To not understand how people manage to make such a meal out of Christmas?

[BlueBananas]

All you hear this time of year is 'oh I haven't got the potatoes peeled yet' 'I haven't cleaned the windows' 'I haven't hoovered the roof' type moans
Am I the only one that just doesn't get it?

I love Christmas, it's a huge thing in our family it really is, but it takes a couple of hours to cook a meal and why exactly are you all cleaning like mad people? I get that if you have guests then you clean yes, but only normal amounts of cleaning, why do people have to bleach all of their silverware and clean out cupboards? Why? Will Santa not come otherwise? And surely it's only clean for about 15 seconds until all the presents have been opened/chocolate eaten/guests descend? Then it looks like you never bothered, so why bother?

I'm starting to see that our Christmases are so lovely and relaxed and happy and I'm so glad

AIBU to think that everybody just needs to calm down a little bit?

I do a bigger clean than normal for Christmas, but only because we have visitors on Boxing Day and they expect it to be spotless clean. If it was just us I wouldn't bother. I am having a small declutter too, but that just involves chucking it all in carrier bags then putting the bags under the stairs until they've gone. Food, I've done our normal weekly shop, then added the extras needed for Christmas Day and Boxing Day, nothing too excessive

You mean I have to hoover the roof OP Why did no-one tell me!!

(Runs off to get ladder and miss point of thread).

1. I live on my own with DS. He has SN and I never make roasts because 1.

So yeah, it is a little bit stressful when 10 members of my family come to stay and I have to plan food for them all and get rooms and beds ready. I enjoy having them - it's great fun but I do have to plan food and think about a load of stuff which I don't normally think about.

And the reason people do a load of shopping is presumably because they don't want to spend Boxing Day buying milk and cereal because they ran out.

I do apologise for not being so uber zen as the OP and some of you on the thread though

I agree it isn't worth stressing over, but having 60% more guests for 3 days is not just Christmas Dinner. Its Christmas Eve and Boxing Day Dinner too + breakfasts, sandwiches, snacks and umpteen drinks rounds in between. Oh, and sorting out sleeping arrangements for extra guests. No. It is not just Sunday Dinner with Crackers.

But when we are home, we cook what is basically the "Sunday roast with a cracker" type meal.

Starters: A pack or 2 of M&S party food to eat while we open presents and occasionally check turkey, and quaff a bottle of bubbles.

Main: Turkey, roast spuds, stuffing, Brussels, roast root veg, gravy, maybe frozen peas to make sure DD will eat some veg. DH and I squabble over the crispy bacon on the turkey's back as it comes out of the oven so it never makes it to the table. Maybe some ham or spiced beef if we cooked it for Christmas Eve and have leftovers.

Cheeseboard: Cos we love it. Stilton, a nice cheddar, another nice hard cheese, brie OR camembert, and maybe a goats cheese or something else. No problems with that much as the leftovers will be savoured over the following week/10 days.

Pudding: DM always makes us a proper pudding, and I do flame it.

We buy mince pies in the shop. I keep making mince meat, but I am rubbish at pastry so give it to ILs and DM mostly and use it in other things myself (like crumble type desserts).

It is the one day of the year that I do go to town on wine. I buy a bottle of bubbles to enjoy when we get in from visiting. I have 2 nice bottles of wine for turkey - we might only open 1, but it's nice to have a spare if we want it (which would probably be instead of dessert wine/port etc). I get a half bottle of dessert wine for 1 glass each with pudding, and we finish it another night with dessert. We might have a glass of port with the cheese. I have occasionally been known to end the night with a french coffee or a glass of amaretti. But it is all spread over many hours, and we almost never just relax over a few glasses given the pace of our lives at present, and it is not to the point of falling down drunk, just pleasantly mellow (I spend the same now on really nice wine that we used to spend on lots of cheap muck and get a lot fewer bottles that we can really enjoy). But that part DOES require thinking about ahead of time so that it is bought while in stock.

And as I type, I realize I forgot to get the port this year, either for our house or to bring to my DPs gathering at NY that we go to and bring a bottle (BIG cheeseboard there and many drinkers of port). DAMN. Probably all sold out, but will visit my trusty wine merchant over lunch break.....

OK, Nachos, I hear you about your in-laws' dementia etc.

