To not understand how people manage to make such a meal out of Christmas?

[BlueBananas]

All you hear this time of year is 'oh I haven't got the potatoes peeled yet' 'I haven't cleaned the windows' 'I haven't hoovered the roof' type moans
Am I the only one that just doesn't get it?

I love Christmas, it's a huge thing in our family it really is, but it takes a couple of hours to cook a meal and why exactly are you all cleaning like mad people? I get that if you have guests then you clean yes, but only normal amounts of cleaning, why do people have to bleach all of their silverware and clean out cupboards? Why? Will Santa not come otherwise? And surely it's only clean for about 15 seconds until all the presents have been opened/chocolate eaten/guests descend? Then it looks like you never bothered, so why bother?

I'm starting to see that our Christmases are so lovely and relaxed and happy and I'm so glad

AIBU to think that everybody just needs to calm down a little bit?

This thread is going to turn into a "I serve spag bol and the kids get a lump of coal" competition.

headdreamer- I love sprouts, I serve them regularly all though the winter. DD is a sprout lover too, and always asks for second helpings.

I had to do 9 loads of washing yesterday though. Dd back from uni.
But all dry and put away.

Sprout lover here. All my family like them. But they have to be cooked right - can't bear them over or under cooked.

I like sprouts but hate peeling them. DP is also a sprout lover, but knows we don't have them unless he peels his half.

If we host, one thing we have to do is remember to ask guests to bring their own chairs as we only have 2. I also put MIL in charge of table cloths/decorations as she has loads of them and we have none. Keeps everyone happy - spreads the load and MIL is one of those people who likes to keep busy and interfere help out. But whether there is 2 or 10 of us, it's only a slightly elaborate roast dinner, no big deal. And I don't care whether guests expect the house to be spotless, we come as they find us.

Assuming your DD is physically able, Savage, why is she not doing her own washing?

I serve spag bol

I bet if you ask the children, many will want spag bol. I know mine would. They'd prefer that over the curry, which is my choice.

Because I can get it done quicker Barbara
My turning around of washing is legendary.
However she is currently hoovering and is buying me dinner tonight so I'm happy .

I might agree with the op if it wasn't so obviously a giant pile of horse shit. Oh its just a dinner, why the flapping, I'm so cool....
Tis bollocks, for a lot of us. You try making three courses for 25 people in an hour or two, and with no extra shopping. And a buffet the day after for 40 plus.

I don't stress, or complain. But just because you don't choose to have guests or parties or indeed clean your house at all, don't be thinking yourself somehow superior. Of course its a lot easier if you don't do anything different for xmas, but not doing anything and then giving out about people who do sounds more like envy than anything else.

well said viola

I think YAB (a bit) U.
I am not even hosting Christmas but in preparation I have:

Bought presents for DC, relatives, DC's child minder, DC's nursery teacher and work secret Santa
Done Christmas list with DS
Wrapped presents
Helped DS make Christmas biscuits to give as gifts
Cleaned house and bought nibbles to entertain DH's parents for pre Christmas visit.
Ordered wine to be sent to my parents as contribution towards Christmas dinner.
Worried over the budget for all of the above

DH has:

Bought Beer, cleaned house and organised invites for our annual Christmas Party.
Hosted Christmas party.

We also have to pay for and undertake a loooong journey south to spend Christmas with my folks.

I am not doing Christmas on any kind of grand scale but it all adds up and takes time and money.
The pay off is the 2 weeks of lazy torpor starting Christmas eve

i think the issue really is how people react to different situations ...

i do not find it stressful, like a good declutter, happy to make up spare rooms etc, love hosting and love cooking, and really love buying pressies and wrapping...so christmas is just my fave time of year. I just dont find it a stress....but I can empathise that some people...hate cooking, hate having lots of people to stay, are not natural hosts or find themselves uncomfortable with guests staying...so for them christmas must be stressful

The people i find bizzare are the ones who put so much more pressure on themselves with the most ridiculous ideas of what 'must' be done as it christmas. over on the christmas food shop thread someone was fretting about getting to supermarket for the christmas tree shaped chicken nuggets....and as for having special christmas bed linen...well great if you love changing your linen and can afford a special set but if you don't and can't and you are now getting stressed 'cus everyone knows you have to have christmas bedlinen' then go and have a nice cup of tea and a biscuit. ( caitlin moran's advice for all life crisis)

Yes ,jellybean...it should be an enjoyable time and if it causes so much angst, something's wrong.

We go away just me, DH and the kids. Done.
No worries about anything.
Christmas has become one day of total consumerism and it makes me so cross.

Christmas, for decades, hasn't been the religious celebration it was created as and so because we aren't religious, that side of it doesn't worry me. Therefore, for us, if we weren't away, it really would just be a family day of sitting and eating a big lunch you don't really need and chatting with people you might not want to spend a whole day with. Going on holiday for that week is so much less stressful and the kids love it. We've made our own traditions. We still see our families before and after the Christmas days but it isn't so overwhelming.

