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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dislike seeing young children with pierced ears.

381 replies

Singsongsungagain · 21/12/2015 19:10

Inspired by a picture on FB today of a friend's young child (6 years old) sobbing her eyes out whilst getting her ears pierced.
Why the hell would any decent parent hold their child steady to allow their ears to be pierced? What is it all about??

OP posts:
Notimefortossers · 26/12/2015 08:40

As have you. Difference is my views aren't founded in bigotry and prejudiced.

And I'm well aware of why you raised the 'statistics' . . . but you still don't know what it means.

anastasialow · 26/12/2015 09:46

We live in the Middle East and get constant complaints from everybody that it is impossible to tell if DD is a girl or a boy because she doesn't have her ears pierced.

It is a cultural thing here which defines your gender and the way you're treated from an early age.

DisappointedOne · 26/12/2015 09:58

It is a cultural thing here which defines your gender and the way you're treated from an early age.

Which is surely now an absolutely unreasonable thing to do to a small child/baby.

Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 26/12/2015 10:26

Exactly disappointed and actually, one of the many reasons not to do it! Why should baby girls be treated differently to baby boys?

OP posts:
Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 26/12/2015 10:29

Notime- it's not about prejudice or bigotry for me (wondering if you know what those words mean??). I haven't used words like "chav" etc- there are others on here who have. My prejudice, if I have any, is directed at parents who chose to inflict unnecessary pain on their children. No one on here has given me any justification for that at all beyond "all women have them done", which is clearly rubbish.

OP posts:
Notimefortossers · 26/12/2015 19:27

Taken from the Oxford Dictionary (just to check) :-

Bigotry - intolerance towards those who hold different opinions from oneself.

Prejudice - preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.

Yup, as I expected, think that describes your 'views' pretty well.

Oh, while I was there, I got this for you . . .

Statistics - the practice or science of collecting and analysing numerical data in large quantities, especially for the purpose of inferring proportions in a whole from those in a representative sample.

So yeh, you, your mum, your daughter and some of your colleagues don't really count as statistics.

Anyway . . . Ta ta!! I'm bored of you now

Notimefortossers · 26/12/2015 19:32

Oh! N.B.

I checked the ACTUAL statistics and that is in fact that 83% of Americans (both male and female) have their ear lobes pierced.

DisappointedOne · 26/12/2015 20:27

Americans. Brilliant. That must translate exactly against all other countries. Hmm

(Ps - please quote your source)

DisappointedOne · 26/12/2015 20:34

Hmmmm. Stats from a site that thinks the plural of piercing requires an apostrophe. Bucket of salt for those "stats", me thinks. Grin

Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 27/12/2015 00:21

That link is awful Disappointed and exactly what many of us on here are referring to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 27/12/2015 00:27

Notime- you may not read this if you have gone. However, just to state one more time, my only prejudice is against those who inflict unnecessary pain and alteration onto the body of a child that is already, by virtue of being the body of a child, perfect. I don't like the desire to encourage little children to grow up too fast. I don't like the separation of girls from boys through treatment of them- cultural or otherwise. I have no prejudice or bigotry beyond that and I find your words unnecessary and offensive.
My comment re "statistics" was very much tongue in cheek as I have already stated. Others alleged that "everyone I know has them done" to which I replied that the opposite is true in my experience. One set of such "statistics" is just as valid as any other. Even if your statistic is correct, 80+% still doesn't constitute "everyone".

OP posts:
Bambambini · 27/12/2015 01:45

"It only bothers me if the earrings are long and dangly."

Exactly, a Pat Butcher or Angie Watts look on a baby isn't a good look. Some little gold studs are lovely, something classic.

Suddenlyseymour · 27/12/2015 01:56

Meh. Has anyone stated the obvious yet? Bar cultural reasons, it just looks so COMMON. Let's prettify the next young 'un up asap. Yuck.

Bambambini · 27/12/2015 02:08

Why does it look common on uncultured babies but not common on cultured babies? Confused

DisappointedOne · 27/12/2015 09:04

What the actual fuck is a "cultured baby"?! One that goes to the opera?!

DyslexicScientist · 27/12/2015 09:17

One that eats fermented foods. Unless its mainstream stuff like Yakult, that is chavy.

Headofthehive55 · 27/12/2015 09:33

If it is true that 83% have their ears pierced then it does rather weaken the argument that everyone does. In the telegraph article it said approx half. I don't find that surprising as in my eleven year olds class, only a couple have them done. It seems way more usual not to.

I wonder if it's becoming a trend not to? And I'm just following that trend..

Headofthehive55 · 27/12/2015 09:40

anastasiaslow can't you just tell them if it's a boy or girl? Why do people not find that satisfactory? Do they need a visual reminder? Are your names not gender specific?

Otherwise it seems that you are saying its usual to have it done so that random people in the street who come across your baby and don't know you so don't know babies name go away satisfied knowing the sex without the need for a conversation with you?

Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 27/12/2015 09:55

Head, in my 9 year old daughter's class two girls have had them done, that's all. Both have older siblings who I suspect influenced them. One of them had them done a few days ago so very recent. I really don't think it's that usual anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 27/12/2015 09:57

And to add to Head's comment, if gender stereotyping and the vital need to know sex without dialogue really matters to you, which not just put a pink blanket on them? Why do you need to pierce holes in their ears, causing them pain and possible infection just to avoid saying "it's a girl"? Still not getting it here I'm afraid.

OP posts:
EnthusiasmDisturbed · 27/12/2015 10:37

Oh yes looks common forgot that one

So we have chavvy, cheap and common

I bet you can guess what name they are likely to have too

TaliZorah · 27/12/2015 10:39

When I was at school most girls had pierced ears by year 7. I'm 22, not that long ago...

Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 27/12/2015 10:43

11 years ago Tali. Quite a long time in terms of changing fashions really.

OP posts:
sausagepoo · 27/12/2015 11:00

I'm 39 and have never had my ears pierced and can't understand why anyone would want to. I have also never worn make-up, nor ever wanted to. Do not understand the what appears to be normal female need to colour in your face or stick holes in your ears. However, if other people want to, that is their decision and I understand that I am in a minority (although God knows why!). If my daughter wants hers pierced, I would make her wait until 13/14ish, there are lots of things children beg for but that doesn't mean that we should let them have them at 3 or 4.