Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand how people manage to make such a meal out of Christmas?

193 replies

BlueBananas · 21/12/2015 11:42

All you hear this time of year is 'oh I haven't got the potatoes peeled yet' 'I haven't cleaned the windows' 'I haven't hoovered the roof' type moans
Am I the only one that just doesn't get it?

I love Christmas, it's a huge thing in our family it really is, but it takes a couple of hours to cook a meal and why exactly are you all cleaning like mad people? I get that if you have guests then you clean yes, but only normal amounts of cleaning, why do people have to bleach all of their silverware and clean out cupboards? Why? Will Santa not come otherwise? And surely it's only clean for about 15 seconds until all the presents have been opened/chocolate eaten/guests descend? Then it looks like you never bothered, so why bother?

I'm starting to see that our Christmases are so lovely and relaxed and happy and I'm so glad

AIBU to think that everybody just needs to calm down a little bit?

OP posts:
BiddyPop · 21/12/2015 16:55

JCallender, actually, Christ was born closer to Easter than Christmas, and the early Christians took advantage of existing pagan celebrations to create a Christian celebration and move away from the pagan one.

That said, we are a Christian family and we do still attend church (infrequently but always Christmas, Easter and a good few other times during the year) and have other religious parts to our celebrations in the home.

MizK · 21/12/2015 16:55

DarkRoots I loved your post...yes to everything you wrote ☺

solomon2003 · 21/12/2015 17:22

"JCallender, actually, Christ was born closer to Easter than Christmas, and the early Christians took advantage of existing pagan celebrations to create a Christian celebration and move away from the pagan one."
This does not change the fact that Christmas is Christ's Mass ie. Christ's birthday. To say that Christmas was not created as a religious festival is still 100% factually false. Still, haven't noticed that people on here pay that much attention to rational debate anyway.

waitingforsomething · 21/12/2015 17:29

I just find that no other time of year is doc

waitingforsomething · 21/12/2015 17:30

Oops hit send too soon. I think being streSsed (not seriously so) is kind of part of it. I love to make sure everything is just so for such an exciting and happy time of year so this means making a bit of fuss!

TheSecondViola · 21/12/2015 17:40

Solomon you have no understanding of nuance. If you put one set of religious practices over a framework that has been evolving for a longtime previously and encompasses various cultures, and then that further evolves away from the religious aspects, its rather daft to claim it as wholly one thing or one religion.
Yes the name Christmas is about one dudes birthday, but the holiday itself? You don't get to claim the whole thing for the church of England!

Preciousxbane · 21/12/2015 18:11

On another thread a poster has described her MIL or Mum taking 25 minutes to chop up a punnet of strawberries. That is exactly my MIL, some people take an age to do anything so I would imagine it's very stressful for them. Also

Wanting everything perfect

Spending them with people that you don't really want to

Having no assistance when there are partners and Dc that should be pulling
their weight

The house will get a slightly better clean than usual, DH is in charge of the bathroom and cleaning the spare room and making up MIL bed as quite frankly it's his Mother coming not mine.

I refuse all assistance in the kitchen until it's dishing up time and then DH and DS will do the initial clear up while I drink Baileys. We always eat the pudding in the evening and if anyone wants any more food it's help yourself as my role as chief cook and bottle washer is over after lunch.

hefzi · 21/12/2015 18:14

BiddyPop actually, it's more likely to have been closer to September, rather than Easter - but it doesn't affect the fact that Christmas, even in its syncretic form, has traditionally been a religious holiday to celebrate the birth of Christ across the Christian world.

nippiesweetie · 21/12/2015 18:23

exLtEveDallas You are fantastic. I hope everyone has arrived safely and are settled in.

GiraffesAndButterflies · 21/12/2015 19:51

Everything is just a bit less neglect-able this time of year.

We are hosting MIL and then all going to my DPs so I need to both clean the house and also make sure all the clothes we'll need are washed. Normally I'd ignore the dusting or something low priority like that but decorations on top of dust look gross. There is more stuff everywhere (tree, presents, cards) so any amount of untidiness/clutter makes it impossible to move. And I would really like DD not to just think of Christmas as the time when she gets parked in front of the tv while DH and I are busy, so I'm trying to do some crafty/baking type things with her too.

And we were out seeing friends all weekend - which was lovely, but basically meant we had no time to do all this extra stuff.

So no it's not just a roast with crackers. And yes there IS more to do!! Lots of it! and I should be getting on with it

exLtEveDallas · 21/12/2015 19:53

Thank you, that is very kind of you to say so, but they are family so it's all worthwhile. They are here and settled in, just 2 hours later than expected and we are all fine (except my stress levels have risen seeing just how more frail they are since the last time I saw them. I don't think I'll be sleeping much whilst they are under my roof).

I'm going to make sure they have the best Xmas I can possibly give them :)

PuntasticUsername · 21/12/2015 21:27

If you hate it so much JCallender/solomon, why are you still here?

Verbena37 · 21/12/2015 23:38

Onlylovers Center Parcs.
Yep it's not cheap but it's defo not one of the busiest times to visit either and it feels so cosy and fun. We swim all day Xmas day and each of us chooses what they want for tea on Xmas day night and we buy Waitrose or m and s ready meals to take with us. It's simple and easy and we book a good mix of activities and have relaxing walks and nice meals out.....always Hucks Diner on Xmas eve. It won't be forever as the kids get older I'm sure but we all love it for now.

rabbitware surely Christmas is a religious festival, no? To celebrate the birth of Jesus and all?