And to be clear, I wasn't for one minute suggesting you stress yourself out cooking turkey! I meant cook what you like (which you obviously do) but I didn't know why you had to pretend you'd made something else.

People who've got their decorations up already can't be deep cleaning now - so it's just keeping on top of things and titvating: unless they are insane enough to take all their decorations down, of course, to do a final deep clean before Christmas...

Don't forget too, some people like to have a bit of a huff and puff, or woe is me, or general angst: it doesn't actually mean they are making a meal out of Christmas, just expressing different coping strategies for a period that usually involves extra guests and bigger meals.

I haven't even tidied up really. Tree only went up the other day. We aren't here for the day itself so meh, I don't care.

The only thing I go totally crazy over is presents. I absolutely LOVE choosing presents for my DH, DCs and DSCs, and I spend a lot of time on it. It's not a chore for me at all.

And music! I've lost count of how many times we've listened to our favourite carols album (Annie Lennox) as DD is now obsessed with it too, and I play loads on the piano too.

Only No, I know you were asking why because it seems bonkers to pretend. It IS bonkers!!! Truth is, I am delighted my silly ruse has worked for 10 years. It was DH's suggestion and it has become a bit of an in-joke between us.. 'cooking the ''ticken'' '. I know it is silly. But it works for us very well. :)

I am so glad we have an almost perfect Christmas. I love my ILs. They stay with us for a week. It is NOT easy... there are massive amounts of stress going on at various points, but we just chill, relax, cook insane amounts of food. The expectation that are on us I am used to and comfortable with. I guess in my clumsy way I was responding to the OP asking why people get stressed... because expectations can be hard and family dynamics can be hard.

Most people have time off around Xmas so it's a good time to have a clean / clear out.

My mum does as much prep the day before she hosts every year, bless her so she can actually relax a bit on the day.

No big deal?

Personally I'm a bit of both.... I like things clean and tidy to begin with but I also love the time off to be lazy, relaxed and so things as a family. I couldn't relax if house was a tip to begin with. Nor could I leave my gift shopping too last minute (I'm done and wrapped, good timing as we're all ill)

YANBU. Some years I do a lot of fiddly stuff, other years I pare it back and pick stuff with minimal effort for big effect, but either way after a few years you get a routine going and it's no longer a big deal, I have found, and I am not super organised.

The only thing I go totally crazy over is presents. I absolutely LOVE choosing presents for my DH, DCs and DSCs, and I spend a lot of time on it. It's not a chore for me at all.

The point of the OP I think is that she doesn't understand why women turn this into such a stressful time.

Do what you what to do. If you like presents and music go for it. If you love cooking for 15 like a michelan star resturant, go for it too. And if you love a spring clean, feel free.

It is just another family gathering, with a bit more time on your hands.

Like I'm slacking off from work now posting on MN

Cheesy You can't really be saying that your inlaws think you are serving them turkey? Chicken and turkey taste totally different.

Are they too polite to say, or are they just going along with the deception

I don't understand the insistence on turkey. Most people seem to either dislike it or prefer other meats, and a lot of people struggle to cook it satisfactorily, yet almost everyone insists on it because it's 'tradition' which it isn't anyway beef and goose being the actual traditional meats.

FIL has dementia, so possibly does not notice. MIL might know.... but she is deffo too polite to say.

We tried goose one year. Did not go down well at all.

'cooking the ''ticken'

I like it.

It's just a roast dinner. All this angst. Not to mention people excusing utterly shit behaviour because 'it's Christmas'. Or getting into debt for it. One day. It's one fucking day.

I don't go mad with cleaning or anything like that. I do like the laundry to be done, and I'll make sure the floor is vacuumed before presents are opened but that's about it - the rest, meh.

But then we don't have any visitors other than MIL for Christmas Day - she only lives 15 mins away, doesn't drink, so has no need to stay over; and no one else comes near us. Family are all too far away and friends are all doing their own thing, so there's really no point in getting over-wrought about the state of the house.

Also, DH cooks the Christmas lunch - it's his "thing" now, since the first Christmas we were married as I'd only just had DS1, so wasn't really able for it. MIL was staying then, so she helped out - but DH has carried on doing it every year since, which is a huge blessing. I think he finds it less stressful doing it himself than watching me get stressed about it; plus if he's cooking he doesn't have to deal with the children! I only do the pudding. And have to prepare the sprouts if I want them done properly (DH won't bother to do it the way I like them and they don't cook properly, IMO, if you don't do it right). I do the pudding as well.