I like doing a big clean up and getting household jobs done at the start of the holidays. That way I can sit on my arse and let it all build up again over the next 2 weeks.

I have a very "don't do it if you don't want to" approach to Christmas though. I love it-the food, music, buying presents for DC, winter walks. I'll be fucked if I am going to ruin my own enjoyment because I have to run around Tesco buying Great Auntie Ethel's particular brand of mince pie

verbena, christmas was not created as a religious festival.

Why are you cross at the commercialism? Eat drink and be merry I say.

Verbena, can I ask what kind of place(s) you go to? I like going away at Christmas and am keen for new ideas!

I do all of the above OP,but I don't get stressed out and there's 7 of us and myself and 2 of our DC are disabled.Everything's been cleaned,everything we have is wrapped,last few bits have been ordered and I'll wrap those when they get here.We did some decorating recently as well.We've visited family and friends and exchanged presents.Done a big normal food shop and Christmas food shop,just a few fresh bits to get this week,that will take me all of 20 minutes.

I think it all depends how you are in general all year round as to how you cope when you have alot that you want to get done.My family have always said if I was any more laid back I'd be horizontal I've done all of my parents Christmas shopping and wrapping in the past as well as my own because they were the type of people that get very stressed out about Christmas bless them.

I'll be fucked if I am going to ruin my own enjoyment because I have to run around Tesco buying Great Auntie Ethel's particular brand of mince pie

I think that's what the OP is getting at –not that people shouldn't do Christmas, just that there is often so much worrying done about getting everything 'right' and, all too often, pleasing everyone else while wearing oneself down.

We're going to the pub for Xmas dinner so in theory it should be a stress free day! Must confess though I am getting mild angst about when I'm going to get the house cleaned and looking nice - DS is off school now, DSD coming to stay from tomorrow and I'm working til Wednesday. I know it'll get done and keep telling myself its no big deal (cos it's not, it's really not) but I can't completely relax til its done!!

I have spent years trying myself up in knots about cleaning at Christmas then this year dh is working right up until Xmas morning and me not much better. I knew I'd have the kids off this week so any hope of a clean ordered house has been forgotten and replaced with watching Xmas films, glitter covered tables and just nice relaxing time at home.
I did the bedrooms and bathrooms last week and will have a little blitz of downstairs on Wednesday but apart from that I am not going mad, I have 9 for Xmas day and more for Boxing Day and dh will be knackered so it's going to get a mess anyway.
It's lovely.

" fretting about getting to supermarket for the christmas tree shaped chicken nuggets...."

There are Christmas Tree chicken nuggets?! Where do I get them? missing point

We often go away and ignore it all too. Usually with like minded friends. And we do whatever we like.

This year DH is turning 40 at new year, so in the last couple of months I have:

• planned and booked a surprise holiday for us
• bought a few small stocking presents for DD(5)
• organised a collection amongst the parents of DD's class and bought resources the teacher wanted (rather than presents for them)
• hosted a get together of close friends and their kids

I've just bought the ingredients for our festive meal (Weds). On Friday we'll be having jacket spuds with beans and cheese. Yum!

So that's me, done. Anything else is completely unnecessary in my eyes.

Each to their own.

unlimited....i secretly want them ...but have been so scathing on MN am too embarressed too...hangs head in shame

Stress? Oh yes lots of stress.

1. Aspie ds who does not do Christmas and finds the whole thing incredibly stressful and distressing

= feels like playing with matches in a firework factory some days and very hard not to find stressful

1. Emergency building work that finished friday but has left us with no furniture and a barely functional kitchen until the 3 inch layer of dust and muck is removed and furniture can go back
2. The long planned for December birthday party that is tomo. Can't be rearranged due to distances being travelled by people who have not been seen for in years.
3. Christmas is not just a roast with crackers. Christmas is food that is not eaten at any other time of the year. Family traditions and cultural traditions play a huge role in this. (not normally stressful but see reason 2)

Today I have to clean out the lounge, clean out furniture and sort everything out so that there is a functional house. I am stressing because I have hurt my back and have had serious insomnia which finally broke last night meaning I slept until 1pm today. There is not enough hours in the day to achieve what needs to be achieved. But Party food has been mostly prepped as I borrowed a friend's kitchen whilst the builders were putting a new concrete floor down. I have done everything I could do to avoid stress but it is sometimes not avoidable.

After tomo I just have to stress about the one christmas present I have not finished making. But i now a I will finish it boxing day IOU will be accepted so not too stressed about that. It is expectations of others that can impact on stress levels. If the IOU would not be accepted then there would be stress to make sure it was done on time. Family dynamics can be stressful all year round. And the expectation that Christmas is for the family put added pressure on this.