Bonkers1 · 21/12/2015 23:49

Hoover the roof! That did make me laugh. I do usually go mad trying to make everything clean and tidy so that I can relax on Xmas day and the week after as it is a special time of year. Why am I so hell bent on avoiding putting the washing machine on on Xmas day?? I have no idea.

I love all the Xmas cooking. Yes, it is just a glorified roast but with a few more time consuming trimmings and usually for a few more people. It's all the other stuff if you're into cooking - like for me, a good meal on Xmas eve, a yule log, a Xmas cake that I haven't made yet, a boxing day ham that I haven't made yet, a nice breakfast on Xmas morning. Everything takes a little more effort and planning. I wouldn't do it unless I enjoyed it though.

I don't get those people who shop like it's the end of the world and moan about it and then can't wait to queue in the boxing day sales. My idea of hell.

NowBringUsSomeFuzzpiggyPudding · 21/12/2015 23:54

I wondered if hoover the roof was a Black Books reference (tumbledry the doilies is another one from the same bit) :o

DisappointedOne · 21/12/2015 23:55

surely Christmas is a religious festival, no? To celebrate the birth of Jesus and all?

Ish. The pagans were celebrating the solstice/Yule with logs and trees and lights and feasting and presents and general merriment. The church decided it liked the look of that so stole the festival for themselves. Hence Xmas.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 22/12/2015 00:18

Well sort of, the Church was trying to persuade the pagans to convert to Christianity, so hijacked their Yuletide so they'd be celebrating the two things together, then slowly edged Yuletide out and Christmas took over.

And no, NOT hence "Xmas" - X is the Greek letter for Ch and is an accepted shortening for Christ.

Verbena37 · 22/12/2015 00:19

Hmm, I like the pagen idea of it much more than it being linked to Jesus' birth.

Verbena37 · 22/12/2015 00:19

Oops, pagan I mean

Bonkers1 · 22/12/2015 00:20

surely Christmas is a religious festival, no? To celebrate the birth of Jesus and all? depends if you're a practising Christian or not. It's a mishmash of origins and history, not all Christian.

TheSecondViola · 22/12/2015 01:05

WAS a religious festival. With only 4% going to church on Xmas, it clearly is no longer a religious festival but a cultural one.

Philoslothy · 22/12/2015 01:09

We make a big meal out of Christmas but that does not mean that anybody is stressed or playing martyr.

I used to teach so we traditionally do a deep clean of the house at the start of each holiday - this includes Christmas.

We go away the weekend before Christmas to buy presents and clothes.

Christmas Eve we host a big party mainly for the children and families of the village. That takes a lot of preparation.

Our guests tend to arrive on the 23rd, we have 8 guests this year staying over as well as a further three visiting and going home. That means hosting 16 people in total until the 27th - they often return for new year.

Christmas Day I am feeding 20.

Boxing Day we do an open house - we usually have extra guests that arrive - all of whom need feeding.

We don't really do presents but for us the food and entertainment is at the centre of Christmas and that takes a lot of work - however we share that work so it is not just me.

Flashbangandgone · 22/12/2015 08:48

WAS a religious festival. With only 4% going to church on Xmas, it clearly is no longer a religious festival but a cultural one.

Perhaps on Christmas Day morning... 36% is figure I've read for attending Christmas services of one sort or another throughout season.

BarbaraofSeville · 22/12/2015 09:25

This thread reminds me of some of the Christmas adverts a couple of years ago. There was the Boots one, where two women met in the street, both with streaming colds, but a long list of things that 'had' to be done in the run up to Christmas. Predictably they both had men at home who had taken to their beds at the first hint of a sniffle. But thankfully, the women could go to Boots and pick up something to relieve their colds so they could just get on with it.

Then there was the Morrisons one where the utterly miserable woman was doing absolutely everything to prepare for Christmas because the advert claimed that she 'loved doing it' without a jot of input from her DH or anyone else. I wanted there to be a follow up advert the next year, where she was shown on a beach sipping cocktails, with her family were all sat expectantly around an empty table at home Grin.

I'm convinced that 80/90% of the preparations for christmas that some people (mostly women) insist are absolutely non negotiably compulsory are in reality totally optional, and a lot of people (mostly men) wouldn't notice or give a stuff whether they happened or not.

Yes, get presents for the DCs, a tree, dinner if you are hosting, but things like wrapping themes, new themed decorations each year, Elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve hampers, cards and presents for Uncle Tom Cobley and all, numerous courses and sides for the dinner, etc etc etc are just a whole load of extreme wifework that the shops have managed to convince us are necessary, when most of us wouldn't notice whether they are there or not.

Don't martyr yourself, opt out or scale back. And have a more relaxing, enjonable Christmas as a result Smile.

And I hope those of you hosting 10/20/30 people rotate with other family members so you only have to take on such a massive undertaking once every few years.

Merry Christmas.

HeadDreamer · 22/12/2015 09:35

I'm convinced that 80/90% of the preparations for christmas that some people (mostly women) insist are absolutely non negotiably compulsory are in reality totally optional, and a lot of people (mostly men) wouldn't notice or give a stuff whether they happened or not.

This exactly. I remember the adverts too.