bet you have a fantastic time at the restaurant.

lorelei9 · 23/12/2015 18:35

please don't be embarrassed
your sister was very very rude
you gave a nice gift, nothing for you to feel bad about
I'm really stunned that anyone looks this up and returns the gift!!

VulcanWoman · 23/12/2015 18:39

Does your sister/her husband have form for this.
Go for the meal, you can then tell her how great it was.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 23/12/2015 18:40

That is disgraceful! Your dsis has absolutely no manners!

Whilst that is a low food rating, you weren't to know and why your dsis couldn't just say thank you and be polite about it is beyond me.

I hope you enjoy your meal there.

yorkshapudding · 23/12/2015 18:42

The fact that they actually looked up the food rating in front of you (who the hell does that?? Xmas Shock) makes me think they were hoping to find something wrong. Do they have form for being spiteful?

You did something really thoughtful and generous and it sounds as though they took great pleasure in throwing your lovely gesture back in your face. It was odd and completely unnecessary to check the rating in front of you, then once they discovered it was low they were incredibly crass and insensitive not to keep that to themselves and as for the "we can't even re-gift this" comment Xmas Angry. Well, that's just complete and utter nastiness.

If you feel embarrassed that's because they clearly had every intention of embarrassing you. Personally, I would not mention it again as I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of showing them their rudeness had any impact on me. They'd be getting bugger all next year though.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 23/12/2015 18:42

Go for a meal, take lots of pics and then tag them in Facebook

llhj · 23/12/2015 18:42

So what, did she actually get out her phone and start her research then and there before your eyes? Then tossed them back at you? Can't really get my head around all this. I mean that's v odd. What weird behaviour. What did her husband say? What did she give you?

Lndnmummy · 23/12/2015 18:45

She is terribly rude, what a cow. Take a good friend and go for a lovely meal!