I do get stressed the night before, though, as that's usually when I do all the present wrapping - and that is ALL down to me as DH pisses off to bed around 8:30/9pm. And I'm an utter harridan in the morning because we have to Skype UK family, so the boys aren't allowed to open their presents from my Dad or sister until they're online. Always fun! But so much nicer for them to be involved, and the boys are very good about waiting, bless 'em.

Average Sunday lunch involves 5/6 people sat round the table, Average Christmas dinner involves 30 people sat round the table so to me it is more than just a Sunday lunch with crackers. There is cleaning involved which doesn't come into the every day cleaning because it means we are using rooms that are hardly ever used so need a good airing and yes it does mean cleaning crockery and cutlery which doesn't get used throughout the year, I don't make a song and dance about it though it just gets slowly done throughout the month.

Is it stress though? I do a lot of cleaning before christmas, I am busy but I
don't stress.
We have several sets of guests coming to eat over the christmas period, I like the house to be neat and tidy, but also for us.

I am about to give the fridge and food cupboards a deep clean, as we will do a big food shop on Wednesday morning.
We have nice things to eat all through the christmas period, we bake a ham, I like pickles and stilton and nice nibbles, things we don't normally eat at other times of the year.
We are 3 adults and 2 teenagers, OH and the kids are off work and school for 2 weeks, normally they eat outside the home, so I need a lot of extra food for lunches and snacks.

I was asking for tips about how NOT to be a Christmas martyr so maybe this thread is about me!

I like my house to be tidy (not show home standard 2 DC under 4) as i would feel uncomfortable visiting someones house and it was a mess. I want to do it in advance so i can enjoy spending christmas with my family and NOT cleaning. Hubby grew up in a very cluttered house and gets twitchy if its a mess - he does pull his weight however, when directed.

We have birthdays either side of xmas so the plastic tat in immense, so i try and declutter to make more room for stuff. Also the playroom becomes the dining room and the kitchen has the table removed and a sofa put in its place so its a good time to get at the bits i cant normally see.

This year i still need to tackle the washing mountain, change bedding, clear out my bedroom and do food shop. No roof hoovering here but i did clean the finger prints from the internal glass doors as the kids had made them look like smoked glass.

I grew up in a show home type house and xmas was always done to Antheas standards by a christmas martyr so whilst i am trying not to fall in that trap it has coloured my view on what xmas should look like. However the pressure for it to be just right comes from me. Hubby wouldnt care as long as there was presents on the tree, crackers and a hot meal vaguely resembling a roast.

So i suppose i do it now so that i can have a week off, before the cycle of endless house work, cooking and food shopping starts again for another year.

well i'm very glad that so many of you keep your entire house in 'receiving guests' condition and are always on top of everything but we don't and we aren't. Our house is usually bare minimum cleaned and we don't have people over much. We have been doing jobs like painting bits and fixing/changing light fittings and curtains/blinds since we moved in over the summer and I imagine we always will be.

For Christmas we need to convert the 'office' into the 'spare room', clear away all piles of stuff that is waiting for whatever thing it's waiting for or to be taken wherever it's needing taken.
Finish all diy jobs and clear away all the equipment and rubbish.
Ensure we have enough clean bedding, dishes, chairs etc. for around three times as many people who live here.
hoover up all the blinking pine needles again
Ensure we all have enough clean clothes that we don't have to be putting on a laundry load in the middle of charades with great aunt mabel.
And i'd rather not run out of milk or bread by boxing day, even though there are shops open.

We do usually have goose, when we can but not this year - it's turkey this year, which is great because we all love it, DH does a fantastic job of cooking it too. Goose is delicious but only ever does one meal; last year, I missed turkey leftovers so badly (specifically cold turkey and cranberry sandwiches), that I went out and bought the last frozen turkey crown left in the supermarket on Boxing Day and cooked it the next day - leftovers, yum!

I don't understand the insistence on turkey

I don't understand the insistence on brussels sprouts either. Or maybe I haven't met the sprouts lovers yet.

My house is,always clean and tidy
I never host, just me and dcs and its so laid back.
Looking forward to Jan 2nd when the tree goes and I can buy daffodils.