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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dislike seeing young children with pierced ears.

381 replies

Singsongsungagain · 21/12/2015 19:10

Inspired by a picture on FB today of a friend's young child (6 years old) sobbing her eyes out whilst getting her ears pierced.
Why the hell would any decent parent hold their child steady to allow their ears to be pierced? What is it all about??

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 21/12/2015 19:29

Mine were done when I was 2. It was the case for every girl I knew (Middle East). I have never understood the British attitude to this!

My sister was born in Saudi and they beamingly handed her to my mum at 4 days old with tiny gold earrings in. My mum went BATSHIT Grin

WanderingTrolley1 · 21/12/2015 19:30

Yanbu.

InTheBox · 21/12/2015 19:32

LaContessaDiPlump Your mum didn't see her for 4 days whilst they took her to have her ears pierced??

StellaAlpina · 21/12/2015 19:32

You can get other things pierced under 16 with parents permission. My parents let me get my belly button pierced at 14 - I was old enough to look after it though!

Katarzyna79 · 21/12/2015 19:32

Studs on 6 year old look awful? lol i can understand preschool kids but 6 with just studs no cant see a problem if the child wants it. If my child never mentioned it i would wait till theyre older to ask.

My daughter was badgering me since 5 because her cousins all 6 girls from 5-18 got theirs done. At 7 she went shopping witg her dad came back pierced i was surprised. I was shocked to hearshe didnt cry at all. She usually shrieks if her bro lays1 finger on her.

It doesnt look inappropriate, still looks like a little girl no harm done.

LadyColinCampbell · 21/12/2015 19:32

BooOzMoo that's a really horrible, judgemental comment!

I don't think children should be told what they can and can't do with their bodies once they reach a certain level of maturity (not necessarily age as every child is different.) I wouldn't pierce a child's ears when they were too young to ask for it themselves, and I wouldn't pierce a five year old's ears even if they asked. I'd wait until that particular child could prove they knew what having their ears pierced entailed, with all the consequences of aftercare and school restrictions.

FWIW I have never had pierced ears and have not suffered or been ostracised as a result, so my perspective may come from not seeing a need for having one's ears pierced at all. For those who feel that earrings are an essential part of their dress maybe they feel better piercing a baby's ears because the baby isn't going to remember the event.

LaContessaDiPlump · 21/12/2015 19:33

No, she saw her but DSis was kept in the nursery. When she was brought in for a visit at 4 days, the glory of the earrings became apparent....

FindoGask · 21/12/2015 19:34

My daughter is 8 and spent much of this year constantly badgering me to get her ears pierced. Eventually I agreed that so long as she looked after them, I would allow it.

She was exemplary in her aftercare, and so proud of herself. Unfortunately, through no fault of her own, about 5 weeks into the healing process she slept on one of her earrings a bit funny and it became sort of embedded within her earlobe, so she had to have it taken out at the hospital. She now has to wait another year before she can have them re-pierced, which she was gutted about.

Anyway, yes. I think piercings on babies look a bit of a shame but some of the responses here seem to assume that children have no mind of their own and just mutely submit to their parents' wishes. If a child is old enough to take care of their piercings and really wants to have them done then I don't see the problem as long as they have the right support.

Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 21/12/2015 19:35

Why cause unnecessary pain though? Not to mention the risks to the child's ears in terms of infection/accidents etc. I just don't get it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 21/12/2015 19:36

Find- I am astounded at your view given that your child ended up in hospital as a result of something so unnecessary,

OP posts:
VinylScratch · 21/12/2015 19:36

BooOzMoo you forgot the fruit shoot and Gregg's sausage roll from your bingo card there, must try harder next time.

MistressoftheYoniverse · 21/12/2015 19:38

Both my DDs had their done +1...(they begged) its just how it is in some black families no one gives a rats arse...because we know that everyone gets their ears pierced and when they are children you can care for their ears properly...any others they get... they have to pay and care for themselves..don't understand the big deal

Katarzyna79 · 21/12/2015 19:38

contessa aged 2 andyounger is the norm in india and africa too. I dont think its necessary though kids are too little to care so why bother,plus they must scream like banshees too would be painful to them.

If my newborn was pierced id freak out too and id remove the earrings. Pure innocent babies are perfect as they are they dont know what beautification is nor need it.

usual · 21/12/2015 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 21/12/2015 19:40

Children are perfect. They don't need make up or jewellery or to need to modify their play to protect their piercings. Let them be children!

OP posts:
QueenMolotov · 21/12/2015 19:42

I think you're being incredibly judgemental, OP.

FWIW, my dd1 asked for her ears to be pierced from early into being aged 4yo. We discussed many times how that it will hurt (a stinging sensation and perhaps a hot, throbbing sensation afterwards). After a year, she still wanted it to be done so we took her just a few weeks before her 5th birthday.

She knew the pain was coming but she was very brave and has loved her earrings from the second they were in. She's almost 7yo now - probably the age where you'd see us in the street and wince. Please don't. We're okay, she's fine and loves spending pocket money on sweet little earrings.

It was her decision, which we supported. It's ear piercing FFS, not FGM.

Witchend · 21/12/2015 19:43

And the same child has probably been badgering for months. And if mum had said "okay lets leave it" would have been in floods of tears at not having it done.

wigglesrock · 21/12/2015 19:43

I've had my ears pierced for 36 years or so, everyone I went to school with had them pierced, as I said earlier in the thread both my dds have it done. I have never had an earring related injury. I've caught my bloody watch on a door handle more times than I can remember and nearly took my finger off when my wedding ring got caught on a washing up brush. My kids take their own earrings out and put new ones in, if they are careless with them or faff about with each other then they'll not be allowed to keep them in.

usual · 21/12/2015 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Singsongsungagain · 21/12/2015 19:45

I am very judgemental of people who post pictures of their children sobbing due to the pain being inflicted on them entirely unnecessarily yes.

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 21/12/2015 19:49

Somehow fine if you are Spanish.

MistressoftheYoniverse · 21/12/2015 19:49

My children didn't sob I took them straight to Maccy D's next door Grin..that's what a happy meal is for

QueenMolotov · 21/12/2015 19:49

To post such an image on FB is weird, but don't you think that is more of a problem with FB culture than ear piercing per sé?

hefzi · 21/12/2015 19:50

I profoundly dislike seeing children with pierced ears - but then, as I am in my 40s and don't have them pierced, there's probably a connection: I just think it's primitive Grin

To be honest, though, it's very common in a range of cultures, though not so much in the UK: people have their small (and not so small, in the case of Turkey) boys circumcised - at least if they are little, they won't remember the pain. Or at least, I would guess that is the argument. It seems odd that people promote bodily autonomy in ever younger children, but not over ear-piercing, though.

Headofthehive55 · 21/12/2015 19:53

lacontessa in the uk We value the freedom to chose for ourselves. Therefore it offends people when they see choice being taken from babies and the freedom to chose for oneself to have pierced ears or not.